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People bugging you for bottles of homebrew? Time to start kegging! I offer beer to anyone who comes by my place, but I have never had a problem with people expecting or trying to take advantage of it. If I'm having people over for the night doing some moderate drinking, my friends will still...

I would forget trying to mash in your boil kettle and just make a cheap cooler mashtun, it’s easier to keep your mash temperatures constant and your pot would otherwise need some sort of insulation. I know you said almost nil budget, but maybe you already own a cooler and then all you need...

Have other people tried your beer with the same result? Are you using beer kits with corn sugar by any chance? Maybe try a little higher OG and IBU and maybe try to increase the body of the beer with carapils or something.

Welcome! In my neck of the woods there are plenty of all grain brewers. DME is too expensive around here for all extract!

Is there an entry field there somewhere for package date? Sounds like it's assuming the yeast is very old.

IMO, as long as its spinning fast enough to keep the yeast in suspension and slow enough not to throw the bar, its good.

Johnnie Black Label. Currently away in the middle of nowhere at a work camp for the next week and a half, no good beer for miles and miles :( With that said I'm still loving my whisky!

Around 180,000,000,000 for a 5.25 gallon and 50 GU :cross:

All of the increased heat after boiling is directly going into energy for evaporation, so yes increasing the heat would increse the evaporation rate. I usually always turn my gas down just enough to get a decent boil to save gas, you need to account for these changes to reach your final volume...

I would like a carboy cleaner becuase I'm sick of bending that stupid brush over and over again trying to reach the krausen line.

What is your serving temperture? I usually keep mine around 7C. Do you get yours crystal clear or just semi-clear?

How long has it been in bottles? Is it still very cloudy? If its bottled wait at least a couple weeks, then at least a few days in the fridge and try again.

Next time try and make a blow-off tube. Clean your airlock again and put it back on (maybe loosely, if it pops it can damage your ceiling), hopefully the foaming will subside soon. Also keep your girlfriends finger out of your bunghole! At this point in fermentation there is that much co2...

Hot break proteins and such, completely normal. You can try to avoid getting them in the fermentor but it's not a big deal if they do. Ferment away :tank:

It's hard not to find HBT when searching for homebrew!

Yeah you're probably not going to be able to lager without good temp controls, typically you want it just slightly over freezing... I did see this recipe for a Pilsner ale in the recipes section that might serve well: https://www.homebrewtalk.com/f58/german-pilsner-ale-221631/ I've yet to try...

If it truly is 1.16 I would be very concerned. Did you taste it to see if its unbelievably sweet? That might give you an idea if your hydrometer is being wonky.

Well it would only be as clean as your hot water tank... maybe the water will have a little more iron than normal. I actually use hop tap water all the time when I'm getting my second round batch sparge water ready, but only since I got a new tank earlier this year. When I drained the old one...

It certainly works way better when cold, you would have to increase the pressure to get the same results I believe, I'm not sure how much though. Do you have time to get the keg nice and cold for a day before you head out? If your really pressed for time you can do the accelerated method by...

It won't ruin it, but you'll stir up any settled yeast for sure.