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I mean, a slug of diesel will do in a pinch, but I'd still rather drink beer.

Paulie's finally realized it's better to cremate the dead prostitutes rather than bury them under the shed. Smaller chance of matching their dental records. EDIT: What am I saying? Paulie's hookers don't have any teeth...

Paulie doens't have legs, he has hams.

Flagpole came down on top of him in the first windstorm, pinned his head inside the pizza oven. I can smell the fat rendering from here.

They take him out of cold storage once a year to play for the fogies at Tanglewood.

What is this, "date night" for you two? Tell him you want to go out to a NICE restaurant this time, no more "Netflix, Fluffernutters and Chill."

Hoppy knows all about celebrating championships. Hell, he was a Cowboys fan in the mid-1990s, and started rooting for the Yankees in 1998!

It's a big cost and it's a massively quick implementation. FWIW, the local hospital is saying they'd need to hire about 125 additional nurses, and there just aren't that many around (the local community college trains most of BMC's staff, they usually graduate about 35-40 per year). And as I...

If it's a cold "1", that nurse has never said "no."

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Hundred buck says that Pianoboy here couldn't get into Nebraska, and got his Associates Degree from Southeast Community College instead.

... Mrs. Paulie asks him for something large and erect and he puts up a ******* flagpole in the yard...

Alright, humor me. Why not just fly three flags off the one flagpole (like everyone else does) instead of this ridiculousness? Trying to keep the rope and pulley industries afloat by yourself?

It ain't nuthing to f*ck with.

Keep telling yourself that, dicktard.

Be nice. I just rounded you up to one-and-a-half friends.

Serve crap beer to your friends anyway because half of them are too stupid to notice, half are too drunk to care, and the other half are *just* polite enough to not tell you the truth?

Racist.

What the f*ck's all this talk about making beer? Who has the damn time for that? Just go to the store and buy it, idiots.

Another deep cut!