Best response to telling someone you homebrew

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flyangler18

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My mother-in-law actually asked me:

"So what's the difference between ale and beer?"

<face-palm>
[history nerd]Historically, there was a difference. Ale was unhopped, beer was hopped.[/history nerd]

Carry on! :D
 

GilaMinumBeer

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I have been asked to brew for peoples occasions but, the best respons I have gotten to HomeBrew was from a Sherrif who stopped dead in his patrol after seeing me mid brew in the garage.

Brewing is actually not leagal in Oklahoma so......

He stopped his patrol car in teh middle of the street. Got out and walked up the drive. Asked if he could come into the garage.

At this point I was expecting a long lecture about distilling. He walked up to the boil kettle took a whiff and said "Beer?"

"Yes" I said.

"3 point?" he said.

"Yes" I said.

"Health Department regulates 3 point and doesn't have any ordinance to prohibit home brew. ABLE commission only prohibits above 3 point."

long silence and he takes another whiff

"Carry On" turns and walks back toward the car "might wanna close that door some and get some good fans".

Best response I have had yet!
 

bernerbrau

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"Is this like your grand scheme to grow coffee beans and build a fortune through coffee sales?"

This came from that asshat I ranted about a few weeks ago. I did try growing a coffee plant at one point but the beans never sprouted. And he was highly exaggerating; a well-tended plant can yield drastic savings in coffee expenses. I never wanted to go into business as a coffee exporter.
 
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I showed a friend my setup and the beer on tap - he says "I would try it but keg beer gives me a head-ache" --- but we all ways get pitchers from the bar?
WTF?
I got this response from one of the engineers here the other day, but then then he told me to bring him some in in bottles to try :confused:

I'll probably bring him a few bottles in once I get my lastest batch of Phat Tire carbed.

When I first started, my friends would say:
You made this Bradley?, Very Good sir, Wow, this is good. I don't like beer but this isn't bad. (last one was my mom).
One of my favs from my cousin drinkin the Black pepper Wit. "This is good, it would be really good if you left out.......The pepper."
Granted the lastest batch came out Pretty peppery, But I love it. I will cut it back some next time though.
 

GilaMinumBeer

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"Is this like your grand scheme to grow coffee beans and build a fortune through coffee sales?"

This came from that asshat I ranted about a few weeks ago.
You need to become one of those "guys". You know, one those "matrix, underground, code geeks" and write a program that does all sorts of dastardly deeds using his IP addy as the source. You know, transfer some federal funds to an agenda group. Have a custom italian sports car delivered.

Something fun and un-traceable to anyone but him.
 

HenryHill

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You need to become one of those "guys". You know, one those "matrix, underground, code geeks" and write a program that does all sorts of dastardly deeds using his IP addy as the source. You know, transfer some federal funds to an agenda group. Have a custom italian sports car delivered.

Something fun and un-traceable to anyone but him.
This guy deserves the whole nine yards. Magazine subscriptions are only the beginning.

Anarchist Cookbook - Powered by Anarchy!
 
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I think the guy he has problems with is the same he was complaining about in another thread who is also a code monkey and from what I understand just as good if not slightly better then Brownie. So I'd stay away from the code wars. Keep it simple. Flaming Dog **** on the doorstep! Or if you know he won't be home for a long time, take your lawn mower to his house and cut I'M A *****BAG into his lawn on the lowest deck setting you have.
 

bernerbrau

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I really don't know where the guy lives, or his email address, or phone number, and obtaining any of those things would entail cluing in people who like him to my deeds. Three years ago he lived in an apartment, so if he still lives there, there would be video footage of any neighborly prank I tried to pull.

I think instead, I bring homebrew to NashDL meetings and after I get positive reviews, say he doesn't get any because he's a *********. You know, go all little red hen on his ass. Of course he'd probably go "I don't need any of your crappy beer" or some stupid crap like that, because he knows that **** hurts my feelings.
 

Cpt_Kirks

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Is "He insulted my beer" an excuse to shoot someone in Tennessee? I think it is in Texas.

I'll research that and get back to you...

:p
 
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Of course he'd probably go "I don't need any of your crappy beer" or some stupid crap like that, because he knows that **** hurts my feelings.
Everybody...1...2...3.....AAAWWWW!!!

C'mon Brownie. Don't let some DB's 3rd grade response to you about your beer bothers you. Just ignore him. If he says "I don't need any of your crappy beer" simply reply, well, then I guess everyone wins, You don't have to drink any of my crappy beer, and there's more for everyone else at this table that can't get enough of it :)"
 

bernerbrau

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Everybody...1...2...3.....AAAWWWW!!!
Yeah dude, I think we've firmly established that you think me being a sensitive guy is a weakness.

"Sensitive Guy" is not something I actively try to be, it's just who I am. My natural response to snobbish dickery is to be offended, and my natural response to snobbish dickery directed at ME is to feel hurt. After 20 years of trying to bury those responses because I "shouldn't let it get to me" I've decided I'm effing tired of pretending it doesn't.

But I've hijacked this thread long enough.
 

Six_O_Turbo

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Neighbor gal: "You brew your own beer?"

Me: "Yep, here's a bottle, give it a try..."

Neighbor gal: "This is the best beer I have ever tasted!! Would you like a BJ?"

This didn't really happen, but it would be the best response to telling someone I homebrew..........
 

rvbrewer

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I was brewing about a month ago when a very intoxicated neighbor holding a natty light walked up right at flame out, the ensuing conversation:
Him: You boiling crawfish ( lid was off, clearly a very dark stout)
Me: No, I am actually brewing beer
Him: (While holding out the natty can for me to see) I like beer, can I try it?
Me: It is not ready...
Him: What do you mean, its right there (points at the kettle)
Me: That is just wort, I have to add yeast, give it time to ferment
Him: Ferment???? I just want some now before it goes bad, do you have a glass I can use???
Me: Goodbye (as I carry my kettle inside away from him)

In hindsight I should have given him a glass of 200 degree wort.
 

sketerbuck

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" Can you make anything that is as good as budweiser ".............." I tried some once it was horrible "............" Does it have alcohol in it "........." Do you get sick after you drink it "
 

masonsjax

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"Ooh man, last time I homebrewed...woo hoo, that sh*t will get you drunk! Me and my buddy made it in a pig and..."
"A pig?"
"Ya one of those small kegs is called a pig. We drank the whole thing, just the 2 of us! Man were we F'ed up! So you gonna bring me some of yours to try"
"Absolutely not"
"Why not?"
"I don't have any pigs"
 

AlesNeverFail

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If someone says this to me, I say "Hell no...alcoholics go to meetings". :drunk:

That's what i should have said! Usually i try to briefly explain the time and effort that goes into brewing, etc. Actually last night i got "This beer tastes professional", my new favorite.
 

ChrisS68

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"I'm glad it's good. I was worried it was going to taste like s**t and I was going to have to lie to you." - My Father-in-law, who is now my primary tate-tester.

"I'd buy this. I've had people's homebrews before and they're usually cloudy and... This is like something you'd get at the store." - Brother (who is familiar with good beer) after trying my Czech Pilsner

Most people who know me already knew of my affinity for beer, so homebrewing is almost a natural progression. A lot of people I talk to have either tried it themselves or know someone who did. Even Grandma talked about siphoning beer into bottles during prohibition.

I've also had people ask about my hops growing in the back yard. Their first assumption is usually grapes. One recent conversation with a neighbor/former co-worker comes to mind. You know, it's amazing how little most people know about what goes into beer. For someone who spends 90% of his life at the bar swilling cans of BMC, you'd think he'd at least know that there are hops in beer. Then again, he's about as sharp as a box of rocks. He then told me about how his Dad and Uncle would go to Southern Illinois back when to get "homebrew", and then he got all hushed and said, "but keep it quiet, you know..." I didn't really understand the need to travel so far to get homebrew, and I told him homebrew wasn't illegal. Then again, maybe he was referring to a different kind of "homebrew. ;)
 

Yooper

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"You're a homebrewer?" "But, you're a girl!"

"Why do you make beer, when you can buy it at the store?"

"Is it good?"
No. It tastes bad. That's why I do it. So I can drink ****.
 

bmckee56

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Quote:
"Do you sell it?"
"You should sell this!"

+1 on this comment. I get that for my Beer and Wine. Someday soon, I hope to have a B&B where guests brew or vint their own beverage while enjoying the beer and wine I produce on premise.

Salute! :mug:
 

taylornate

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the first batch i did was in college in my buddies TINY apartment, and the A**hole up above us called the cops because he saw/smelled the hops,thought it was pot, the cops came and and asked whats going on and,,,we said officer "were makin beer" they came inside and were perplexed..that this was possible but it was the old police guy that said ahhh s__t ive made worse stuff than this on a stove!
The thing about this that would make me nervous is that instead of the cop thinking
Homebrew is legal, carry on
He may have been thinking
Homebrew is illegal but I don't care, carry on
Which could have just as easily been
Homebrew is illegal, I'm going to haul you in
Which is why I wouldn't have consented to a search.
 

humann_brewing

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"when do you add the alcohol?"

"I can't drink that stuff, I like a beer I can drink 30 of"

"wow, that tastes strong" He meant alcohol, but it was the bitterness of an IPA with only a 5.5 ABV
 

barroomhero1234

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i always get the normal ones everyone gets, the

Like in your bathtub?

what pisses me off more is when people ask really how do you make it? and i explain and they have no clue what grain or hops even are.
 

Bernie Brewer

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A few years ago, at my ex-wife's X-Mas party, a group of us got onto the subject of beer (happens a lot around me:eek:). I mentioned that I make my own, and the next thing I knew, I had at least a half dozen guys around me asking tons of questions. We talked for at least a half hour. I felt like the guru on the mount with all these people being my subjects wanting to know the meaning of life. It was kinda cool.:)
 

bernerbrau

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"Don't want to drink too much of that, you'll go blind!"
That's home distilling. And if I recall correctly if you discard the first quart or so of distillate you'll be fine.
 

taylornate

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That's home distilling. And if I recall correctly if you discard the first quart or so of distillate you'll be fine.
I think you don't even have to do that because the amount of methanol produced is insignificant. If you were purposefully trying to isolate the methanol by collecting only the first drops, then you could get a high concentration of it, but I'm not sure if the amount would be dangerous. When mixed with the rest of the ethanol, it should be safe.

Don't quote me on this though. If I were to go into this, I'd want to do some research to confirm either point.

Sorry if that's too :off:
 

waexplorer

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My sons neighbor with my Mac and Jack clone
Sip... "This is good" Another sip..."This is real good"
SWMBO "Don't encourage him"
 

r3dn3ckstyl3z

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I think you don't even have to do that because the amount of methanol produced is insignificant. If you were purposefully trying to isolate the methanol by collecting only the first drops, then you could get a high concentration of it, but I'm not sure if the amount would be dangerous. When mixed with the rest of the ethanol, it should be safe.

Don't quote me on this though. If I were to go into this, I'd want to do some research to confirm either point.

Sorry if that's too :off:
actually as far as distilling. you have to isolate the methynol. you ONLY want the ethynol. even a small amount (70-80 mL/ gallon depending on person) could cause blindness. I researched shining before brewing and decided on brewing because it was a LOT cheaper.:off:
 

taylornate

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actually as far as distilling. you have to isolate the methynol. you ONLY want the ethynol. even a small amount (70-80 mL/ gallon depending on person) could cause blindness. I researched shining before brewing and decided on brewing because it was a LOT cheaper.:off:
Doesn't it become safe when mixed with sufficient ethanol? :off:
 
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