I had a drunk dial land my ass in court once. One night at a bar someone used my phone to call someone I will refer to as D. They dialed the phone & handed it to me. I was wasted, but knew enuf to look & see who was being called. Let me just say that D is about as crazy/insane as they come, and the # was only in my phone so I would know not to answer when D called. I hung up immediately & D called right back demanding to know whom had called.
I pretended to be a recruiter working for an agency in D's profession. I merely stated that D's# had been randomly called & routed to my phone--luck of the draw or something like that. I didn't offer anything fraudulent, I merely suggested D check out the company's website & see if there were any jobs D would be interested in taking. It's a totally legit website w/ lots of job listings.
Again, I offered nothing but a website to explore. Everybody at the bar thought it was frickin hilarious.
D called me about 5 times more that night trying to catch me in a lie, and I stuck to the telemarketer-recruiter thing like glue. I even changed the voicemail message on my phone in case I missed a call. Quite honestly it got pretty annoying. Constant phone calls asking the same stupid questions day and f-ing night. In case you haven't picked up on it yet, D isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the box.
Anyhow, one afternoon D calls and I've had enough. It went kinda like this:
Me: Yeah?!! (as rudely as possible)
D: Bob???
ME: YYYuupp
D: If you ever---( I hung up)
D called a few more times to chew my ass, and each time I hung up. I was glad to be done with it.
About a month later uniformed officers came to visit me at work, serving me my court papers for "adult abuse and stalking." That's right I said at work, in front of all my coworkers. That was a fun one to explain.
A week later I'm having thanksgiving dinner w/ my parents & there is a knock at the door. This time it was the sheriff's department. I was served with exact duplicates of the same paperwork, this time in front of my entire family. Apparently there was some dispute as to which branch of law enforcement was more appropriate to serve me papers.
Mind you I only called this freak
one time. And I didn't even dial the phone. I wasn't peddling falsehoods or promising jobs that didn't exist, I was simply saying, "Hey, have a look at this website."
The court date came, and I showed up in a suit w/ my phone records in hand. That (
insert profanity here) wasn't going to take me easily.
The judge was a woman, so I really felt like I was screwed. People hear those words "adult abuse", and they just assume you're at fault.
Lucky me, D didn't show up for our court date. Are you kidding me??? WTF??? After all of the public humiliation & embarrassment I went thru, this person, (
I use the term loosely), didn't even have the brass to show up in court.
Long story short, if some A-hole ever grabs my phone again and starts dialing, I'm gonna go Chuck Norris on their ass.
