You know you're a home brewer when?

Hilarious!

 

When your 2 year old daughter can pronounce "Beer" perfectly... Usually followed by an appreciative "Mmmmm!"

She loves watching the airlocks bubble almost as much as I do.

 

When every bar you walk in to you think "this place would make a nice microbrewery".

 

Whrn you start to avoid bars cause they don't carry any 'decent beer'.

 

When you drive over a bridge in the middle of winter and see the ice forming on top of the river and think. "Man, that's a lot of beer infected" only to realize its the Niagara River in February.

 

When you`ve gotta clean 100 bottles tomorrow.

Cheers

 

I do this all the time lol. Then a smack from my fiancé because im readig to much.

 

When you go to a swinger's party with a cooler of homebrew, and you pay more attention to the beer than to the naked people.

To be fair, I actually am working at those parties, and the beer is for when I'm taking my breaks. Don't ask.

 

Uh...mmm...Eeehh...uuhh..ok I'll leave it at that

 

Yeah, I'm not touching that one either.

 

oh, hails no... you can't drop sh*t like that and run away

 

Truth? Ah, what the fug*, why not, I can't embarass myself any more than I have already...

My father runs an online 'adult toy store' (presently offline for complicated reasons), and twice a month I help him set up his wares in one of the rooms at these hotel parties he goes to. Needless to say, I don't actually get paid for this 14+ hours of work, but seeing how I am currently unemployed and living under his roof (nominally to take care of him, but he hardly needs it), and I get into the parties for free, I can hardly complain (too much). While the parties are... lively, it gets old fast when you are spending most of them in one room, waiting for customers to come by, especially after spending 9 hours setting the place up. I while away the time drinking beer and soliciting taste tests from the partygoers, at least when I'm not trying to sell them stuff.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled thread, already in progress...

*With thanks to Norman Mailer's editors.

 

You're watching the bubbles in the airlock, fart, and feel at one with the yeast

 

Your wrap your carboy if your favorite childhood baby blanket

 

When you use the baby monitor to able to fall asleep to the sound of the airlock.

 

When explaining the chemistry/physics behind measuring specific gravity to your nursing student sister, you refer to the beer making process.

And apparently, the specific gravity of healthy urine is about the same as some of my lighter ABV beers.

 

I called my wife "beer" instead of "dear" this morning.

 

hahaha.....perfect

 

When you start complaining about getting "too much head"

 

^^ Hahahaha

 

Or worse....not enough

 

... you spend more time talking about your beer than actually drinking it.

... you give away more beer than you drink yourself.

... your stockpile is approaching the 200 gallon limit, yet you still plan for more brewing sessions.

 

When you still get excited about the giveaways & fire up ustream early!...

 

This isn't a "you know you're married when.." thread

 

When you order a Stone IPA at a restaurant, and your 6-year-old son says, "IPA's. Those have a lot of hops, huh Dad?"

 

If that's not a "That's my boy!" moment, I don't know what is. :rockin:

 

When you read Matthew 6:25-34, and you realize RDWHAHB is practically Biblical.

 

When you wake up in the morning, exited as a kid on x-mas, just to see yesterdays batch fermenting.
When you watch the Heineken commerical and realize you have more beer, a lot more beer.

(The 2012 commercial with the beer wardrobe) "heineken beer wardrobe ad" on youtube

 

When you have 2 batches fermenting,waiting to bottle the light one so you can wash the yeast for the next batch. And the stuff you ordered to brew it is still being "processed".

 

When you look at small warehouse space and day dream of having a brewery set up with fermenters/bottling stacks/boiler and your logo on everything

 

You get really excited when you see an amazon deal for a 2 night stay at the "Wort hotel" in your inbox.

 

For the curious.

When you completely stop buying booze, because yours is better anyway. :rockin:

 

Your wife divorces your cuz she walks in on you sticking it to your carboy.

 

Or worse yet, you think about divorcing her cause the carboy is more fun

Just kidding. Haha I can't help it if I have a twisted sense of humor

 

Hahahahhahahahhaha remind me to never drink your brew lmao

 

How do you fit it in?

 

Thought about it but I didn't want to stir up the yeast cake.

 

THAT'S a homebrewer!

 

Goodness, how many times do we have to say, Sanitize, Sanitize, Sanitize