Epic Poem

[Denny's Evil Concoctions]

OK, we had a short story. How about a epic poem?

There once was a man named Stu,
who loved to brew fine beers...

 

[Chairman Cheyco]

One day he was stuck in ole 'frisco
were he met some very fine ....

steers..

 

[Sir Sudster]

..With steak on his plate

He grinned at the fate
of the belligerent Calgary queers...:rockin:

 

[Sasquatch]

The Very Deeps did Rot "O Christ
That ever this should be..."

 

[sudsmonkey]

That anyone should chance to meet
as foul a wretch as me

 

[Sir Sudster]

with outreached hand..
..How ya doin ,Man!
excuse me but I gotta pee....

 

[sudsmonkey]

Well, Stu , it seems , was not content

To brew his beer and pay the rent.

He came up with a super plan.
and went to see the banker man.

 

[Truble]

Alas the banker, while warm to the plan,
held the idea to the hot frying pan
"Why should I back this flimsy endevour
when I have no guarantee on return from you ever?

Surely I would be able to sing all your praises,
And I would like to be the one that works and he raises
the capital you seek, for the plan it is capital,
But I need to to describe you plan, and the process,
to map it all...

Out on the whiteboard, so go back to your lab,
and get me the documents that I may grab
and take to the loan partner without any fear,
and if you get a chance, can you bring me some beer?

 

[sudsmonkey]

So off he ran, set off in a tizzy
To scrounge up a beer both yellow and fizzy.
A materials list and a bus i ness plan
All to take back to the big banker man.

 

[Sasquatch]

...When out on the lawn
There arose such a clatter...

 

[Sir Sudster]

Oh! don't mind me Sir
I'm just relieving my bladder.

 

[Truble]

So on Pale Ale
on Lager
on Sweet Stout
on Weissen

Run to the lab
but be sure to be nice and
stop for the reds and go forth for the greens
(now if you do not mind, I'll delete some long scenes)

Alas at the shop I could not find a pen,
Though a buddy stopped by and asked if I can
Tap the big stout I had been bragging about?
I said I was busy;he started to pout...

 

[Sasquatch]

It's the Homebrewers' cross
That we all have to bear
Our friends all come begging
for a taste of our wares

But we like it, in truth,
Cuz in so many ways...

 

[Chairman Cheyco]

It makes us feel good
while maintaining the daze.

I'll digress no further,
and get to the point...

 

[Sasquatch]

but just hang on while
I roll up this joint...

 

[Chairman Cheyco]

Is this still digressing?
I can no longer tell...
At the thought of fresh Homebrew,
I'm beginning to swell.

 

[Sir Sudster]

So we stand back in amazement
enough to be clear
of that swelling your feeling
will soon pass through your rear.

 

[Sasquatch]

"Not my rear!" quoth Sasquatch,
"I'm not that kind of beast."
"You'd think maybe a guy'd get
a drink bought, at least."

 

[Chairman Cheyco]

Fear not my dear Sasquatch,
It won't hurt a bit.
It's been done before,
t'was ether which hit.

 

[Sasquatch]

Quoth the Sasquatch "Nevermore."

 

[The Happy Mug]

An onlooker caught of by surprise,
by the audacity of you guys...
"'Tis more than I can believe,
or hath my eyes been decieved?"

 

[Sasquatch]

Quoth the Sasquatch "Nevermore."

 

[The Happy Mug]

And yet I demand a reply, and ask with clear voice
For insight and response in relation to thine choice
And yet thee sit there at my window rapping,
and threaten upon my garden to be crapping
To respond with such a voice as a hairy boar,

 

[Sasquatch]

Quoth the Sasquatch "Pass some paper, man, I made a helluva pile out here. Nevermore."

 

[The Happy Mug]

I fumed as I picked up the scooper,
upset at that hairy-ass pooper,
I can't believe we've turned to Poe,
is it what we started with? No,
The truth is while I laughed myself sick,
Our poem was supposed to be epic.

Such a distraction the gods have sent,
all of which my attention was spent,
while the beer had flowed down the drain,
only one determined thought entered my brain.
So with turpentine and flint, I set the garden ablaze,
I had work to do, to travel and save my ale from hades.

 

[The Happy Mug]

My pride behind me I asked for his help,
Though compared to its size my voice was a yelp
I explained my plight, my reason for flight
with a disgruntled tone, an irritated moan,

 

[Sir Sudster]

..Wake up Stu
You have much to do.
the Banker will not tolerate tardy.
Wake from your dream ..Sounded Hairy . I mean!
The Bankers expecting a party.

 

[The Happy Mug]

Stu's plan was together, albeit not neat,
He started with the haste of his feet
Time he had so lost, looking for a pen,
odd dreams of talking steins and hairy men
Must make it in time, he had slept through four
and made before the bank closed the door

 

[sudsmonkey]

When out in the lobby , there arose such a clatter-
The banker flew from his office to see what was the matter-
And what , to his beady banker eyes should appear?
Stu ! With some papers and a kegfull of beer !







( Please forgive me )

 

[Sir Sudster]

Come in to my office
let's discuss whats so dear.
I have checked your references
and theres a few details to clear.
Mug was quite clear, you make excellent beer
but Sasquatch refused to reply.
Cheyco I guess, severly digressed
wandered off with that hairy guy.