Drunken Wisdom

Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum

Help Support Homebrew Talk:

S-Met

Department of Redundancy Department.
Lifetime Supporter
Joined
Jan 15, 2018
Messages
4,991
Reaction score
4,994
Location
Nor Cal
Sometimes the obvious does not seem obvious after a few too many drinks. The kind of place where you share things that may have been preceded with statements like:

It seemed like a good idea at the time...

Or

Hey y'all watch this...
 
OP
S

S-Met

Department of Redundancy Department.
Lifetime Supporter
Joined
Jan 15, 2018
Messages
4,991
Reaction score
4,994
Location
Nor Cal
Don't Pee into the Wind

Make sure the wind is to your back and always be sure your beer cup is a safe distance. You don't want to accidentally kick it over when you turn around.
 

Sailingeric

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution
Joined
Oct 30, 2014
Messages
1,909
Reaction score
1,902
Location
Aloha, Oregon
Don't Pee into the Wind

Make sure the wind is to your back and always be sure your beer cup is a safe distance. You don't want to accidentally kick it over when you turn around.
We heed this advice a lot when sailing. Even though it is a little hard, always pee to leeward, not to windward.
 

Br3w4u

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 26, 2016
Messages
1,170
Reaction score
509
Location
Oklahoma
When approached with the phrase “Hey smell this!” always say no.
 

Kwitty

Supporting Member
HBT Supporter
Joined
Jan 22, 2014
Messages
307
Reaction score
108
Location
Erie
In a bar's men's room the "5 second rule" does NOT apply! For the record, I was a witness not a participant. [emoji16]
 

bpgreen

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2010
Messages
750
Reaction score
186
Location
Utah
When approached with the phrase “Hey smell this!” always say no.
Many years ago, I worked in a restaurant. They decided to try a new cheese sauce. My co-worker offered a spoonful to me and said, "try this. It's the new cheese sauce. It tastes like [email protected]&#"

I wouldn't try it and he laughed. He then said there was nothing wrong with it but I should watch everybody's reaction.

Everybody else tasted it and said it tasted like [email protected]&#. Just on the power of suggestion. They changed back to the old supplier for the next order.
 

Br3w4u

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 26, 2016
Messages
1,170
Reaction score
509
Location
Oklahoma
Oh man there are about a million things that you should never do drunk! There are about a million other things that you should do drunk though!
 
OP
S

S-Met

Department of Redundancy Department.
Lifetime Supporter
Joined
Jan 15, 2018
Messages
4,991
Reaction score
4,994
Location
Nor Cal
Shaving, especially if you use a blade, is never a good idea after a few too many. Not too fun whe you're hung over either.
 

Br3w4u

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 26, 2016
Messages
1,170
Reaction score
509
Location
Oklahoma
At least wear a 1/2 apron or your undies. Bacon splatters tickle the hands but stings the hell out of the naughty bits.
My beer belly saved the good parts. Still wasn’t fun but hey beer bellies can be good for something!
 

kh54s10

Supporting Member
HBT Supporter
Joined
Aug 6, 2011
Messages
18,746
Reaction score
5,484
Location
Edgewater
If you are into that sort of things a good beer belly can keep the privates from getting sunburned. I would have to be drunk for this scenario.
 

Br3w4u

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 26, 2016
Messages
1,170
Reaction score
509
Location
Oklahoma
If you are into that sort of things a good beer belly can keep the privates from getting sunburned. I would have to be drunk for this scenario.
If I could do it without becoming a registered sex offender I would wear my birthday suit in my back yard every time! I live in a suburb though and have a chain link fence. I’m also a block away from a school so that would be very bad! Oh yeah not to mention those mosquito bites would be the worst!
 

boxboybrewing

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 30, 2018
Messages
67
Reaction score
80
Do not go shopping on Amazon after the first drink. When a bunch of packages start showing up and you dont remember what it could possibly be...
 

Murphys_Law

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 1, 2015
Messages
1,378
Reaction score
1,065
Location
Denver area
Do not go shopping on Amazon after the first drink. When a bunch of packages start showing up and you dont remember what it could possibly be...
I have a 15g Bayou kettle in my garage that I never use. Bought after “drunk shopping”. Seemed like a good idea at the time!
 

Velnerj

Simul justus et potator
Joined
Jul 27, 2017
Messages
443
Reaction score
710
Location
Czech Republic
Don't make a phone call or text anyone unless you know the number by memory.

If you can't remember the number you're too drunk, if you don't have the number in your memory they're not that close to you and will be offended or at least weirded out.
 
Last edited:
OP
S

S-Met

Department of Redundancy Department.
Lifetime Supporter
Joined
Jan 15, 2018
Messages
4,991
Reaction score
4,994
Location
Nor Cal
Remember what close you are wearing while wearing them. Don't forget either.
Try and avoid wearing hoods. I thought some @sshole was standing right behind me half the night. I kept looking over my shoulder all night looking for him beause I'd hear something behind me and catch a shadow out of the corner of my eye.

Then I realized 2 key points. The shadow out of the corner of my eye was my hood and the @sshole behind me talking was my own. Damn @sshole had bad breath too!
 
Top