I hate bureaucrats.

[bottleopener]

I'm applying for a temporary liquor permit in the fine city of hartford. Let's go over the list of the state's requirements to sell tickets to a party.

1. Drive 40 minutes to new haven for a background check.
2. Drive back 2 days later to pick up the piece of paper that says I'm not a criminal.
3. Drive back 2 days later to meet with the license officer to get the Chief's signature on my application saying that I'm not an *******.
4. Drive back the next day to pick up the application.
5. Drive downtown to the city clerk, get his approval.
6. Drive down to the zoning official, wait 7-10 days for them to realize that a college campus is properly zoned for parties.

I'm up to this part so far, but the fun is just beginning!

7. Arrange meeting with fire marshall, convince him that there is minimal risk of a devastating inferno in a back yard/parking lot.
8. Take all this information to the hartford police department, wait for them to double check everything above and get back to me.
9. Take the now-finished application to the liquor commission, wait for them to triple check and approve.
10. Take approved application to campus safety, along with filled out event application.
11. Hire mandatory security and bartenders.

Total cost: about 30 bucks plus an assload of gas.

All this so we can cover the costs of the wild expenses that the school demands.

And we're getting kegs of natty light to boot.

How the hell did I get stuck with this?

 

[Bedlam]

And we're getting kegs of natty light to boot.

How the hell did I get stuck with this?

Jeebus! Talk about adding insult to injury.

Next time, have your organization pony up for some homebrew ingredients, then tell the local ********...er, authorities...that you are doing an experiment in nutritional delivery with a prototype of "liquid bread".

"Like, ossifer, we're tryin' to eliminate world hunger, dude!"

 

[Melana]

Ok and how did you get stuck with this wonderful task?

 

[bottleopener]

I have the lovely distinction of being the only one in the frat who is both a Connecticut resident and over 21.

I never thought I'd curse the legal right to buy beer.

 

[Melana]

Be careful that no one gets hurt after they leave your party...

 

[zoebisch01]

Good God man. After a washboard list of stuff like that, you are so on the hook. Everybody in the world has your number. I agree with Melana....now you have to watch your backside.

And this is all because you wanted to be a responsible citizen.

 

[Kilgore_Trout]

Good God man. After a washboard list of stuff like that, you are so on the hook. Everybody in the world has your number. I agree with Melana....now you have to watch your backside.

And this is all because you wanted to be a responsible citizen.

That's the lesson right there.

Now you get to be the jerk who keeps everyone in line, as you'll probably be responsible for anything that happens either a) at the party or b) to anyone that leaves the party.

That will teach you to follow the law!

 

[EvilTOJ]

I would be doomed to failure after number 3.