I agree with you on those being tacky, ew. I can't really think about something that would be cool, not similarly tacky, and (most importantly, as a firm believer that form follows function) COMFORTABLE in the hand when you're putting your weight on it.
I've always been a huge fan of antler for walking sticks, blade handles, and the like. It's natural and has awesome, flowing lines. But, we've never met: you may be vegetarian for all I know.
I see you're listed as living near Lexington, KY. I lived in Cynthiana and Paris for five years: that brought horses to mind, and thoughts of different elements of tack/bridle that would work. BUT, (having lived there myself) I also know that if you live in Lexington and don't LOVE horses, then you are sick to death of hearing about horses, no?!
Whatever you go for, maybe something as simple as an old-skool bottle opener mounted to the side might help you fly your homebrew flag high. It will surely be a conversation-starter; from there you can steer the conversation toward your hobby.
Ike