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Revvy's right, your beer is green. Also you didn't mention what kind of sugar you used, Cane sugar will give a cidery taste, Dextrose will give it a cleaner edge.

If you are going to dump it in the garden dilute it first, i almost killed a small plant with 2 doses of yeast cake. Preferably, dilute it and spread it out a little. Apparently spent grains make great bread.

It's not ideal, but i have pitched 330 ml bottles of US-05 slurry right out of the fridge and it's gone off like a rocket

It could be temperature fluctuations, i've had brews take off after a rise in ambient air temps.

I keep dried bread yeast in the freezer, if it's dehydrated it should be fine. Live wet yeast is another matter....

My missus started calling me the mad professor as i am always analyzing hydrometer readings and adding chemicals

I save the cake in a 2 liter PET refrigerate, pour off the liquid, pour into a smaller pet or bottle in a 330ml glass bottle and cap it. Refrigerate again, if you don't use it for some weeks you will find it will settle to around 100mls or less of yeast and the rest is liquid. Beware with this...

yes, you can bypass the airlock and put the blowoff tube fromthe carboy cork directly into a 2 liter pet bottle which is about 40% full of sterile water (with a bit of starsan is also good). It becomes a high volume airlock which has the capacity to absorb krausen should it blow through. Tape...

None of my brews ever goes according to plan but so far i have never had a dud, some of them needed more bottle time and one is overgassed but they are all drinkable.

My LHBS made a few slips with me, when i told him what my wife preferred to drink he said why would you drink that ****e. Another time i said i was going to rack and he said all racking was bull**** and created a chance for infection. Now i still buy from him as there are not too many to choose...

Keep an eye on your temps, that kind of thing often happens if the yeast is going too fast because the temps are too high. Remember that you want a good fermentation over a fast one. Blow off tubes are good

My opinions are that you need to adjust the ISO speed and turn off the flash, consider a lightbox for the subject and perhaps zoom a little more....

Well if you want i can come over and mess with your brew... but you gotta cover the plane ticket.... Anyhow you answered your own question it is "your brew" do what you want.. worst that can happen is u stuff it up and have to make another....

I think there is a bit more to this. The first bottle was green so it's gonna be gassy as the yeast hasn't dropped out.... Yes could also be the sugars, dex dme, cane sugar? what did you use? Did you add finings? Some people add isinglass or gelatin, this causes the yeast to clump up and drop...

Yup, but if you are worried about it, i suggest you box it up in a shipping crate and let me know when it is ready i will PM you my address. Ship it down under i will ensure it is tested for quality and then disposed of in a biodegradable vessel guaranteed to filter all the nasties out

Did anyone mention "LEAVE IT ALONE" You guys are like teenagers on your first hot date... everyone wants a home run... I know when i was a noob i thing i took SG readings daily... guess what??? It didn't clear any faster. Treat the beer like a girl, take it slow and finish strong!

yup it's only to clarify wont hurt the taste at all

Some additives you need to pasteurize first such as honey this involves raising them to a temperature for a period of time before adding. Some fruits are better frozen first to break the cell structure.. do a search, fair bet someone has tried it before..

yup that mix will work fine, being a stout it can handle the extra malt flavor, if it were a lighter beer i would reverse it and have more dex as a blonde for example you don't want to overpower with malt. PS if you want to boost the ABV then you can add more dex.

I don't secondary, most beers don't require it. Anyhow the beer will ferment in the secondary anyhow if the yeast wasn't settled in the cake then it got into the secondary anyhow. Also, don't assume that because you racked that it wont kick off again, this can be the case with racking as you...