Funny things you've overheard about beer

[Fishin-Jay]

No such thing a stupid question in my mind!

My grad adviser said that to me once. So I asked her "if you put a black bear and a silver back gorilla in a cage and poked them with sticks to make them fight, which would win?" She amended her previous assertion.

 

[cpl-america]

My grad adviser said that to me once. So I asked her "if you put a black bear and a silver back gorilla in a cage and poked them with sticks to make them fight, which would win?" She amended her previous assertion.

My money is on the gorilla.

 

[Subsailor]

My grad adviser said that to me once. So I asked her "if you put a black bear and a silver back gorilla in a cage and poked them with sticks to make them fight, which would win?" She amended her previous assertion.

How sharp are the sticks...nevermind...doesn't matter. I'd shoot 'em both, I've eaten bear and like it, might as well try gorilla.

 

[cpl-america]

How sharp are the sticks...nevermind...doesn't matter. I'd shoot 'em both, I've eaten bear and like it, might as well try gorilla.

I would wait until after the fight, nothing like self tendering dinner.

 

[MaxStout]

My grad adviser said that to me once. So I asked her "if you put a black bear and a silver back gorilla in a cage and poked them with sticks to make them fight, which would win?" She amended her previous assertion.

OK...waiting for the punchline....

 

[DrunkleJon]

The prairie dog that grabs both of their equipment and stashes them in their warrens wins. There is very little that can beat the crafty one.

 

[BeerGrylls]

OK...waiting for the punchline....

It's a trick question! They both gang up on the dumb sumbitch pokin' a gorilla and a bear with a stick!

 

[troy2000]

No such thing a stupid question in my mind!

I'm going to have to side with Fishin-Jay on this one; there are stupid questions. Although not asking a question because you're afraid you'll sound stupid is even stupider, a lot of the time....

But the questions that bother me are what I call lazy questions: people who come online wanting to be totally spoon-fed. They ask questions that they could answer themselves with a little research - expecting someone else to do the heavy lifting for them, and sum everything up in an easy to read and understand Cliff Notes version.

As a hypothetical (but not too far fetched) example, I can easily imagine someone coming on HBT and asking, "what is a three-tier system? Is it a good way to brew? How can I build one?"

My answer would be, "google is your friend." Because all the information he's asking for is already at his fingertips; he shouldn't be leaning on other people to repackage it and sum it up for him.

 

[day_trippr]

[...]As a hypothetical (but not too far fetched) example, I can easily imagine someone coming on HBT and asking, "what is a three-tier system? Is it a good way to brew? How can I build one?"
[...]

"Hypothetical"?

You need to read more.
It's like herding cats in here...

Cheers!

 

[ChshreCat]

There's a gag I like to do when I have guests:
Me: "You wanna beer?"
Guest: "Sure!"
Me: They're in the fridge...get me one too."

It's not beer related but I pulled a similar one at work. I got up to put on my coat and said "I'm going to the other side of campus to put away that flat screen and laptop we set up this morning. Anybody wanna go?" One of the guys said sure and got up and put on his coat. So I said, "Well, since you're going to do it..." took my coat off and sat back down.

I let him stand there for about 10 seconds before I went with him.

 

[GuldTuborg]

But the questions that bother me are what I call lazy questions: people who come online wanting to be totally spoon-fed. They ask questions that they could answer themselves with a little research - expecting someone else to do the heavy lifting for them, and sum everything up in an easy to read and understand Cliff Notes version.

While I don't deny there are some examples of this, it's helpful to keep in mind that there is a lot of completely bogus information on the internet. When you're new to a hobby, subject, whatever, it's often helpful to have someone in the know help you sort the good information (especially the stuff that's targeted at beginners) from the BS.

 

[skitamofo]

There's a gag I like to do when I have guests:
Me: "You wanna beer?"
Guest: "Sure!"
Me: They're in the fridge...get me one too."

Father in law does that all the time. Worst part is his beer fridge is downstairs.

 

[troy2000]

While I don't deny there are some examples of this, it's helpful to keep in mind that there is a lot of completely bogus information on the internet. When you're new to a hobby, subject, whatever, it's often helpful to have someone in the know help you sort the good information (especially the stuff that's targeted at beginners) from the BS.

I agree, to a point. But then again... if you haven't done at least a little homework, how do you sort out those 'in the know' from the blow-hards?

I was working on a Winchester '94 lever action with a hair-trigger problem once, and posted a question about the compatibility of sears between early models and modern ones. The first response I got was long, detailed, confident - and competely wrong.

 

[fuzzy2133]

At the store yesterday and noticed one of the staff taking one of the IPA's off the shelf.

Me: So whats up is that bottle is it not selling?
Her: No, my manager said it needs to come off the shelfs because it is expired. We have had it since the beginning of summer.
Me: Uh, just so you are aware beer takes longer than that to go bad.
Her: Oh, ok. And walks away.

I was really tempted to grab a couple bottles except it was a brewery I never heard of with a address in Fairfield and my first thought was the AB facility.

 

[GuldTuborg]

I agree, to a point. But then again... if you haven't done at least a little homework, how do you sort out those 'in the know' from the blow-hards?

I was working on a Winchester '94 lever action with a hair-trigger problem once, and posted a question about the compatibility of sears between early models and modern ones. The first response I got was long, detailed, confident - and competely wrong.

Point well taken. The best we can do is appeal to a larger community, and hope those in the know can offer better reasons for believing them. That's why I prefer the immediate feedback of a forum, whether written or in person. It's far from perfect, but it might be the best we have.

 

[troy2000]

Point well taken. The best we can do is appeal to a larger community, and hope those in the know can offer better reasons for believing them. That's why I prefer the immediate feedback of a forum, whether written or in person. It's far from perfect, but it might be the best we have.

My main defense against internet bs is that I happen to be a very fast reader (I was a bookworm as a kid). In the time it takes most people to read a post or article online I've not only read it, but I've read half a dozen others as well. And I tend to approach online posts the same way I used to approach construction bids - throw out the high bid, throw out the low bid, study what's left.

In other words, I usually look for some sort of consensus. If there is none, or if it disagrees with my personal experience or what I want to believe, then I settle down and start doing some serious research.

 

[midfielder5]

At the store yesterday and noticed one of the staff taking one of the IPA's off the shelf.

Me: So whats up is that bottle is it not selling?
Her: No, my manager said it needs to come off the shelfs because it is expired. We have had it since the beginning of summer.
Me: Uh, just so you are aware beer takes longer than that to go bad.
Her: Oh, ok. And walks away.

The really good IPA's are best drunk fresh. You have probably seen Stone's Enjoy By ##/##/13. The date is 6 or so weeks from bottling. So I don't think there was anything wrong with removing 3+ month old IPA from the shelf. Same with Pliny, Heady, etc. I agree it is not "bad" or expired but t is no longer a great beer as the hop aroma and flavor have faded.

 

[cpl-america]

There's a gag I like to do when I have guests:
Me: "You wanna beer?"
Guest: "Sure!"
Me: They're in the fridge...get me one too."

We use the sensuous rule in our home.

Me: "is that a spider in your lap?"
Wife jumps off the couch.
" where is it?"
Me: "idk, but since -you- is up. . Can you pour me an ipa?"
Wife: rolls eyes and complies.

 

[bergen69]

We use the sensuous rule in our home.

Me: "is that a spider in your lap?"
Wife jumps off the couch.
" where is it?"
Me: "idk, but since -you- is up. . Can you pour me an ipa?"
Wife: rolls eyes and complies.

I call B.S. on the 'compiles' part of that post!

 

[WesleyS]

At the store yesterday and noticed one of the staff taking one of the IPA's off the shelf.

Me: So whats up is that bottle is it not selling?
Her: No, my manager said it needs to come off the shelfs because it is expired. We have had it since the beginning of summer.
Me: Uh, just so you are aware beer takes longer than that to go bad.
Her: Oh, ok. And walks away.

I was really tempted to grab a couple bottles except it was a brewery I never heard of with a address in Fairfield and my first thought was the AB facility.

I wish they would do that at some of the stores around here. I've seen bottles of old IPA on the shelf quite a bit. If its almost any other style it wouldn't be bad to keep it out. But it's ridiculous to keep on the shelf an $8+ bomber of IPA that has little chance of much hop flavor or aroma left.
I hate all the "well actually" posts in this thread, but I'm going to have to say it.
Well, actually, they were doing the right thing by removing old bottles of IPA off the shelf. Although the beer isn't bad, the hop character(which is what makes an IPA what it is) has likely faded and the beer no longer tastes how it was intended to. I've been burned by some old IPAs so I actually appreciate what that store was doing.

 

[BigDaddyBeard]

I wish they would do that at some of the stores around here. I've seen bottles of old IPA on the shelf quite a bit. If its almost any other style it wouldn't be bad to keep it out. But it's ridiculous to keep on the shelf an $8+ bomber of IPA that has little chance of much hop flavor or aroma left. I hate all the "well actually" posts in this thread, but I'm going to have to say it. Well, actually, they were doing the right thing by removing old bottles of IPA off the shelf. Although the beer isn't bad, the hop character(which is what makes an IPA what it is) has likely faded and the beer no longer tastes how it was intended to. I've been burned by some old IPAs so I actually appreciate what that store was doing.

+1 on that. My bottle shop has double jack that is old and I am in the mood for some, but can't put down the dough on something past it's prime

 

[BreezyBrew]

I wish they would do that at some of the stores around here. I've seen bottles of old IPA on the shelf quite a bit. If its almost any other style it wouldn't be bad to keep it out. But it's ridiculous to keep on the shelf an $8+ bomber of IPA that has little chance of much hop flavor or aroma left.
I hate all the "well actually" posts in this thread, but I'm going to have to say it.
Well, actually, they were doing the right thing by removing old bottles of IPA off the shelf. Although the beer isn't bad, the hop character(which is what makes an IPA what it is) has likely faded and the beer no longer tastes how it was intended to. I've been burned by some old IPAs so I actually appreciate what that store was doing.

This is probably the biggest gripe I have in craft beer. If I'm going to shell out a good amount of money for a craft beer, it needs to be fresh. Lately, I don't even bother with IPAs because there's a good chance they are old. I do get them if they are on tap.

There really needs to be more education going on with craft beer stores. I balk at the ones touting 500 beers or so since many of them aren't going to be fresh. When is the industry going to learn to put dates on bottles and stores take stuff off the shelf. Beer is like milk for fooks sake, nobody drinks milk past the date on the carton!

/rant off

Sorry about the not funny post I didn't overhear but that **** really chaps my ass when I waste $10 on a meh bomber.

 

[BigDaddyBeard]

$10 I wish! Thanks to my wonderful state, with tax, Double Jack is $15

 

[PurdyGood]

I got some Sierra Nevada Torpedo on sale the other day. I figured out why it was on sale pretty quickly. Now I have to finish a whole case of it. Way past its prime. Not overheard, but kinda funny, like point your finger and laugh at me.

 

[hellawaits77]

I wish they would do that at some of the stores around here. I've seen bottles of old IPA on the shelf quite a bit. If its almost any other style it wouldn't be bad to keep it out. But it's ridiculous to keep on the shelf an $8+ bomber of IPA that has little chance of much hop flavor or aroma left.
I hate all the "well actually" posts in this thread, but I'm going to have to say it.
Well, actually, they were doing the right thing by removing old bottles of IPA off the shelf. Although the beer isn't bad, the hop character(which is what makes an IPA what it is) has likely faded and the beer no longer tastes how it was intended to. I've been burned by some old IPAs so I actually appreciate what that store was doing.

+2 on that.

 

[hellawaits77]

Sorry about the not funny post I didn't overhear but that **** really chaps my ass when I waste $10 on a meh bomber.

Dude I'm with you. I'm absolutely done buying expensive bombers. Just not worth the $ when there are plenty of great bombers in my area for $5-$6.

 

[fuzzy2133]

The really good IPA's are best drunk fresh. You have probably seen Stone's Enjoy By ##/##/13. The date is 6 or so weeks from bottling. So I don't think there was anything wrong with removing 3+ month old IPA from the shelf. Same with Pliny, Heady, etc. I agree it is not "bad" or expired but t is no longer a great beer as the hop aroma and flavor have faded.

I wish they would do that at some of the stores around here. I've seen bottles of old IPA on the shelf quite a bit. If its almost any other style it wouldn't be bad to keep it out. But it's ridiculous to keep on the shelf an $8+ bomber of IPA that has little chance of much hop flavor or aroma left.
I hate all the "well actually" posts in this thread, but I'm going to have to say it.
Well, actually, they were doing the right thing by removing old bottles of IPA off the shelf. Although the beer isn't bad, the hop character(which is what makes an IPA what it is) has likely faded and the beer no longer tastes how it was intended to. I've been burned by some old IPAs so I actually appreciate what that store was doing.

+1 on that. My bottle shop has double jack that is old and I am in the mood for some, but can't put down the dough on something past it's prime

This is probably the biggest gripe I have in craft beer. If I'm going to shell out a good amount of money for a craft beer, it needs to be fresh. Lately, I don't even bother with IPAs because there's a good chance they are old. I do get them if they are on tap.

There really needs to be more education going on with craft beer stores. I balk at the ones touting 500 beers or so since many of them aren't going to be fresh. When is the industry going to learn to put dates on bottles and stores take stuff off the shelf. Beer is like milk for fooks sake, nobody drinks milk past the date on the carton!

/rant off

I do agree with all of you. Hind sight being 20/20 I do not remember seeing a date of when the stuff was bottled (assume spring time?).

One day I will get a couple bottles of Enjoy By even though I am not a big IPA fan.

 

[gometz]

This is probably the biggest gripe I have in craft beer. If I'm going to shell out a good amount of money for a craft beer, it needs to be fresh. Lately, I don't even bother with IPAs because there's a good chance they are old. I do get them if they are on tap.

There really needs to be more education going on with craft beer stores. I balk at the ones touting 500 beers or so since many of them aren't going to be fresh. When is the industry going to learn to put dates on bottles and stores take stuff off the shelf. Beer is like milk for fooks sake, nobody drinks milk past the date on the carton!

/rant off

Sorry about the not funny post I didn't overhear but that **** really chaps my ass when I waste $10 on a meh bomber.

It's funny I read this today, because I became REALLY aware of it last night. Bought a bomber of Union Jack to drink with the fiancee at dinner, but hung out with a friend before she got home. Just so happened he had a sixer of Union Jack, so we had some of that.

His sixer: bottled 11/4/13, my bomber: 10/7/13. Holy crap could you tell a difference in how delicious the aroma was on the fresher bottles!

 

[DLR1987]

+1 for freshness, especially when it comes to new craft beer drinkers. A lot of them are unaware of the importance of freshness with ipas and lower alcohol beers (>7% in my opinion).

Story time!

I just started working at my LHBS as a second job. We have 13 taps as well and every Friday night there is a guy who comes in and is really new to craft beer. As much as he is enjoying trying all of these new beers, he always tells me that no matter what, he'll never be able to drink Guinness because it's so "heavy" (as he's drinking Oskar Blues Old Chub). As a side note, we've never had and never will have Guinness on tap at the shop or in bottles or cans for that matter.

 

[cpl-america]

I call B.S. on the 'compiles' part of that post!

Lol, it totally works, but it has to be a two way street, if she gets me to stand up, I'll refill her wine. Or if noone is falling for it, rock paper scissors .