Things a Homebrewer Thinks

Just start with java stout. You can't get it wrong then.

pb

 

"Why is that guy driving around with a mash tun on the back of his landscaping truck?"

 

"Man it would be nice to have more room in my bedroom closet for brew equipment....Maybe i should move some more of this clothing?.hmmm."

 

"If my girlfriends asks why my wort chiller is on the dresser i guess i could tell her its functional art"

 

THIS is my ongoing mental dialogue each time I have a bottle of brew!!

 

"If I ever went pro, I'd never be an icehole like Larry Bell or a total tool like Sam Calagione."

 

Uh huh huh,huh...he's cleanin his bunghole...huhhuhhuhhuhhuh,huh. Just read that in another thread. He was worried about a dirty bunghole in regard to a plug...

 

Shopping in a grocery store. Sees an item I wouldn't typically buy for cooking.

Thinks...hmmm, maybe I should put that in the next batch of beer.

Keeps moving.

 

Good question. I usually wait until noon.

 

I see a 5 gallon bucket on the side of the road, I think...."maybe that is a 6 gallon bucket, I could make another fermenter out of that".

 

Now I know why I Don't brew lagers, I can hardly keep a pipe line of ales going!!

 

Use the 4 hour rule: wake at 09:00 drink at 12:00, wake at 06:00 drink at 10:00, wake at 04:00 drink at 08:00.

 

"Man, I'd really love to turn the garage/basement/shed into a pub so that I could put up some cheeky brewery signs and drag a ratty couch in there and build a 7-tap system with free-flowing beer to serve to my friends who would be coming over all the time ... also I need to make some friends."

 

I really like this batch...are they being polite in their compliments, or do they really understand the subtleties of the style I just nailed?

 

"If only I could quit my job..."

 

"Don't worry about them, they don't have as sophisticated of a palet as I do..."

 

When the pot of coffee is empty.

My general brewing rule is I don't start drinking until I'm boiling wort, even if I'm really ambitious I can't get drunk enough to screw up the batch.

 

THAT is a good rule of thumb. I'll stop putting bourbon in my coffee on early brew days from now on.

 

When you run out of Irish for your coffee?

 

Me: "Brew Day on Saturday!"

Roommates: "O where having a party?"

Me: "No no no just a free brew lesson and tasting for anyone who's interested."

 

"How am I suppose to drink my homebrew, if I keep inviting other people to drink my homebrew??"

 

How the heck can I pay off one of the big bills so I can brew more beer?! I need a bigger pipeline! :cross:

 

The mediocre porter I made a few months ago was shelved and almost forgotten.

It suddenly tastes great when there is nothing else to drink.

 

Mom asks "When are you and Marci having kids?"
Me: "What are you talking about, we have 10 gallons fermenting now isnt that enough?"

 

Just had this one: "I can't drink Mon-Thurs because I am on call for work... Which blows... This however is likely a good thing because otherwise my bottles would never condition to their potential"

 

This only replace roommate with wife

 

I gotta quit telling the guys at work when I brew. They all expect free 22oz'rs now.

That cuts into MY beer supply.

pb

 

My problem is I try to convince people to homebrew themselves and usually that involves inviting them to try my beer. Doesn't help when you have stupid commercials like Buffalo Wild Wing's trashing homebrew.

 

I have the opposite happen. The people I work with will buy the ingriedents and have me make it. So in the end I expect the free 22s.

 

It's not something a brewer says, but something a brewer's neighbor says:

The neighbor's wife smells a strong, sweet yet fairly pungent aroma on the air and says, "Ken must be brewing again."

 

It never fails, everytime I brew, I find some kinda tweaks I need to make. Some major, some minor.

pb

 

I follow the thread. "My weldless build using a strut"...yet whenever I read it, I think it says, "My weldless build using a slut".

 

[working on plans for our finished basement so searching "basement brewery build" on HomeBrewTalk]

"I feel completely inadequate. And poor."

 

I hear ya!!!

pb

 

That's just goofy.....everyone knows you need at least 2 sluts, 3 is best, but at least 2.

 

I'm going to sleep on the couch, so I can listen to the blow off bubbles all night.

 

This- and we don't usually do basements in my neck of the woods.

 

When I see people throw bottles away in the trash, I'm assured that they're going to hell. Same goes for buckets, refrigerators, tubing, and growlers.

 

Sees store with eight racks of BMC to one rack of craft and imports, complains to management.

 

Same here ill tell them to just bring them my way my local bar saves all his pry tops for me