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Can murdering neighbors be legalized?

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ubermick

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Saturday morning. I'd been looking forward to it all week - it was the light at the end of a hellacious week of work, and all I wanted was to lie in. But of course, douchebag across the street has other ideas.

Cue the 7:30am landscaping.

I'm not sure WHY they start work that early, or indeed why they kick off with leaf blowers. Maybe it's a mating cry to others in the area? "Hey, any other inconsiderate cocknockers in the area wanna come over?" But something possessed him to go out and push his few leaves around the front garden with a two stroke engine strapped to his back.

The ironic thing is that this guy is a self-righteous green-douche. I'm all for doing our bit for the environment, but we're talking about a Prius driving knobsack, who's actually yelled at me on trash day for not recycling a pizza box (It's got oil on it, fartwad, you *can't* recycle it!). And here he is, puttering about with something that pollutes the air way worse than a car, the steaming turd burglar.

I bring this up, because he's out there AGAIN hosing his driveway down. At least he's doing it at a time of day when he assumes he won't bother folks (other than those of us who work from home). And hopefully it means he won't be doing it this weekend at 7:30 again. Because if it does, I'm going to shove the damn thing up his arse.

/End Rant
 

GilaMinumBeer

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okay. How about I wait til the heat of the day when the emissions from my engines have the greatest impact on teh environment.

Will that then satiate your need to sleep while others prefer to be productive in the daylight?

Or do you prefer I wait til the evening so you can hum a tune to my 2 cycle over dinner?
 

MMTG

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I hate leaf blowers! I also hate inconsiderate neighbors. Hosing down your driveway is a waste of water,tell him
 

TxBrew

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We had neighbors down the way that had 5 or 6 labs in their backyard that would all bark at once.

They were far enough to not annoy me too much but I have no clue how their direct neighbors could stand it. I would flip out.

Finally after a couple of LEO visits they built a huge fence.

Idiots.
 

Beyowka

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that reminds me to get to bed early tonight as the recycling truck will be throwing them bottles and cans around at 6am sharp. Can't we just convince our neighbors to move to kegs?
 

dougf

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Theres really only one thing to do... Scare the living **** out of the guy and make it known you are pissed to all hell about his 0730 fiasco, and maybe he will stop.
 
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ubermick

ubermick

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okay. How about I wait til the heat of the day when the emissions from my engines have the greatest impact on teh environment.

Will that then satiate your need to sleep while others prefer to be productive in the daylight?

Or do you prefer I wait til the evening so you can hum a tune to my 2 cycle over dinner?
Better yet...

USE A GODDAMN BROOM
 

billc68

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Ok, why would anyone be blowing leaves in the spring? I have never been to Ca so I have no idea, maybe that is normal. Why would an environmentalist wish to blow the beautiful compost leaves make OUT of the yard? I like to just mow them into the lawn.

7:30 to be honest wouldn't bother me, but my noisy neighbour isn't as close and he lives on teh opposite side of the house from my bedroom. He loves to cut grass every other day, so I sometimes cut mine at 7:00 am if I am up at the time.
 
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ubermick

ubermick

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First of all - MeatyPortion = Greatest name of all time
Second of all - Irish Pride, Tiocfaidh ár lá
Third of all - Feck it, it's way past 5, time for a beer
 

dndlyon

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the steaming turd burglar.
My all time favorite and I promise to work it into general conversation tomorrow!

Do you have a dog? I usually try to be really considerate and pick up after mine when we are out for a walk, but there is something satisfying about watching your dog take a major dump on the turd burglar's lawn.
 

homebrewer_99

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I made sure my neighbors aren't close enough to bother me...;)

There's an article somewhere that states from "cradle to grave" a Hummer is better than a Prius (has to do with the disposal of the batteries, I think...).

So much for "going green"...:D
 

pipapat

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Saturday morning. I'd been looking forward to it all week - it was the light at the end of a hellacious week of work, and all I wanted was to lie in. But of course, douchebag across the street has other ideas.

Cue the 7:30am landscaping.

I'm not sure WHY they start work that early, or indeed why they kick off with leaf blowers. Maybe it's a mating cry to others in the area? "Hey, any other inconsiderate cocknockers in the area wanna come over?" But something possessed him to go out and push his few leaves around the front garden with a two stroke engine strapped to his back.

The ironic thing is that this guy is a self-righteous green-douche. I'm all for doing our bit for the environment, but we're talking about a Prius driving knobsack, who's actually yelled at me on trash day for not recycling a pizza box (It's got oil on it, fartwad, you *can't* recycle it!). And here he is, puttering about with something that pollutes the air way worse than a car, the steaming turd burglar.

I bring this up, because he's out there AGAIN hosing his driveway down. At least he's doing it at a time of day when he assumes he won't bother folks (other than those of us who work from home). And hopefully it means he won't be doing it this weekend at 7:30 again. Because if it does, I'm going to shove the damn thing up his arse.

/End Rant

i would add fertilizer too his lawn with a preferred expletive at about 3 am.
But im a dick im not going to lie and i have great folks on my street so i have yet to do this.
 

pipapat

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the fertilizer burns the lawn and then every month there after it comes up faster than the rest of the lawn. So you have a big green word of your choosing.

I new a girl in high school that had it done too her. For like 3 years she had the word in big green letters.
 

gratus fermentatio

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Ya, if he's so green, he should be using a rake/broom. His Prius doesn't make up for his polluting the air & wasting the water. Want to get him? Get a little gallon pump sprayer (about $20) and load it with a herbicide like Roundup, then spray a msg on his lawn with it. Roundup takes a while to work, so it's sneakier than something like 2, 4-D. It DOES work.
;)
 

Homercidal

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Check your local ordinances. He may be well within his rights to do his yard work in the morning when it's cool. Not saying it's a real nice thing to do to the neighbors who are trying to sleep, but he might be perfectly fine waiting until 10:00 if you just tell him you'd enjoy sleeping in, so could you please use a rake before that time??

Around here, people start doing their stuff between 7 and 8 am.
 

Joker

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I would call him on the 'green' methods he is using. Definitely should have been a rake and broom.
 

GilaMinumBeer

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Does the guy go out of his way to describe himself as "green"?

I compost, garden, recycle, re-use, ride motorcycle (greener than Prius) and consider myself greener than most but I stll like my damn leaf blower for convienience.

Granted. i vacuum rather than blow and it DOES irritate me when the blower dudes push everything into the stree rather than their lawns. But,

what I find most ironic is that people ALWAYS complain about the leaf blower and the noise at 7:30 in the morning but say nothing of the 2 cycle weed eater or the noisey lawn mower that started at 7:00. And never suggest that a person should use something more manual in place of that.
 

arturo7

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If you're using anything that runs on gas, don't fire it up before 9:00.

If you're using a leaf blower at any time, you should be shot. Grab a broom.
 

Rhoobarb

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If you're using anything that runs on gas, don't fire it up before 9:00.

If you're using a leaf blower at any time, you should be shot. Grab a broom.
Agreed. Nothing more needs to be said. 7:30am on a Saturday is far too early. At least wait until 9:00am!:rolleyes:
 

Beyowka

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I wait until 8am before firing the jet burner for the boil, any later than that and I won't make it out to the beach by lunch time. you can call me whatever you want, just don't call me late for lunch. probably could stand to get a quieter burner at some point anyway.
 
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ubermick

ubermick

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If you're using anything that runs on gas, don't fire it up before 9:00.

If you're using a leaf blower at any time, you should be shot. Grab a broom.
x 1,000,000

That's my big issue. That he decides to annoy his neighbors on the weekends at the arsecrack of dawn. Yes, it's an issue to me that he's too lazy to use human power - when I do my driveway, I use a broom, and the job gets done a lot quicker than this bungling oaf, who'll spend a good couple of minutes chasing one stray leaf round in circles with his Godforsaken blower. But if he HAS to use it, then show a small bit of consideration for those who live around him, and wait until a civilized hour.

For the record, Gila, yes he does tout himself as green - see earlier comment where he's complained to me about not recycling a grease soaked pizza box (That attitude kinda goes with the territory in Marin County). And I don't mind folks being green (I consider myself green, doing all the things you do, minus the motorcycle - I ride my regular bike when possible) just not when they're hypocritical about it.

And while you can advocate on his behalf that he's choosing to be "productive in the daylight", there's 16 hours of that this time of year - and the heat's not an issue around here, that's for sure. And you can be sure I DO have an issue with a weed eater firing up at 7:00am, or a lawn mower - but the thing is, that never happens. Because my other neighbors are sane individuals who don't jump out of bed at 6:30 on a Saturday morning, eager to clog the air of our peaceful (usually) wee cul de sac with the lilting sound of engines.
 

GilaMinumBeer

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Meh. I guess I am lucky, in a sense, that those times are normal for my strip of the world. But, then again in Summer we are prone to realizing triple digits by 10:00. And lows of 90 at night.
 
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Meh, If you don't like the sounds of Suburbia, don't live in Suburbia. Sorry. I don't expect any one to waste their day because I'm too lazy to get out of bed (which I am). Buy a pair of $0.50 Ear Plugs.
 
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ubermick

ubermick

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Actually, the sounds of suburbia is why we moved out here in the first place. Did the living in a city thing, and wanted peace and quiet. Seriously tho, I lived in apartment buildings, where their code actually specified QUIET TIME to be 7am-8pm during the week, and 9am-11pm on the weekends.

Coincidentally enough, one of my other neighbors actually mentioned it to me a few minutes ago when I went to get the mail. I mentioned I was busy at work, and looking forward to the weekend, and her response was along the lines of "Here's hoping we don't have to hear folks doing yardwork at ungodly hours this time" Chuckled about it, saying that I did notice the blower sound, and said it was a little early, and then she went OFF about the guy. Her husband's retired, and spends a lot of time in his garage doing woodworking, etc., and apparently a few weeks ago, Cockbag McNeighbor came over and asked him if he wouldn't mind not using his table saw, since his kids were taking a nap. (It was 4:00pm in the afternoon). He's planning on using his table saw again today, and is hoping for another visit, so he can tell him where to shove his quiet time.

Ah, I love passive aggressive neighbor wars...
 

GilaMinumBeer

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Actually, the sounds of suburbia is why we moved out here in the first place. Did the living in a city thing, and wanted peace and quiet. Seriously tho, I lived in apartment buildings, where their code actually specified QUIET TIME to be 7am-8pm during the week, and 9am-11pm on the weekends.

Coincidentally enough, one of my other neighbors actually mentioned it to me a few minutes ago when I went to get the mail. I mentioned I was busy at work, and looking forward to the weekend, and her response was along the lines of "Here's hoping we don't have to hear folks doing yardwork at ungodly hours this time" Chuckled about it, saying that I did notice the blower sound, and said it was a little early, and then she went OFF about the guy. Her husband's retired, and spends a lot of time in his garage doing woodworking, etc., and apparently a few weeks ago, Cockbag McNeighbor came over and asked him if he wouldn't mind not using his table saw, since his kids were taking a nap. (It was 4:00pm in the afternoon). He's planning on using his table saw again today, and is hoping for another visit, so he can tell him where to shove his quiet time.

Ah, I love passive aggressive neighbor wars...
Okay. I will give you that THIS guy does come off as a enema bag nozzle.

I won;t even give him the benifit of being a douchenozzle because that puts him too close to godliness no matter how it smells.
 

MBasile

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I used to play the drums and had this annoying old retired dentist for a neighbor. He'd complain constantly about me playing the drums at 4:00pm, but didn't see a problem with firing up his table saw at 7:00am. Typical "I have nothing going for me in life so I'm going to complain about others." kind of guy.

Then I moved out to the boonies and there was someone in the area that would leave their dog outside 24/7. If I happened to wake up at 3:00am (don't always sleep well) I'd hear it barking constantly. Lived out there for 3 years and always heard it.
 

kjung

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Ironically, I started reading this thread this morning, after SWMBO told me about being kept up last night by OUR neighbors. (I fell straight asleep after celebrating the Hawks victory! But I DO vaguely remember hearing a female voice screaming just before I dropped off.)
Our neighbors were having yet another screaming match, started by the teenage (bitch) daughter and her (moron *******) boyfriend, who stromed out and then moved on to a mother-daughter duel.

I told SWMBO that the next time that happend, she should call 911 and report "what sounds like someone being attacked". Maybe then they'll get the message that all of the neighbors can here them EVERY time they do this!
 

gak27

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kjung:

Congrats to the Hawks for the win! Bonus points for it being against the effin' Flyers...

from a lifelong 'Guins fan...
 

arturo7

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Meh, If you don't like the sounds of Suburbia, don't live in Suburbia. Sorry. I don't expect any one to waste their day because I'm too lazy to get out of bed (which I am). Buy a pair of $0.50 Ear Plugs.

Nobody is going to waste their day by using a broom instead of a blower.



EDIT: Poor phrasing on my part. What I was trying to say is that using a broom over a blower does not "waste your day."
 
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