You know you're a home brewer when?

When you find your wifi signal to weak in the brewingshed and you end up crawling in the foundation of your house to install a UTP cable from the front of the house to the end of the garden in the shed.
After that you start wondering 'the plastic tube is big enough, I can put in a garden hose so I have running tap water over there' .. and so it happened

 

When your morning run is faster than any other day because it's BREWDAY!!!!

 

When you're more concerned about house temps this time of year 'cause it's brew season again!!

 

When you're both outraged and intrigued by the latest Buffalo Wild Wings commercial that makes fun of homebrewers.

(Hmmm, I wonder if sniffing my krausen in my carboys actually WOULD help me know when its ready?!....)

BTW, I do NOT endorse BWW!

 

When a thread comes up that embodies the soul reason why you became a home brewer! UK Freak,this is directed at you!...

 

Not that again... Gotta lighten up. Just a joke.

 

When you put a handful of roasted barley and MO into your smoker because you ran out of dry hickory and you intend to use them on the next brew day. Should be interesting.

 

You wonder: "would kmeta keep my jack-o-lantern fresh until halloween?"

 

...you think about aging a beer in your pumpkin instead of carving it up for a jack-o-lantern...

 

You get the last corny keg you "need" and the next day you're back on Craigslist because you decide that you actually "need" one more.

 

You start planning what beer you're going to brew for your 7-year old's birthday party in April.

 

You stop having people over because you don't want to waste your beer on THEM.

 

Your night stand is an old carboy box.

 

I just got woken up today by my airlock popping like crazy. Best alarm clock ever.

 

When you pour water into a pitcher for drinking and try not to splash because you might oxygenate it.

 

You make up questions with made up words about beer during Battle of Sexes ... and the women's team believes you.

Btw, if anyone asks, "spitznaggen" is a variety of hop.

 

certifiably awesome.

 

When you get on Amazon and all their suggestions involve homebrewing equipment or ingredient kits...

 

When you do research to see if bird seed would mash well [no it wont]

When the bird and squirrel population has tripled, just from your dumped grains in the back yard. Then you think maybe I could hunt them with my pellet gun and save on buying meat... I really need more fermenters.

When a lady friend comes over and asks why your house always smeels sweet like youve been baking, and you show her a sack of grain and a SS pot.

When you call the grocery store up and tell them that {insert favorite apple orchard here] has a great blend this year and they need to put in a triple order, and they do.

When you know all the local orchards phone numbers by heart.

When you have a key bowl buy your door because at this party your butsting out a 12% braggot that is deceptively sweet and tasty

when you 3 year old son calls an glass container a carboy, or knows what it means when you tell them to go get your hydrometer.

When you switch to 1.25 gallon batches just because you like to brew 2-3 times a week.

I got more but my glass is empty

 

I WILL steal this...

Very nice move BTW!

 

Not only do you sniff your airlocks, but you can actually convince other people to get down on the floor and sniff them too.

 

Hahaha. I've gotten a couple of friends to do this.

 

When you get into philosophical discussions about beer.

 

You have no milk in the fridge but 1kg of lactose powder in the cupboard

 

You have nightmares you ran out of beer!

 

When you look at krausen and pellicles and think, dang that is going to be delicious.

 

You use your old long plastic spoon to mix up oxyclean and soap in the clothes washer as it fills.

 

You can spend hours reading a forum about "messy blowoffs," "gushers," and "reproductive stages," and never once think a dirty thought.

 

lol, good one! yeah, showing a non-brewer a fermenter at high krausen invariably results in an "ewww gross!" comment. loving the stuff is a sure sign you've turned the corner :rockin:

 

When you can't wait for your home brew to be ready because it's better than store bought.

 

When you look forward to Fall because the ambient temperature in your apartment drops to "fermentation" temperature. (65F)

 

When you're sitting around on a Friday night hitting refresh every two minutes waiting for Hopsdirect Citra.

 

When you can pour a homebrew without getting a "yeast bomb" at the end of the pour. Even after drinking a few.

Or you pour commercial beers so as to not disturb the yeast layer that is not even there

 

When you are sitting around on Friday night hitting refresh on this thread

 

When you leave a party with more bottles than you brought

 

This might be more of a new brewer one.

When you create three new threads asking questions for your first all grain, not realizing most veteran brewers have answered this question on about a dozen other threads. It took me about 2 months to discover there is a search button here, so I know I am guilty of this.

 

When you clean your garage only to get ready for a brew day

 

Ha. Everyone was guilty of this at some point. It was mind blowing when I realized 99% of my questions have been asked and answered years ago.

 

You're at a party and take it upon yourself to wash out everyone's empty bottles.

 

You wake up to your girlfriend yelling "get your buckets out of the tub, I need to take a shower!"