Do I quit or suck it up?

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PirateBrewer

PirateBrewer

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Joined
Sep 17, 2010
Messages
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Location
Washington, DC
So, what’s a guy to do when he hates his job, gets absolutely nothing out of it, is living in an area that is quite expensive, has little to no friends in the area but gets paid enough to afford his nearly $75K student loans?

That’s my current situation! I moved to DC about a year ago to be closer to my now ex-girlfriend (thus me losing any friends I had made through her). I got my job as a government contractor through my ex-girlfriend’s dad. My degree is in Entertainment Management which clearly has nothing to do with where I am. I honestly don’t think I could walk into an interview anywhere (not just an entertainment company) and say I’ve gained any new skills from my current job. I’ve been applying for new jobs since the summer but have had no luck at all.

Do I quit? Do I suck it up and just live an unhappy, lonely life? Do I just ride it out and hope for the best? I know I shouldn’t be complaining because of the fact that I have a job but I feel like this job is leading me nowhere fast. I’d say the worst part of it all is the fact that my student loans basically dictate everything in my life. I would have quit and moved long ago regardless of whether or not I had a job in a new place if I didn’t have those loans hanging over my head

This is more of a rant to get this off my chest but feel free to share your thoughts or experiences that you may have regarding situations like this. It’s tough to be young and out in the real world in today’s day and age even with a job, especially one you hate!
 
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain
 
In times like this its hard to complain about having a job even if its a crappy one. I say suck it up.
 
Everybody is different, but if you hate your job, I'd keep looking and looking. I don't think quitting is going to improve your situation since it sounds like your loans are in the way.

But definitely keep working on getting out.

I feel for you. Being that close to all those politicians would be unbearable to me too!
 
Yeah, the loans are probably the most difficult part of the situation as they really hold me back. I really have no choice but to stay so I can pay for them. Too bad college degrees weren't like consumer commodities! I'd definitely return mine!

Being in DC has totally made me realize that our government is ridiculously lazy and the reason we have such a deficit is probably because all these lazy agencies hire contractors to do their work for them!

I'll definitely keep looking and hope for the best. Sometimes it just gets tough and discouraging doing something you don't like while feeling like you're not getting anything out of it.

I appreciate you all listening! :mug:
 
You need to go out of your way to culivate a support group. ie friends. Look for areas where people your own age hang out. Talk to the people in your brew club about where the action is. Throw a brew party. Look online for happenings in your area. Travel outside your comfort zone.

Who says friends made thru her are off limits? Contact them, see if they still want to hang out. I say give it a bit more time, pay off those college loans and save a bit of money, then if you still want to move, go for it!

There is tons of stuff to do and places to go in DC, my brother use to live in the area. So get out and do it, walk the streets if you have to, just get out of the apartment. Got a dog? Walk it, go to a dog park. No dog? Go to the pet stores to look around, go to the store, just go.

You getting my drift, here? I lived in the small little town for almost twenty years before I made any friends here. Had friends in the city but not in my little town UNTIL I decided to get involved taking a local class, now I got friends I can really count on.

Spread your wings, son, fly into the wind!!
 
The American Way ~1950s style = work your ass off for your family and get a gold watch

The American Way ~2010s style = rack up as much debt as you can then get bailed out

:D
 
gungadin said:
Don't quit until you've found something else. Suck it up.
Click to expand...

+1

If you can't find a job why would you leave one? Think you have it tough now?


Just remember there will be many tough times in your life and you will get through all of them, this is just one of them.
 
Hokie_Brewer said:
There are plenty of us 20-something homebrewers in the DC area!

(one here at least)
Click to expand...

The local homebrew club and my 3 bandmates have been my saving grace friendwise but I definitely don't hang out with enough homebrewers! I gotta get on that!

Thanks for the words and advice, everyone. It definitely does mean a lot. I know I can't quit and I hate that I probably sound ungrateful because I am definitely not but sometimes you just gotta vent, ya know? I do believe that everything happens for a reason so hopefully this is just a stepping stone to bigger and better things!
 
PirateBrewer said:
I do believe that everything happens for a reason so hopefully this is just a stepping stone to bigger and better things!
Click to expand...

Nail, meet head. Being able to stick it out when the going really sucks is something employers (and potential spouses) will look for when you are interviewing later...
 
Get involved in your local clubs, find a local sports league and pay some games, and keep looking for that job that makes you happy (because that can be a lifelong process anyway). Don't quit a job when you're having a hard time finding a replacement though, because being unemployed is a *****.
 
You should report back in 6 months, maybe a year and let us know how you are making out. If you are doing good you can thank us for our support.....if not, well, I don't recall ever having this conversation. :D
 
I was in a very similar situation this last semester in college. You can't make changes overnight but you can do as much as possible to make your situation better, and if your efforts don't bear fruit, then realize that perhaps this is just a difficult time in your life and eventually things will change.

One thing that helped me--learn to be self-sufficient. Nothing affects you unless you let it. Go out by yourself. Learn to be your own best friend. Spend your free time learning useful skills or reading non-fiction. You already have a good hobby, and you can always get better at it. No matter what happens, you always have yourself and you'd be surprised how strong your center is. No one can take that away from you.

I also live in the D.C. area. I'll be attending the Worthogs homebrew group next Wednesday in Reston for the first time. Maybe I'll see you there? My name's Jake. My AIM is contrarider if you ever want to talk.
 
PirateBrewer said:
I got my job as a government contractor through my ex-girlfriend’s dad. My degree is in Entertainment Management which clearly has nothing to do with where I am. I honestly don’t think I could walk into an interview anywhere (not just an entertainment company) and say I’ve gained any new skills from my current job. I’ve been applying for new jobs since the summer but have had no luck at all.
Click to expand...

Ha! I've been trying to get a job in govt. contracting for two years now without luck. It seems like you need to know someone in that business to get your foot in the door!

As such, I started my own landscaping buisness to pay off the bills and student loans. It works, but I pretty much hate it. :cross:
 
If you hate your job and have nothing to do, why not moonlight to create your own dream job? I assume a degree in Entertainment Management has something to do with booking bands or similar? Start a talent agency on the side. If it takes off, you can brush off the old job and live the dream. If it doesn't work out, you are sure to meet interesting people and have an interesting time.

And don't say, "But I don't know anything about..." You think Billy Mays was a chemist before he started pitching Oxy clean? Think Ron Popeil knew anything about food preservation before pitching the vacuum food saver? Think George Foreman knew anything about eating...OK, forget that one. You get the point.
 
Wow, thank you ALL for the support! It DEFINITELY lifted my spirits! :mug:

jgln said:
You should report back in 6 months, maybe a year and let us know how you are making out. If you are doing good you can thank us for our support.....if not, well, I don't recall ever having this conversation. :D
Click to expand...

Haha will do! I should hopefully be in a much better place as long as I'm continually proactive and positive about the process! I won't hold it against anyone if I'm still in the same place, though ;)

rexbanner said:
I was in a very similar situation this last semester in college. You can't make changes overnight but you can do as much as possible to make your situation better, and if your efforts don't bear fruit, then realize that perhaps this is just a difficult time in your life and eventually things will change.

One thing that helped me--learn to be self-sufficient. Nothing affects you unless you let it. Go out by yourself. Learn to be your own best friend. Spend your free time learning useful skills or reading non-fiction. You already have a good hobby, and you can always get better at it. No matter what happens, you always have yourself and you'd be surprised how strong your center is. No one can take that away from you.

I also live in the D.C. area. I'll be attending the Worthogs homebrew group next Wednesday in Reston for the first time. Maybe I'll see you there? My name's Jake. My AIM is contrarider if you ever want to talk.
Click to expand...

Nice to meet you, Jake. Thanks for the kind words. I've never been to a Worthogs meetings so I'm definitely interested. Usually I have band practice on Wednesday nights but I think one of our members will be out of town. How can I get more info on the meeting next week?

I had to learn to become self-sufficient pretty fast after my girlfriend and I broke up. I learned to cook for myself, be able to go out and do things alone, and really live life for me. It's definitely been a very freeing experience..next step is making more friends in the area :D

bierhaus15 said:
Ha! I've been trying to get a job in govt. contracting for two years now without luck. It seems like you need to know someone in that business to get your foot in the door!

As such, I started my own landscaping buisness to pay off the bills and student loans. It works, but I pretty much hate it. :cross:
Click to expand...

Haha government contracting is interesting to say the least. It definitely has it's pros and cons. There's a lot of money to be made and if you don't like always doing the same thing it's good because you have different contracts you can be put on.

Conversely, the second you don't have a contract, you're stuck wondering if the company will let you go. Also, you never really get a chance to really develop your skills since you may be moving around so much. One contract you might be doing finance and the next marketing.

GVH_Dan said:
If you hate your job and have nothing to do, why not moonlight to create your own dream job? I assume a degree in Entertainment Management has something to do with booking bands or similar? Start a talent agency on the side. If it takes off, you can brush off the old job and live the dream. If it doesn't work out, you are sure to meet interesting people and have an interesting time.

And don't say, "But I don't know anything about..." You think Billy Mays was a chemist before he started pitching Oxy clean? Think Ron Popeil knew anything about food preservation before pitching the vacuum food saver? Think George Foreman knew anything about eating...OK, forget that one. You get the point.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I would definitely like to do something more along the lines of entertainment marketing/media relations. I can definitely just start small with my own band and doing our own PR stuff and then see if I can expand to other local bands. That's definitely a good thought that I never really thought to do. Thanks for planting that seed in my head!!
 
Good gravy, am I the only one advising departure?

I was one step above a hobo right after college. 20 some years later I still see this as one of my better decisions.

Pick some place you want to visit and go there. Get a job washing dishes until you can find something better. Read some Nietzsche while you're at it.
 
I think John Prine said it best when he sang....

Blow up your TV. Throw away the paper. Move to the country. Build you a home. Plant a little garden. Eat a lot of peaches. Try and find Jesus...on your own.

Quit your ****ty job.

I work a 26K a year job. I'm a maintenence man at a lodge. I bring my dogs to work and make my own schedule. Twice a week I have to hike/ski to our backcountry property 4 miles each way. I live in the rural Adirondacks. I don't have much spare cash once the bills are paid. I'm happier than yeast in wort!
 
arturo7 said:
Good gravy, am I the only one advising departure?

I was one step above a hobo right after college. 20 some years later I still see this as one of my better decisions.

Pick some place you want to visit and go there. Get a job washing dishes until you can find something better. Read some Nietzsche while you're at it.
Click to expand...

KayaBrew said:
I think John Prine said it best when he sang....

Blow up your TV. Throw away the paper. Move to the country. Build you a home. Plant a little garden. Eat a lot of peaches. Try and find Jesus...on your own.

Quit your ****ty job.

I work a 26K a year job. I'm a maintenence man at a lodge. I bring my dogs to work and make my own schedule. Twice a week I have to hike/ski to our backcountry property 4 miles each way. I live in the rural Adirondacks. I don't have much spare cash once the bills are paid. I'm happier than yeast in wort!
Click to expand...

I honestly wish I could just do this. I'd love to live in a bunch of cities...never have to stay more than a year or two. When my student loan payments alone are nearly $1,000 a month I just can't afford to.

I'm actually from Long Island and went up to the Catskills once (and have driven through the Adirondacks) and it's just absolutely gorgeous up there. I'd love to return and make a life for myself there someday!

ShakerD said:
Sounds like you just need some action to get your mind off of things.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/
http://www.eharmony.com/
Click to expand...

What? Craigslist dating isn't good enough? ;)
 
I don't advocate dereliction of your responsibilities, but I'm sure you wouldn't be the first graduate to miss a few payments while looking for a job.
 
Stick it out until something better comes along-think of what you are doing as "paid school". And, something's wrong if you are lonely in DC-I'm an old married fawt, but DC and Alexandria area-you should have a smorgasboard of intelligent, educated, and well paid gals to choose from. Heck, what is the Irish bar in Alexandria, near the hotel Monaco? Goodtimes!
 
I was in a similar spot a few years ago. I started my job absolutely loving it. After a change in management, I couldn't stand the place. There was one guy who was always happy/oblivious at work. After talking to him for a while, I realized that he's happy because he does what he likes at home. He just goes to work to do what he has to do to be happy at home. It's just work, man. So work the job, and in the meantime, look for the place you WANT to work at. Figure out what you need to do to get in the door and follow through. It may take a couple years, but it will happen if you're persistent.

You have a job, so you have that to be thankful of. What else are you thankful for? Besides brewing, what else do you do? Entertainment management - I'm assuming you like to see live music? Any local "hole in the wall" type places with live acts? If you decide to do any of that on the side, you'll need to start getting in with some owners as well as local acts. Start networking around those places. You might start to meet other people who frequent them as well.

Have a gym membership? Start going, but leave the spandex at home. Go to a bar and start having two minute conversations with random people. After the two minutes are up, decide if you like the person and talk more if you want. I did this to help me break out of my "shyness" shell. It really works and you start to realize that there are more people out there in the same situation than you will ever know.

You're not the only bored guy out there in a tough spot.
 
arturo7 said:
Good gravy, am I the only one advising departure?
Click to expand...

Just caught this thread or I would have replied the same way earlier.

The poster is not getting any younger and the longer he stays in a job that sucks the more it will eat away at him.

Sell anything you own, get yourself down to one suitcase, start searching the internet for a place you would like to live, and just buy a plane ticket and go.

Good luck and have fun while you are young.
 
Save up some cash. Quit crappy job. Move somewhere you want to live that has plenty hot chicks. Find a job doing something, anything. Get a deferment on your student loans if can't afford payment. Scrape, beg, borrow, steal. Date a bunch of hot chicks. Find some friends with common interest. Shouldn't be a problem if you brew beer. Why be certainly miserable there in DC when you could move somewhere else and have a chance of being stoked? Put your money on finding something good somewhere else. I dropped out of grad school and scraped by doing whatever I could until I landed my dream job. It can happen. Just let it.
 
iaefebs said:
The poster is not getting any younger and the longer he stays in a job that sucks the more it will eat away at him.
.
Click to expand...

That was/is my main reason for considering quitting. Not only do I think it will continue to eat away at me but whatever I skills I need to do what I want to do will be greatly diminished if I'm not working in my chosen industry.

The friends part of this all really isn't as bad as I may have made it out to be. Sure, I could definitely use more but I do have my bandmates. The friend thing is something I can definitely control.

I think sometimes I just come down on myself a little too hard. Like I said, I have about $75K in student loans and the fact that I'm not doing what I want makes me feel like I completely wasted my money.

I really do thank all of you for your advice and thoughts on the situation. I definitely have a lot of thinking to do about it all. I know I could be WAY worse off and shouldn't complain. I know in the end I'll do what's best for me and find ways to be happy. I really am grateful for all that I have, especially the awesome brethren/sisters of the homebrewing community :mug:
 
Quit. Sell everything. If you have no wife or kids, now is the time to explore this country's greatest gift: freedom.

Later in life, you'll be anchored to your job due to: mortgage, wife, kids (in college), bills, etc. Your choices will be limited to suck it, servitude, eat it, and die.

So, what you should do immediately is quit and drive to where you want to retire. Then find a job.
 
i am surprised govt contract doesnt have some sort of bailout for student loans. it wouldnt seem surprising if they did.

this is a good warning to college kids or those going to college. think really hard about whether the $100-200K party is worth it, and if you can really make a living out of your degree. i think for undergrad degrees,it makes little difference where you go, so find a state school or somewhere cheap... then get a job that will pay towards the grad degree if thats what you need/want.

an entire generation seems to be coming out of school and entering the workforce with a gigantic debt monkey on their back... immediately putting them in a bad situation. worst idea ever. save up and pay your way in cash... not only will it cost you less in the long run, because you have skin in the game, you will be more serious about it and more critical, in a healthy way, about what youre getting out of it.
 
rawlus said:
i think for undergrad degrees,it makes little difference where you go,
Click to expand...

Agreed. I knew too many friends that chose colleges for their undergrad based on the name of the school, and not the cost.

They are still paying student loans, and I have none...

I hire a lot of people; and never once have I even considered making a selection based on undergrad college....
 
AZ_IPA said:
Agreed. I knew too many friends that chose colleges for their undergrad based on the name of the school, and not the cost.

They are still paying student loans, and I have none...

I hire a lot of people; and never once have I even considered making a selection based on undergrad college....
Click to expand...

I disagree. I think the school and grades are very important for your first job. After that first job, it doesn't matter: experience does.
 
Go reread what jmendez wrote again and again. I am not the person he speaks of, but I very well could be. I work in a gov't regulated industry with high turnover. Everyone around me is high stress and angry. Me, not so much. Use the 8 hours at work to pay for the other 16. Being out of what seems to be a long term commited relationship sucks, which is probably more of the problem. Being "self sufficent" only helps in one area. ;) Friends are hard to come by, but you have hobbies that you enjoy and you will make friends through those hobbies. Give it a little time.

Only smelly hipster chicks like unemployed dudes. Remember Eddie Murphy Raw? Guys can look at the fry girl at burger king and think she's hot. You shaking that same oil off those fries will not get you a lady you are looking for. Keep your job.

/drunk and typing this on my phone . Sorry for the spelling.
//dick joke
 
sometimes you just gotta suck it up and do what you gotta do to keep the bills paid, at least till another opportunity presents itself. I'm heading out the door in a few minutes in a blizzard to plow snow for the next 6-8 hrs. yeah fun. I friggin hate snow, but it keeps food on my table in the winter
 
passedpawn said:
I disagree. I think the school and grades are very important for your first job. After that first job, it doesn't matter: experience does.
Click to expand...

But for me, I hire people who have done internships/etc before graduating....and again I could care less about their college...

I will swear by the motto "not what you know, but who you know"

I'll hire a "C" student if there's a reference I trust over a "A" student if I don't know 'em...
 

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