You know you're a home brewer when?

You know you're a homebrewer when you stop a boil-over through sheer intimidation and will power.

I'm glad SWMBO wasn't home to hear me yelling at my wort.

 

When my wife told me we were expecting another little one, and I stood there silent for a moment. She asked why I wasn't saying anything and when I explained that I was trying to figure out what I was going to brew to hand out in place of cigars, she hit me in the shoulder. Not the response she was lookin for I guess.

 

When you try for the 100th time to get that root beer smell out of your bottling bucket.

 

When you dry hop your Kombucha.

 

1) When your coffee maker says "ready to brew" and you think "yes, yes i am..."
2) When you try to convice your 3 year old to name her stuffed otter "Maris"

 

Awesome.

 

Really? Was it anygood? Lol id try it.

 

+2

 

When you can't wait to get all the stuff you need to start brewing again with your 1st PM.

 

when you drink your brew faster then you can make it!

 

How about when you HAVE to drink your brew faster because youre running out of spaces to put more.

 

This is why we now have a stuffed heifer named Patty around the house.

 

I would say the EXACT opposite, actually!

You know you're a homebrewer when you *can't* drink your beer fast enough (to free up fermentors, kegs, bottles, space, etc). When you have to give away almost 90% of your brews JUST so you can brew more frequently!

 

It's wonderful. I used cita and had my wife smell it-she knows nothing about beer. She said it smelled like mango!

 

When you are home alone with SWMBO's kid and you sing her to sleep with...

Tomorrow we will brew
Tomorrow we will brew
Tomorrow is IPA day
And brewing we will do

(happy birthday style)

 

When you have 4 fridges and 3 freezers but only 1 freezer and 2 fridges don't have kegs or fermenters. But, they do store hops!

 

You make your second batch, before the first one is out of the fermenter.

 

When beef flavored ramen, looks like hot break.

 

It's midnight, your back is killing, you're exhausted, but you have to finish cleaning 40 more god damn bottles.

 

I've been there. Before using oxiclean too so it too a long time. Now I keg so no biggie. Once you get a large enough collection of bottles shouldn't be a problem provided you rinse after use or attach a bottle brush to a drill

 

Get some buckets. Rinse the bottles. Get some Oxiclean. Put in bucket with hot water (as hot as you can stand putting your hands in). Put bottles in bucket fully submerged and let soak overnight. The result is bottles that are clean and just need rinsed (a couple times). Then put rinsed bottles in another bucket with Star San solution.

 

The wife was looking for a flashlight. I told her there was one on top of the beer fridge. Her reply..."which one?!?!?"

 

That's what I've been doing without problems, but for some reason this time I'm getting a bunch of bottles with a cloudy ring at the bottom of the bottle. It's driving me crazy.

 

You know when you're a homebrewer when your mind is blown by the simple yet genius idea to put a bottle brush on a drill.

Also, when you check Craigslist everyday for the elusive Sanyo 4912.

 

I use a muck bucket,it will hold 60 bottles,then use a double blast bottle washer,with it I've only had to rinse once.

 

When you are making chili for today's cookoff, and decide to write down a detailed time schedule for hot pepper addition, you know, so you have the perfect balance of hot and flavor. Then you start your boil timer to make sure you make your hot pepper additions at the correct time.

Brewing really is taking over my life.

 

When you're stirring your coffee and think, "Hey! Whirlpool. Time to add my cream addition."

 

When you pour out the bottles, make sure you slowly pour it out rather than dumping upside down. I realized rings when I was brewing a week or two ago and that worked for me

You know you're a home brewer when you've got 3 bathrooms in your house and your swmbo share one and you and your wife share one. Gotta have a beer lab!

 

Sister wives, eh? Niiiiiiice.

 

How'd you work that one out? The swmbo and the wife, not the private bathroom.

 

. . . you’ve ever used a mop on a ceiling.

 

When you don't even get carded when you go to pick up packages at UPS and when the ups workers ask how your brewing is going and what is fermenting.

 

When you mix your cream and sugar/sweetener together in your coffee cup before putting the coffee in to ensure even mix...

 

I may or may not have been drunk when I wrote that!

 

Hey, I was doing that BEFORE I was a homebrewer.

 

LOL..I was mind singing it "The Farmer in the Dell" style. Which actually works as well!

 

You have beer in your kegerator but have to drink bottled micros because you have promised "just one growler" to a friend.

 

You pull you lunch out of the microwave and notice the condensation on the lid of the container and think "Oh no, DMS!". Then you realize its just leftover chili.

 

you started to notice off-flavors in water.

 

You laugh like a mad scientist when you've finally dialed in your efficiency. SWMBO still doesn't understand why I got so excited when that happened.