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When life gives you lemons, eat them all so you don’t get scurvy.

What’s the difference between me and Superman? Superman has super vision. I require supervision.

I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to my lawyer and said, "I want to sue the airline." "You don't have much of a case," he replied.

The turkey isn’t smart enough to pull the door open, so I think you’re safe.

I’ve been told to stop telling thanksgiving jokes, but I can’t just quit cold turkey.

Where do you find a turkey with no legs? Exactly where you left it

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede? Drumsticks for everyone on thanksgiving.

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son? If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy.

I don’t get why Marvel doesn’t use the Hulk to advertise more. He’s basically one big Banner

🙄

Rubin pizza. I’ve been making sauerkraut lately, and I’m trying to find ways to use it.

Lord Hobo merges with Maine’s Lone Pine Brewing

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe Flop.

I’m gonna have to try that.

What do you call a moose with no name? Anonymous.

How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away his credit cards.