Besest upon the Erth!!

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Zul'jin

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Woe be unto tyuo sofa heckelrs! Numbered are your days, code monkeys! And it aint a big number, let me tell you. !

We got a new metal bench for the front proch and put the beatiful greeen cardory sofa in the back patio. For many months did the light shione upon it. It shone on me as a slumber there in the warmth of rightisnous and cool breeze of the way. Glory!

Then camth the day of the pick yup. Any item, no matter how big could be palced at the curb for pick up. And we did pl;ace the sofa there, good side of cushions up. as it was want us to do. Palce me upon the mantle of the infidel so I may strasithen his crokk spine and make good his unfermented belly! OBEY!


And take it they did. But not them! NO! The will not. CAN NTO! before the break of dawn, the sopfa was gone and the rubish only was left! gone to new home! Knowing of goodeness its takers were. E SHALL HOPE! for if not..

IT LIVES! so that others way nkow it's furious glory and plushedness!

Right now, as you sit and drink your home beer, another does sit and drink his. THERERS! I am sure of this! Its out there, veing sat upon and drank uypon.

You who say against it, WOE! It is not with oyu and you are not in its way. Serve us as it fid, it serves on Tireless and a little threadless, BUT ONLY ON THE ONER SIDE! mateers not! both sides are of equal in the eyes of the light and the way! both sides equal, lay be you hope they both be equal in kindeness. Tio me yes! equal. To the non beliver, enjopy its bounty should you find or be eaten by its great crevess. smothered by its pillowy back rests. tough love! it has not seals or trumpets to warn. you will eithe rbe prepared or not!

Let us take this moment to pray PRAY UNON ALL SOULS OF BOTTOMS UPON IOT that the new steward is worthy or will soon be, fo rif not his body shall be as one without restandiation! Ammend and

AMEN!
 
May a drop of BMC ne'er be spilt upon its mythical plushness!! May its glorious cushions be flipped with the same love they were posteriorly crushed with. May you not want for days of yore, but revel in the joy you have given others.

Cheers.
 
That would be the ultimate irony. If said code monkey came and took the couch. I threw out a couch today, and I should have taken a picture of it on the front porch before I did. What was I thinking.
 
the sofa cries from the depths of hell as it gets BMC spilled upon it.

I would have euthanized it with a bonfire and saved it from such a wretched and slow death.... :D

Funeral Pyre is what I say. You abandoned your beloved friend. You let the code monkeys win. Your cold metal bench will be no substitute. Try if you want to replace him but you cannot. A thousand barleywines will not wash this sin from your heart. :(
 
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