Step #1 should be to throw that perfectionist streak right out the window. Having a detailed plan like you do is great. But you just need to realize that brewing never goes perfectly according to plan, and ESPECIALLY not on your first attempt.
There are veteran brewers on here that have...
If you go to Home Depot or Lowes, you can buy an adapter that screws onto your kitchen faucet which gives it garden hose threads. It's only about 4-5 dollars. Then you can use your chiller inside.