You know you're a home brewer when?

...you find out that instead of getting your car back from the shop tomorrow, it will be whole other week, you hop on your bicycle & brave a few miles of treacherous highway, all to go to your LHBS to get supplies to make beer.

I had a backpack stuffed with DME, base & specialty grains (making a last extract w/mini-mash batch, a winter warmer), bottle caps, oak chips, & cacao nibs. It was kind of awesome. Stopped off at a bottle shop on the way home for a couple of special brews for tonight, as one has to drink while making beer, yes? But just a couple... no trouble.

 

Dude, it sounds like my and my wife's version of getting a christmas tree.

One thing I've learned from her: if it's not an adventure, it's not worth it!

 

This is what I cant seem to explain to SWMBO about why I cant start my brewdays at 10am

 

No pics this time, but my brew-bro showed up to watch me make this batch, so he can know what to do for his batch! We had a few, including a Boulevard "Early Riser" coffee porter, a Founders "Azacca IPA", and a hoppy red from Pipeworks called "Blood of The Unicorn", amongst a few Yuenglings.

My beer is gonna turn out awesome, I know it is!

 

That's on shelves now? SWEET. Tried it in the tasting room back in October and have been looking forward to it ever since.

 

When you're watching the primary debates and wondering when the moderators are going to ask if whether or not the next president will continue making homebrew inside the whitehouse.

 

When you are in a restaurant with friends having a beer on tap and your first reaction is the carbon dioxide is set way too high for the style you are drinking.

 

When you wonder why you thought we wouldn't understand CO2.

 

Because in my head it isn't CO2. It's carbon dioxide.
Much like in my head it isn't H2O, it's water.

 

When you've read all 589 pages of thread you know:

* Comparitively, you're not as obsessive about home brewing as you feared.
* JonM's Rorschact signature is in the top 3 funniest things you've ever read
* You don't know what #Redbully means but can't be bothered to find out
* Blackislandbrewers signature always makes you think of Walter White
* Unionrdr is a fiction author who writes about home brewing; or so I've just read 50+ times
* This thread has been remarkably on topic all this time and now you've read it all your kind of at a loss...

 

Back on topic:
* When you watch your wife rinse your daughters hair in the bath and immediately think of sparging

* When you explain to your buddy who's just shared out a Longneck (750ml) of your brew amongst three people that he's totally screwed the third guy because your not supposed to pour out the yeast

*When on a multi- brewery tour the guides spend the most time talking to you and hooking you up with extra info and tastes

 

If you're at a loss after this thread, you might need another homebrew.

 

You discover over the weekend that nearly every friend youve made in the past 2 years has you in their phone as "Brewer Bryan" or "Bryan Beer" or even just "beer dude". Even SWMBO hasnt changed it...

 

Can't say you've been drinking all day if you don't start in the morning...

 

#redbully

Bother to find out

http://oldoxbrewery.com/2015/02/dear-red-bull/?age-verified=cb536a9218

 

Replace pictures of your kids with your favorite beers

 

When you prefer your own beer to a high quality micro.

Just opted to open a bottle of my Brown Porter, over a Great Lakes Blackout Stout.

 

When SWMBO blames any problem in the kitchen on beer brewing no matter how improbable.

Water under the counter on the other side of the room? Must be wort.

 

When your uber driver says "dude I've picked up a lot of strange things that people bring with them, but you're the first with a keg". I politely asked "you want a beer?"

Also when your background on your work computer is a picture of your brew rig instead of your newborn son.

 

Huh. What do you know. I always assumed it was some kind of stupid crap; not a good cause

 

I'm happy to find out I'm not the only person that deals with this! Dirty counter top? Must have been my brew day that didn't involve anything on the counter. Splatter on the stove? Must have been my brew day that used an outdoor burner. Beer bottles everywhere? Must be... wait, yeah that one is my fault.

 

I oft ask mine to run through her root cause analysis process for me, as (weak) correlation does not equal causation.

She doesn't like that either.

 

What about when there isn't even correlation?

 

The correlation between me brewing/drinking and hazardous messes spontaneously occurring about the house is pretty damning. Im the one paying the bills and mortgage though so Ive never caught any flak. Just growing concern for my safety

 

The correlation is you are the man of the house. The only option is to just jump into action and fix what broke. Do not attempt to fix/correct swmbo you have been warned!

My favorite example: I go to get a beer for dinner from garage fridge and return to table to start eating. I may possible be in the wrong for not offering to get the wife a drink even if it might be a coke in the kitchen fridge. Correlation is the act of getting a drink not the location of drink choice.

 

Reminds me of something my uncle told me once when I got blamed for something at a family gathering. "You're going to have to come to terms with something. You are an adult, and you are a man. Therefore everything is your fault." Sage advice.

 

Not sure how much this applies, but I came with my father to the hospital today. I grabbed my coffee, phone, and my book on "Yeast".

 

Yes, and how it varies during the year....

 

Every once in awhile you buy commercial beer to save the pipeline.

 

When it is about to ice/sleet/snow and while most people are worried about getting milk and bread (totally ridiculous) I'm only worried about making sure I have what I need to get in a brew day this weekend without having to go back out.

 

or you're in deep enough that you dont need to ask yourself that question.....and then order more stuff anyway

 

I'm all stocked up with 11#s of hops and a sack of 2 row. I just still have to go to the LHBS to get my specialty grain. Plus I don't want them to think I've had some terrible accident because it has been more than a few days since I was there.

 

Good idea, exactly what happened to the poor guys at my store until someone told them where I was

 

The mark of a true brewer, when everything is going to s**t the first thought is "but what about the beer".

I hope no offense was taken to me making a stupid joke, I had no idea.

Glad you're still brewing with us today!

 

When ever the move The Dark Crystal comes up in conversation or is on TV you think "SRM 117"

 

You have to make a 14 hour tow of a race car near the absolute limits of your truck and your most important concern is if the 15 gallons of homebrew can ride in the trailer or does it have to go in the cab to avoid freezing.

 

You need to be awarded bonus points for a Dark Crystal reference!

 

That time I wrote an essay for a scholarship competition while in med school and spend the extra money I won on brewing hardware. The administration was oddly supportive when they found out.

 

****, all this time I've been more impressed with the tagline
pick "u" and "dv" however you want. Either way, you wanna put a "+C" at the end or you gonna get yelled at

as a math major geek person (but Yeah!)

 

When you use homebrew bottlecaps as pasties on your girlfriend