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  1. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    That's good news, isn't it? More people who ARE infected than we expect - but who are not in the hospital system - mean that a higher percentage of folks we get it are asymptomatic. And if more people have it already that we believed, perhaps we're closer to the herd immunity threshold...
  2. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    Who are you, Bob Kraft's defense lawyer?
  3. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    Gonna need those life insurance proceeds to pay next semester's tuition.
  4. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    "How come I can never find Johnny Carson? Is the Dick Van Dyke show on tonight?"
  5. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    You don't look a day over 78! Or a pound over four hundred.
  6. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    It's faahkin' Babe Ruth all the faahk over again. What ****ing Broadway production do those sh*tholes need to fund this time? "Oh, we're so ****ing poor, we can't pay the best, most charismatic player in the league who happens to be only 27 ****ing years old! And we're going to charge more...
  7. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    Not nearly enough "faahks" for the actors to sound remotely realistic. "You cant paaahk ya faahkin caah there, you a*shole!"
  8. the_bird

    Welch's Wine - First try

    A little more than ten years, I think.
  9. the_bird

    Imperial Porter recipe

    Aging the beer for FOURTEEN years also does wonders.
  10. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    I'd suggest putting Paulie on the first flight but then you'd need a couple extra rockets.
  11. the_bird

    What the hell is the difference between a porter and a stout?

    Did somebody just "like" a post I made twelve ****ing years ago? The real answer, the difference between the styles; no one knows, no one cares. The origin stories are almost certainly made-up nonsense.
  12. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    More of a Winston Wolf guy myself. Junkyards versus pig farms.
  13. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    "Would you like your usual eighty dozen, sir?"
  14. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    Eh... dunno. Not a lot of free weekends this month, not sure if I can disappear next weekend.
  15. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    And you, like an idiot, were dressed in shorts and a wife beater IIRC. Don't they have weather.com out East?
  16. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    Winter's not THAT bad in Vermont. Mud season lasts about nine months, though.
  17. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    That's what you get for reading. Idiot.
  18. the_bird

    The Dysfunctional-Palooza Obnoxious Masshole BS Thread

    Have you never heard of "turtling"?
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