Things a Homebrewer Thinks

"I have everything I need to make great beer and don't need any more equipment.... oooh, what's that? Me likey."

 

Here is how I think:

"I am never going to drink everything I brew by a long shot, but if the society ends then alcohol will be a valuable trading commodity so I better brew a few more batches just in case"

 

"I think I hear my yeast summoning me."

 

I wouldn't have to brew so much if I didn't make such damn good beer.

 

Somebody stole my pants!

 

Time moves more slowly when you are waiting for the last batch you bottled to condition.

 

I hope that my yeast is doing well.

(Usually said laying in bed the night after a starter is put on the stir plate.)

 

I'm not sure what I should change next time. I better try another pint for scientific purposes.

 

I wonder if the lager that I brewed, immediately before leaving town for the week, is fermenting yet.

 

"Sure, I keep a strict ketogenic Paleo diet... Except for my daily beer ration, of course."

-Rich

 

What are you all doing in my head?!?!

 

"That new craft beer sounds good but I think I'll buy something with an easier label to remove."

 

6:00 am "ouch, I'm gonna take it easy tonight...."
7:30 am "better throw some bombers in the fridge for when I get home..just in case..."
3:00 pm "Oh snap! It's $6 growler fill day at Boneyard Brewing, good thing I have an empty growler in the car..."
4:00 pm " I sure have some stupid thoughts at 6 in the morning..."

 

I wonder if my homebrew will help me kick this cold?

 

Why can't 5 gallons make a full 30 bombers? This math thing just isn't fair...guess I will just have to brew more.

 

I tried to cure my cold last weekend with BMC (well, Batch 19). Sure hope your house stuff works better because now I feel like a coyote chewed me up, swallowed, then pooped me off a cliff.

 

Funny, I bought a sixer of Batch 19 this weekend for the first time. It was actually pretty good for BMC. I took some ribbing from my friends drunk wife for it though (he is a pro in Chicago). He liked it too, for what it's worth.

 

Wasn't bad. I really wanted an IPA that night and Batch 19, believe it or not, was the closest thing the place had.

 

Do my friends drink all my beer faster than I can brew it because its as good as I think it is, or because its free? Or....do I just need to brew bigger batches and more often?

 

It's beer o'clock somewhere. (i get the strangest looks from neighbors when I get done working my 12hr shift at 6:30am and come home sit outside and drink a cold one while grabbing a smoke). It's almost like they find it odd someone would be drinking at 6:45am

 

A nice pint of brown ale goes well with a full southern breakfast of biscuits and grave, sausage, eggs, and hash browns.

Framboise and waffles goes well together too.

Not that I drink that early that often.

Um, anyway, I'm

 

Half the thoughts I have, I can't even say out loud. People would have no idea what I'm talking about, and would probably just think I'm crazy.

 

I can buy 2 oz of gypsum for $1, or a pound for $2? I can definitely use a whole pound...

 

Same thought process with hops, but toss in a foodsaver because otherwise its just a waste.

 

I should really buy a few craft beers the same style of what I just brewed so I can see how mine stacks up. Two or three six-packs should do.

 

I got sick I guess my BAC was to low to kill the germs. I'll have to up my levels.

 

To prevent another boil over I should buy a bigger boil kettle.

 

"No cold or flu this year, I attribute it to homebrew....Lots of vitamin B in that yeast you know...."

 

At the store, "Hey, this sixer looks good, maybe I'll give it a try. What's this? Screw tops? F that beer!"

 

If I run an extra couple miles...that means...MORE BEER!!!!

 

But honey, I had to buy that beer at the store for research so I know what style I want to brew next.

 

Heh, I know exactly this line of reasoning. My wife doesn't help, with her insistence on hot toddies for sore throat treatment.

-Rich

 

Yep. I'll have all nine of my kegs with beer in them (4 totally full, 2 basically full) by the end of the week. But I'm brewing this weekend, and with a two-week turnaround on that batch, I need to buy more kegs ASAP!

 

Or drink faster--don't want your BAC to drop & get sick!

 

Running low on bottles....need to run to the the store and buy some more beer.

 

The excruciating mental math; "I have X number of full bottles and X number of empty bottles. I will be brewing in two weeks. How many bottles do I need to drink before then, yet not run out of beer?"

 

Whew, worn out from brewing and bottling. This is really great exercise.

 

Brew more brew more, keg, drink, burp, sleep,....repeat.

 

"Man, I'm glad I've been working out... Hefting full fermenters and kegs is so much easier now!"

-Rich

 

"I can't imagine why someone would think brewing beer looks illegal"