A new, insidious threat to our society......

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smizak

smizak

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Not murderous Mexican drug cartels, not exploding meth labs, not even face eating bath salt zombies. I'm talking about......

Hipster soccer fans.

Now I can't even go out to eat without listening to a group of scraggly bearded, Goodwill baby tee and "Manpri" wearing, faux-Euro pseudo-males screaming like 10 yr old girls at a Bieber concert because Portugal kicked a ball out of bounds.

These people are from the US too! It's practically treasonous, I really can't think of anything more un-American. Now I know that the estrogen in the drinking water from birth control pill use theory has validity....

/rant
 
shecky said:
Way too old to be a hipster, love soccer.
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You're not my problem. Its the doosh who decided last month that his favorite sport is international soccer because the rest of his doosh hipster friends think its different and interesting. Ugh, its so contrived and disingenuous....
 
Hahaha!! I used to live in Brooklyn, birthplace of the Hipster so this is old news. Must have just now reached other parts of the country. Im in Utah now and sadly the Hipster disease has spread all the way out here too. They are taking over the all the industrial areas, rock climbing gyms, and good dive bars. Its entertaining though hahaha
 
I have no problem whatsoever with hipster soccer fans; I hate all soccer fans! Seriously though, it's even more boring than hockey which in my opinion is not exciting just because they skate fast and hit each other. Give me Football and Basketball any day. And baseball so long as it's live in person.

We were having this conversation with one of our slightly hipsterish friends who has been on the soccer bandwagon for years now. Talking about what great athletes they are and how they need to watch the Euro Cup or other foreign teams to enjoy it because the US sucks. Anyways, the conversation snowballed into how the US could dominate soccer. Step one: people would need to care (I know right, never gonna happen but just amuse me here). Step two: if people cared athletes could would enjoy it too and could get paid well doing it because there would be TV advertisement to sell. Step three: the US has the best soccer team in the world with Derrick Rose, Adrian Peterson and Chris Johnson as your attacking scorers (I obviously know nothing about soccer bc I'm sure the position is not called attacking scorer...), some combination of agile RBs, WRs, Point Guards and random other athletes at Defense (how ever many of those are needed to field a team) and then someone crazy tall and fast defending the goal, I'm thinking Lebron James, Calvin Johnson or maybe Dwight Howard once they are leading by enough just bc it would be fun to see him block shots out of bounce across midfield. Boom; problem solved. The US is now theoretically great at soccer!
 
cmybeer said:
I have no problem whatsoever with hipster soccer fans; I hate all soccer fans! Seriously though, it's even more boring than hockey which in my opinion is not exciting just because they skate fast and hit each other. Give me Football and Basketball any day. And baseball so long as it's live in person.

We were having this conversation with one of our slightly hipsterish friends who has been on the soccer bandwagon for years now. Talking about what great athletes they are and how they need to watch the Euro Cup or other foreign teams to enjoy it because the US sucks. Anyways, the conversation snowballed into how the US could dominate soccer. Step one: people would need to care (I know right, never gonna happen but just amuse me here). Step two: if people cared athletes could would enjoy it too and could get paid well doing it because there would be TV advertisement to sell. Step three: the US has the best soccer team in the world with Derrick Rose, Adrian Peterson and Chris Johnson as your attacking scorers (I obviously know nothing about soccer bc I'm sure the position is not called attacking scorer...), some combination of agile RBs, WRs, Point Guards and random other athletes at Defense (how ever many of those are needed to field a team) and then someone crazy tall and fast defending the goal, I'm thinking Lebron James, Calvin Johnson or maybe Dwight Howard once they are leading by enough just bc it would be fun to see him block shots out of bounce across midfield. Boom; problem solved. The US is now theoretically great at soccer!
Click to expand...

Sigh. I almost hate ignorant "sports" fans more then "hipsters"
 
Punity said:
Sigh. I almost hate ignorant "sports" fans more then "hipsters"
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:mug::mug::mug:

While most of the arguments are pretty subjective as to which sport is "better" or more "exciting" most people that attempt to have that argument are so jaded its ridiculous. It gets pretty annoying when someone says "Seriously though, it's even more boring than hockey which in my opinion is not exciting just because they skate fast and hit each other. Give me Football..." Football is a game about running really fast (slower than hockey players) and hitting each other. The difference is in football you have to wait up to 45 seconds between plays.

Regardless, it's all subjective.
 
Football is a boring sport. I love the damn thing to death college and pro. But there is more down time in football then anyother sport.
 
cmybeer said:
I have no problem whatsoever with hipster soccer fans; I hate all soccer fans! Seriously though, it's even more boring than hockey which in my opinion is not exciting just because they skate fast and hit each other. Give me Football and Basketball any day. And baseball so long as it's live in person.

We were having this conversation with one of our slightly hipsterish friends who has been on the soccer bandwagon for years now. Talking about what great athletes they are and how they need to watch the Euro Cup or other foreign teams to enjoy it because the US sucks. Anyways, the conversation snowballed into how the US could dominate soccer. Step one: people would need to care (I know right, never gonna happen but just amuse me here). Step two: if people cared athletes could would enjoy it too and could get paid well doing it because there would be TV advertisement to sell. Step three: the US has the best soccer team in the world with Derrick Rose, Adrian Peterson and Chris Johnson as your attacking scorers (I obviously know nothing about soccer bc I'm sure the position is not called attacking scorer...), some combination of agile RBs, WRs, Point Guards and random other athletes at Defense (how ever many of those are needed to field a team) and then someone crazy tall and fast defending the goal, I'm thinking Lebron James, Calvin Johnson or maybe Dwight Howard once they are leading by enough just bc it would be fun to see him block shots out of bounce across midfield. Boom; problem solved. The US is now theoretically great at soccer!
Click to expand...

Valid point about our best athletes not playing soccer. If that were the case the US would be a force but there is no money in the domestic game (few exceptions)

Soccer has its boring games and really exciting games just like every other sport but I'm sure we can all agree hipsters do suck and need to be stopped before they multiply. Seriously people remember a few years ago when there were just a few d-bags running around in affliction t-shirts? Look at us now they're everywhere!!!! We can't let this happen with hipsters, we just can't..... Won't someone think of the children :'-(


Mexico to win Olympics
 
I like a good rant if its based in fact. If you dont like a sport becuase you dont care to understand whats going on then whos fault is that?
 
Didn't know the first thing about soccer. Then I learned that, essentially, the players play the entire game without being substituted for to get a rest. That gave me a whole new appreciation for the athleticism required to play the game!

Having said that, I'd still rather watch a faucet leak, lol!
 
shecky said:
To be fair, the rant was based on hipster soccer fans, not soccer.

What exactly is a hipster? I'm too old to be in that demographic, I'm sure.
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Modern day beatnik but super trendy and they love vinyl records

image-2548160032.jpg


image-924108810.jpg
 
shecky said:
To be fair, the rant was based on hipster soccer fans, not soccer.

What exactly is a hipster? I'm too old to be in that demographic, I'm sure.
Click to expand...

I think a good way to put it is that a hipster cares more about the image what he's doing/liking projects than actually doing it. i.e. They like to be thought of as liking soccer, and it doesn't actually matter if they like the sport itself or not.

also see: Most New York Yankees fans.
 
shecky said:
To be fair, the rant was based on hipster soccer fans, not soccer.

What exactly is a hipster? I'm too old to be in that demographic, I'm sure.
Click to expand...

Sorry not the OP but the other long winded bs that was types later
 
Ceetar said:
I think a good way to put it is that a hipster cares more about the image what he's doing/liking projects than actually doing it. i.e. They like to be thought of as liking soccer, and it doesn't actually matter if they like the sport itself or not.

also see: Most New York Yankees fans.
Click to expand...

Or Ref sox, Cowboys, niners, lakers
 
Nice diagram. I do give myself haircuts, but that's only because it's cut 1/8 inch all around. Saves a ton of money. The rest does not apply in the least.

Ceetar said:
I think a good way to put it is that a hipster cares more about the image what he's doing/liking projects than actually doing it. i.e. They like to be thought of as liking soccer, and it doesn't actually matter if they like the sport itself or not.

also see: Most New York Yankees fans.
Click to expand...
Ha.
Punity said:
Or Ref sox, Cowboys, niners, lakers
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Hey. :mad::p
 
shecky said:
Nice diagram. I do give myself haircuts, but that's only because it's cut 1/8 inch all around. Saves a ton of money. The rest does not apply in the least.


Ha.

Hey. :mad::p
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haha sorry i calls them as i sees them. I know when the Red Sox come to seattle for their series ill see more Boston fans then im sure are even from near the east coast
 
Punity said:
haha sorry i calls them as i sees them. I know when the Red Sox come to seattle for their series ill see more Boston fans then im sure are even from near the east coast
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There are a lot of "pink hat" Red Sox fans. Not me. I can name the starting lineup from 1975, dammit.
 
shecky said:
There are a lot of "pink hat" Red Sox fans. Not me. I can name the starting lineup from 1975, dammit.
Click to expand...

Its not your fault haha, blame Ben Affleck. I have a coworker thats a boston transplant and i pitch him S everytime any Boston team comes up for a playoff run or just when the Sox start out uber slow
 
Punity said:
Sorry not the OP but the other long winded bs that was types later
Click to expand...

Alright so it was a bit of a drunken joke that I was reciting but are you really going to argue with me that if our best athletes were raised playing soccer and could stand to make as much if not more playing it than their current sports then we would be good at soccer? Come on, America's soccer players our not the cream of the crop in our sporting world. They do have superior endurance than a lot of other athletes, but if our most gifted athletes would have been raised and had a life long training by playing the same game they would rock it.

And I don't think I need to know anything about soccer to know that if it paid better here and was more popular then we would be better at it.
 
Doubt it what makes them good at one sport does not mean they translate to others.
 
cmybeer said:
Alright so it was a bit of a drunken joke that I was reciting but are you really going to argue with me that if our best athletes were raised playing soccer and could stand to make as much if not more playing it than their current sports then we would be good at soccer? Come on, America's soccer players our not the cream of the crop in our sporting world. They do have superior endurance than a lot of other athletes, but if our most gifted athletes would have been raised and had a life long training by playing the same game they would rock it.

And I don't think I need to know anything about soccer to know that if it paid better here and was more popular then we would be better at it.
Click to expand...

Your last statement is asinine. If you nothing about football then how do you know we would be the best
 
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