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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVQOhIVcMj0 I go to Miley's house. I see that Miley's home. I play Miley's ribcage with my dick like its a xy-lee-phone...

By the way, when I joke about getting revenge for minor slights and affronts I like to use hyperbole to let people know I am joking. Had I gotten there first my advice would have involved anti-personnel mines, satchel charges and spinning knife blades. Perhaps Barbara Streisand blasting from...

I like the sprinkler idea. Of course, it costs you money, but may be worth it to protect your beer. Plus, unless you are getting egg-bombed by the Wicked Witch of the West it is unlikely that the water will cause the perp any manner of actual harm. We're talking super annoying and...

When she doesn't understand what you are saying (which is daily) she just looks at you and blinks. The most basic of concepts needed to do the job pass her by completely. She still doesn't know how to map a printer (she's been on the floor for over a year, and claims she "just doesn't print...

Colleague is a nice lady... but I have no idea how she still has her job or what it is she does. She's been working for the company for over 20 years, and has been an assistant for more than 40. Questions she comes to me with have included: How do I move "my internet" to my other monitor...

Also I admire your restraint... the "I think so Brain but..." comebacks I have thought up over the years can all get one a call from HR.

Yes on all counts. Adding the jalepenos to the beet brine by dre might be a good idea as well...

Not as obvious an answer as you might think... Chinese Tea Eggs are boiled and cracked and then brined in black tea, spices, and soy sauce for quite a while. When peeled, they have a spiderwebby look to them. Actually, Pinky, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

I'm thinking tin snips might be the way to go with that...

Dear Friends and Associates, Please stop boinking people other than the people you are supposed to be boinking. Sincerely, The Guy Who Helps Deal with the Fall-out from Said Unsanctioned Boinking

CBs shut (:-() but I'm told the scene is still alive and well.

I know I know I suck. Its particularly a shame too, because I was working right in the times square area at the time, and now Im banished down here in the... feh... Financial District.

Im not really sure of what roads we use, but we usually fly directly into Alpena. Makes it a little tough... and you are too stubborn to come to NYC :-p

Presque Isle. My inlaws have a cottage on Grand Lake.

Didn't we talk about this a few years ago and discover you were in the neighborhood of 6hrs away from Presque Isle? Or am I mixing you up with Yooper?

There was also a guy who might as well have had a neon sign over him that said "I'm from Kansas!" who presented a new metro card to the driver the terminal prior (where I got on). Difference here is the driver told him about the machine, he said "oh! I'll be right back!" and boarded the bus...

Im honestly not a fan of bread and butter pickles... but the view of that jar just made me happy.

These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I came up up with more secrets to tell you today These are my confessions Slip my mind the last two times Silly me, so now I gotta give you part three of my confessions First I told you about the skank that I was...

When I worked for Bear Stearns (yikes) about 13 years ago (yikes) someone somehow sent a rather unimportant email to the entire company. I think at the time there were @15,500 employees. That was bad enough, but then everyone and his brother sent a reply-all "I don't think I am an intended...

That's a good question, for which I don't have a good answer, which is why I was patient the first few times the driver explained. I wouldn't have even been impatient if she said "oh!" and ran to the machine to get her ticket while we waited. Since its just us though I'll let you in on a...