turbo yeast diluted sugar wash wine coolers

Alright, so my family is a bunch idiots with no taste and don't like beer, I at least thought that my dad the coffee addict would like porters and stout, but no. They do however like wine coolers. So here is what I'm thinking, take a high gravity sugar wash add turbo yeast let it ferment to 20% then take a gallon of the sugar wine, put it in a keg and dilute it with 4 gallons of juice, fruit concentrate, cool aid, or something like that. Now I don't have any experience with turbo yeast but, what concerns me is that I've read on here that turbo yeast produces some really bad off flavors. Would diluting it with juice cover up these flavors. also I've read that filtering the sugar wine can remove some of the off flavors. Does anyone have experience with filtering turbo sugar wine?
P.S Sorry if I should have put this under the wine section, but my question is more about the yeast so I wasn't sure which one I should have posted this under.

 

I have no experience with turbo yeast, but this sounds horrible. I would continue to make incredible craft beers, maybe some recipes that may interest the novice beer drinker if they have had a couple wine coolers, and maybe they will cross over to the dark side. What you're proposing sounds like prison wine and will probably cement their position that they hate craft beer.

 

Pretty much this. Let them buy their own crap, eventually something will click.

 

Don't do it! Try this, tasty stuff.
http://www.homebrewtalk.com/showthread.php?t=199385&highlight=skeeter

 

It can't hurt; it probably won't taste much different than commercially available wine coolers!

 

gets my vote

 

Maybe they'd like a shandy instead? Brew a nice light pale ale, american wheat, or cream / blonde ale, and then dilute with fresh squeezed lemonade.

Another reason to not do your original idea is that a lack of hops will result in rapid generation of off flavors (besides the crappy flavor it would start with). I had a friend keg 5-gal ginger ale with nothing to stabilize it. Was good for 3-4 weeks and then started noticing bad off flavors - ended up dumping 3-gal, since only he and his wife were drinking it.

 

There's a product called Spiked Seltzer that's literally sugar wash, a little flavor, and carbonation. To me it tastes just like it sounds, but maybe your family will love something similar.

 

I've tasted just a high alcohol sugar wash and it tastes likes non-flavored wine using the turbo yeast. However, it goes slowly (weeks in my experience) to get to 20% and usually higher temps <75F) are needed.

I think adding some strong flavors from concentrate or cool-aid, as you suggest, would work fine. I also have experience removing off flavors with activated charcoal and as long as you move the fluid through the charcoal slowly, and once you start draining don't let air back into the column, you should be able to notice a difference.

I recommend doing a smaller text batch first, to be sure you can drink the mixture you create.

 

A few years down the line . Did you by any chance come out with a solution??
Have to provide "coolers" to a family function in a few weeks and want to try and keep as much cash in my back pocket as I can .

 

Don't use turbo yeast. If anything just do the macro process: make something in the range of 8-8.5% and dilute it. Add whichever flavors you'd like and backsweeten as necessary. Use a champagne yeast and add nutrients if needed.

 

i've used turbo yeast. and even running it through a still it tastes bad. might be urea.

i have since stopped using turbo in favor of a wheat germ tea for nutes. but have seen they now have urea free versions.?

to make 'coolers' i used to make a gallon of 65%, water it down to 10 gals and add kool-aid mix.....