Beer Snobbery generator Awesomeness

Homebrew Talk - Beer, Wine, Mead, & Cider Brewing Discussion Forum

Help Support Homebrew Talk:

Joined
Apr 13, 2006
Messages
13,304
Reaction score
158
Location
Phoenix
http://www.its-pub-night.com/2009/03/beer-review-generator.html


Pours a vivid strawberry blonde with almost no head. Minimal lacing. Absolutely disgusting medicinal scent, with notes of circus peanut and molasses. Nightmarish buttery palate, with overtones of pepper and cilantro. Heavy mouthfeel and long, long finish. Score: 3.49/5.
Pours a breathtaking golden color with a thick, rocky head. Beautiful lacing. Off-putting catty nose, maybe a little bacon and sherry. Heavy full-bodied flavor, with overtones of circus peanut and citrus. Dense, dense mouthfeel and thin finish. Score: 3.35/5.
 

RICLARK

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2007
Messages
2,532
Reaction score
14
Location
Grand Ledge, Mich
Pours an insipid pitch black with a two-finger head. Stunning lacing. Absolutely disgusting musty aroma, with raisin and bubblegum. Off-putting fruity taste, with overtones of sweat and pepper. Thin mouthfeel and disappointing finish. Score: 1.02/5.
friggin bad ass
 

McKBrew

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 19, 2006
Messages
8,186
Reaction score
43
Location
Hayden
Cool, I don't have to write my own reviews anymore.
 

jmulligan

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2007
Messages
1,622
Reaction score
10
Location
Odenton, MD
Pours a clear greyish-green with almost no head. Light lacing. Thick piney aroma, maybe a little pecans and sherry. Half-decent fruity palate, with notes of sweat and sour milk. Chunky mouthfeel and thin finish. Score: 1.52/5.
Mmmmmm, chunky sweat and sour milk, delicious!
 

KayaBrew

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
2,579
Reaction score
290
Location
Jay
Pours a turbulent light brown with absolutely zero head. Very light lacing. Off-putting bready aroma, maybe a little old newsprint and pepper. Absolutely disgusting tart palate, with just a hint of toffee and mango. Watery mouthfeel and slightly dry finish. Score: 1.88/5.

Brilliant!
 

JAG410

Active Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Messages
44
Reaction score
0
Location
Moorhead, MN
Drinking a Deschutes Hop Trip, here's the review :)

Pours an opalescent chestnut with a soft, pillowy head. Amazing lacing. Intense herbal nose, and I also get some circus peanut and apple. Well-balanced barnyard taste, with notes of tartness and banana. Tightly carbonated mouthfeel and light finish. Score: 3.98/5.

Sounds pretty close minus banana.
 

beerthirty

big beers turn my gears
Lifetime Supporter
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
2,584
Reaction score
41
Location
Podunk, VA. Not far from the NC line.
Review: Pours an insipid strawberry blonde with a soft, pillowy head. Heavy lacing. Nightmarish floral nose, maybe a little biscuit malt and citrus. Thick maple taste, with overtones of hamster cage and hops. Chalky mouthfeel and light finish. Score: 2.40/5.

personal notes: Strawberry blond offering pillowy head with heavy lashings. She had to bequick and taste my lemons. Thick maypole flavor tinged with cedar bitterness. Leaving a chalky mouthfeel and light pockets.

OK I couldn't help it, after all "its pub night" :D and I'm drunk. MODS remove if you feel the need.
 

Jaymo

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 3, 2009
Messages
147
Reaction score
4
Location
Racine, WI
Pours a dense chestnut with a cotton candy head. Excellent lacing. Well-balanced piney nose, and I also get some chocolate and shoe leather. Intense spicy flavor, maybe a little forward alcohol and bourbon. Extremely weak mouthfeel and bitter finish. Score: 4.65/5.
Doesn't sound too bad other than the piney nose, maybe.
 

Parker36

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2007
Messages
4,740
Reaction score
26
Location
Lesotho
Pours a turbulent coffee color with a ruddy brown head. Light lacing. Minimal yeasty aroma, with notes of sour milk and hamster cage. Disturbing full-bodied palate, maybe a little coffee and caramel. Tightly carbonated mouthfeel and light finish. Score: 3.71/5.
Mmmmm, sour milk and hamster cage....
 

Matt Up North

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 4, 2008
Messages
2,023
Reaction score
13
Location
Santa Rosa, CA
Pours a magnificent black with absolutely zero head. Half-decent lacing. Sexy biscuity scent, with just a hint of walnuts and split pea soup. Amazing lemony taste, with notes of cilantro and grapefruit. Tightly carbonated mouthfeel and long, long finish. Score: 4.63/5.
Delicious
10
 
Top