Best News Headlines

[GrogNerd]

so... the BigHair & I went to a spa & had massages

guess where & what day we went?

I saw the receptionist & my therapist, didn't even see the BigHair's therapist & definitely didn't see this effin guy.

Ashburn Massage Therapist Charged with Sex Offenses​

 

[sweetcell]

Ashburn Massage Therapist Charged with Sex Offenses

funny - you'd think that in a place like Cashburn, you'd be insulated from such common low-lifes...

 

[GrogNerd]

funny - you'd think that in a place like Cashburn, you'd be insulated from such common low-lifes...

it's surrounded by shitholes Sterling (oh, hey! look where Grog lives!) & Leesburg, where the low-lifes live, people in Cashburn aren't rich enough to live in western Loudoun

& Ashburn is getting shitholier by the day

 

[sweetcell]

it's surrounded by shitholes Sterling (oh, hey! look where Grog lives!) & Leesburg, where the low-lifes live, people in Cashburn aren't rich enough to live in western Loudoun

& Ashburn is getting shitholier by the day

lol. it's been 5 years since i left the DMV so i'm outta date on where the fancy people do and don't live these days... my first gig outta grad school was at AOL in Sterling, commuted there from downtown DC for over a year. got to know the area a bit, did an annual clothes-shopping trip to Leesburg. impressive what all those cow fields have become...

 

[GrogNerd]

47 wineries, 28 breweries in Loudoun. plus distilleries, cideries & meaderies. only missing an absinthery & a sakagura

lol. it's been 5 years since i left the DMV so i'm outta date on where the fancy people do and don't live these days... my first gig outta grad school was at AOL in Sterling, commuted there from downtown DC for over a year. got to know the area a bit, did an annual clothes-shopping trip to Leesburg. impressive what all those cow fields have become...

 

[Northern_Brewer]

https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/former-pastor-74-sentenced-performing-sex-acts-henry-hoover/

 

[balrog]

https://www.lbc.co.uk/news/former-pastor-74-sentenced-performing-sex-acts-henry-hoover/

Sometimes the news just sucks.

 

[bleme]

 

[soccerdad]

Oh $hit. Florida Man is now a cop.
https://news.yahoo.com/florida-police-sergeant-seen-grabbing-041540831.html

 

[bruce_the_loon]

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-61821093

 

[Kent88]

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Oh $hit. Florida Man is now a cop.
https://news.yahoo.com/florida-police-sergeant-seen-grabbing-041540831.html

And a Sherrif.
https://apnews.com/article/police-florida-fort-lauderdale-ed03521826c0f70b1d455b4e7fc3e6cb

 

[Sailingeric]

Move over Florida Man, meet Florida fish. Woman on fishing boat off Florida coast stabbed by 100-pound fish

Not only stabbed, but stabbed in the groin.

 

[balrog]

And a Sherrif.
https://apnews.com/article/police-florida-fort-lauderdale-ed03521826c0f70b1d455b4e7fc3e6cb

Reading the second story, how the heck did we all miss the 2016 Florida Man AP News bit?
https://apnews.com/article/oddities...e-alligators-960f39e11c0149019c3f16567c1bbc98

 

[balrog]

Move over Florida Man, meet Florida fish. Woman on fishing boat off Florida coast stabbed by 100-pound fish

Not only stabbed, but stabbed in the groin.

73 years old.

"Hey Grandma, go fishin' with me! It'll be fresh air, sea spray, and make you feel good all over!"

 

[Hoppy2bmerry]

73 years old.

"Hey Grandma, go fishin' with me! It'll be fresh air, sea spray, and make you feel good all over!"

Hubby and I went out for Marlin or swordfish while visiting the Big Island HI some years back. While lamenting over some beer at happy hour, that we just went for a very nice boat ride as there wasn’t even a nibble, two minutes later the news reported a man was impaled in the chest by one of those fish… I think he died. We were less sad about not landing one of those delicious spear faced bruisers.

 

[Kent88]

Before You Eat the TikTok-Famous Pink Sauce, Read This

Somebody out there looked at a bottle of Pepto Bismol and thought "dang, that looks really appetizing, someone should make a dipping sauce that looks like that!" and actually followed through with it.

 

[Dland]

Move over Florida Man, meet Florida fish. Woman on fishing boat off Florida coast stabbed by 100-pound fish

Not only stabbed, but stabbed in the groin.

Fish was just trying to live, and way more of our species than of them. I'm fine with fishing if that is what you got to do to feed oneself or make a living. Or relaxing outside by water and bringing home a dinner, I do that sometimes, but stop when I've got enough for the next meal.

But some of this "sport" fishing is equivalent of shooting wild animals on African savanna trophy hunting.

Yeah, justify it 'cause some human might get fed the meat, when pleasure was takin in the "hunt".

Hope the lady gets better, but I'm not a fan of "sport" fishing for apex fish.

 

[bruce_the_loon]

https://ewn.co.za/2022/08/04/us-man-arrested-for-starting-wildfire-by-trying-to-burn-a-spider

 

[GrogNerd]

US sailors, Marines in Greece exhausted a town’s supply of eggs, meat, and tattoos​

so proud of my shipmates,

& OK... the Jarheads may have helped some.

 

[bruce_the_loon]

Linked in the eggs article. Florida man strikes again.

https://taskandpurpose.com/news/space-force-florida-aliens-dragons/

 

[Northern_Brewer]

This is a classic :
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/...says-scientist-in-fake-news-warning-sbsxx8cph

 

[day_trippr]

In an obvious ploy to be noticed, Florida Woman hits the highway...

https://nypost.com/2022/08/03/truck...woman-driving-drunk-in-golf-cart-reports/amp/

 

[soccerdad]

I hate it when it happens to me
https://amp.tmz.com/2022/08/05/italian-decathlete-penis-falls-out-mid-race/

 

[balrog]

Two opposing responses come to mind:
"Everyone hates it when it happens to you"
or
"How would you know if it happened?" (yes, mandatory infantile Jr High School size joke; you're welcome, internet)

 

[Kent88]

Unsarcastic actual good news!

A vaccine for Lyme disease is in its final clinical trial

 

[homebeerbrewer]

I decided to post this s4!ty storey…

https://wmur.com/article/wisconsin-drivers-couldnt-eyes-port-a-potties-spilled-i-94/40864598

 

[homebeerbrewer]

Another s4!ty story…

https://apnews.com/article/massachu...-environment-99b4ce46f3bb2fcf8fed277836c90caa

 

[soccerdad]

Another s4!ty story…

https://apnews.com/article/massachu...-environment-99b4ce46f3bb2fcf8fed277836c90caa

The Former Guy would call that a lilacflowers town.

 

[Northern_Brewer]

This isn't a headline, but how the reporter kept a straight face through all this I don't know. There's all sorts of little details that make it, like the guy living in Bram Stoker Crescent :

 

[Kent88]

Not exactly best headline, but it ends well:

A caving project became a rescue mission after a dog was found 500 feet down

 

[GrogNerd]

NASA Has Plans to Probe Uranus​

(lol)​

then there's the ALT page name

the URL: https: //slate. com/technology/2022/08/nasa-uranus-probe-orbiter-lol-sorry.html

& photo accompanying the article

 

[soccerdad]

Meh. No big deal. My doctor does this every couple of years.

 

[homebeerbrewer]

I gotta get mine probed soon. Sucks getting old. They do call it a better name than Uranus Probe, but colonoscopy is not much better.

 

[GrogNerd]

2 I've had, prep is worse than the procedure

 

[balrog]

Prep is an interesting exercise in explosive decompression, but over the last few years the anesthesia has progressed from Versa-something/Demerol to Prophen-something, which makes waking up much more like a light switch flipping than swimming interminably up through the seaweed festooned consciousness for half an hour.

 

[Kent88]

 

[day_trippr]

Umm....Ok?

I've been 'scoped twice, both under Versed, and yeah, snapping out of that haze takes some time.
I imagine the "Prophen-something" might be Propofol.
I'm over-due for another session, maybe I'll get that this time.
Prep is never fun. I tried avoiding food the day before but it didn't really help cut the cramping that much...

Cheers!

 

[sweetcell]

looks like that's supposed to be a media embed, but it's not working for me... believe this was the desired video:

Watch snake walk using robotic legs​

 

[govner1]

Umm....Ok?

I've been 'scoped twice, both under Versed, and yeah, snapping out of that haze takes some time.
I imagine the "Prophen-something" might be Propofol.
I'm over-due for another session, maybe I'll get that this time.
Prep is never fun. I tried avoiding food the day before but it didn't really help cut the cramping that much...

Cheers!

You should try the crap in a box system. No hospital, etc. All done at home!