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Okay, I can really help here. (Assuming you decide to keep the girlfriend.) Blue Moon? Here's what you do. Secretly pour her a bud light, then dump in the yeast dregs from your IPA. Stir and serve. No really, I can help. Steam. (aka Calif Common) This is real craft beer, the only style that...

No, not what I was thinking at all. Just get a new girlfriend. Irreconcilable differences.

Hain't been there. Go both days. Spoil wife the weekend before you go. Problem solved. What's next?

That one looks like trouble! Charging... charging... charging... GO! Enjoy. :-)

Yes, sort of. I doubled the dry hops, but also doubled the other hops, and I used 2 parts Mosaic to 1 part Citra. And I increased the ABV. So, you could say I made a different beer. It was a very good beer, but the honey malt was not detectable. I think your idea of increasing only the dry hops...

Drop in the chiller at flameout. I never heat while the chiller is in the BK. This saves some energy/money and chills faster too. No infections.

You're right, that seems goofy. You don't need to keep the water bath a constant temp. The beer temp is what matters, and you can't change that significantly with a small ice pack in the water bath. Add an ice pack, check temp in a couple hours, add more if needed, check temp in a couple hours...

No, the recipe clearly prohibits canned dog food. How are you going to clean anything with that? Batteries are a smart addition though.

Ha! Uncle Leo calls them antihopites.

I have a lot of experience with this. I have even more experience in reverse -- bottling at 7k and drinking at sea level. There definitely is a difference in perceived carbonation level, but my bottle bombs explode the same in either location. If I bottle a beer a little too flat, I try to drink...

I have not done this, but I see no reason it won't work. However, a frozen water bottle doesn't have a great impact on a water bath plus carboy. I would take the simple approach of adding frozen water bottles to the water bath directly. I have done that, and it worked fine. Your is more...

If you hate bottling that much, you must not be doing it right. There are many threads on bottling techniques. I prefer to fill 12 bombers at a time (one after the other) in a case with the top cut off, then cap. I bottle 7.25 gal batches, and it is fast and easy. I don't enjoy the cleanup...

I know! Right? Also sick of hearing about malt, water, and yeast.

I stopped using them because they're too small, but I used the strap hauler, and that was okay. Before that, I used one hand under for lifting and a handle to steady. Then I read the horror stories, but I didn't change anything. Then I started seeing the pictures of injuries and I found dog. Be...

First, the LHBS guy is great. Our policy: I don't ask, and he doesn't tell. One day, I say, "Hey, where's my favorite yeast, San Fran Lager?" They're out. He asks what I'm making. I tell him, then mention I use that yeast in lots of beers. He hints that I'm distilling, and I say, "That's not...

How does that first beer taste? Exactly. It tastes like another. Save half the bottling (well actually 10/22), by bottling bombers. Bonus: Fewer caps. Use a bottling bucket with a spigot. Prime with cane sugar. Put the bucket on a tall surface. Use a longish hose. Put empty bottles in a case at...

Fill head space with more beer.

Yeah yeah, bee keeper. Unless you have something contrarian to add that will stir the hive, keep it to yourself. :)

...but splurge once in a while, because they are delicious. Also, think how much you save, compared to buying commercial. Personally, I need to brew. Nothing in the pipeline. Ran out of homebrew, and resorting to drinking commercial to fulfill my habit. Ouch, my taste in beer is expensive.

I saw what you did there.