The "Dear" , "Sincerely" thread

Dear holidays,
It's time to be over,
Sincerely,
Green skin, red hat, and much less fat are all I need.

 

Dear icehole,
I want out. Now.

Sincerely, Chinese food.

 

Dear Chinese food,

We are going to require several washes to feel clean again.

Sincerely,

Shirt and pants.

 

Dear Wife,

Yes, I picked a 9F day to paint the door to our uninsulated cellar requiring it to be left open for hours.

Sincerely,
Brilliant Husband

PS. This is what happens when I have to take two weeks off at home with our daughter.

 

Dear brilliant husband,

Ha! Ass.....

Sincerely,
Winter.

 

Dear winter,

I replaced the really expensive odd sized tires on my wife's SUV, bought a snowblower, threw away the 4 broken shovels from last winter, replaced them with a nice heavy duty shovel, and bought 2 new snow suits and boots for my 3.5 year old son... So why is there nary a flurry???

Sincerely,
I see what you did there winter....

 

Dear az,
Just you wait.

Sincerely,
Winter

 

Dear Everyone Else,

Just get your entire winters worth of snow in one week like we do. It's painful but over much faster.

Sincerely,
Buffalo

PS.: I kid.. Lake effect scheduled for 3pm.

 

Dear Buffalo -
You are indeed a great town with terrific beer history. On occasion I miss you. But not today. I prob won't need to wear socks today.
Sincerely, Sunny South

 

Dear HBT,

Prepare yourselves for some drunken snow angel NYE pictures.

Sincerely,
THIRSTY

 

Dear new year,

Please go easy on me this go around... this past year was a bit of a b!tch and I have big plans for this coming year.

Sincerely,
Scoob.

 

Dear United,

Please do not cancel my Orlando to Santa Barbara flight during my layover in Denver when it's 9F out, you can't pull my luggage for me, and I'm forced to spend the night with shorts a T-shirt and flip flops as my sole clothing.

Sincerely,
Officially frozen balls

 

Dear Hot line
Why did you feel it necessary to blend in with the field fence knowing I had to pee really bad. You electrocuted me and made my small but working thingy tingle and hurt like thing before. I would rather get kicked in the balls b a herd of elephants that that have that much voltage hit me where it really hurts.


Sincerely Man with really sore Thingy and not in a good way

 

Dear Electro- Wang,
Ahahahahahaha!!!
Sincerely, Sorryforlaughingatyourpain

 

Dear flu.

Thank you for wrecking my New Years eve by making my 3 year old sick.

Aches and congestion I can deal with crabby sick kid up all night is ok too, the barfing everywhere I could have done without, and the barfing ON the dog I could REALLY have done without.

Sincerely,
Carrying a barf covered old dog upstairs for a bath is less than awesome

 

Dear scoob,
Be thankful you weren't the dog.
Sincerely,
Could have been worse.

 

Dear Champagne,

Never again.

Sincerely,
My Liver



Dear Roman Abramovich,



Sincerely,
COYS

 

Dear Boss,

As much as I will learn from spending the next 7.5 hours scouring HBT, I would much rather be home right now.

Sincerely,
I'd rather be productive...

Ps. Dear internal clock... it is Friday, not Monday. kthx.

 

Dear IT department,

Thanks for taking today off after a brand new VOIP phone system was installed earlier this week... I will be solving every issue that is in the building today because of it.

Sincerely,
Theatre Manager with enough IT experience to be very dangerous...

 

Dear Peoples of the Internets,

Defiantly is not the same as definitely. I know spell check doesn't catch it... it's up to you, the user, to have some idea of the word you're trying to spell. If it doesn't look right, sound it out.

Def - I - Ant - Ly. No, that's not quite right, is it?

As much fun as it is to read about you defiantly pouring a pack of yeast in your carboy with your fist in the air, I don't think that's quite the image you're going for.

Sincerely,

The Grammar Police

 

hehe

 

Dear Sunny South,

F you for rubbing it in...I miss you...

Sincerely,
Recently Moved From Clt to Pgh.

 

Dear Phoenix,

It's currently about Colder-than-a-well-digger's-ass degrees outside... and I still don't miss you.

You god-awful city.

Sincerely,

SoDak4Life. #Englishismyfirstlanguage #trafficsucks #hotterthanhell #attemptedmuggings #stolemyroommate'struck #****you, seriously.

##

 

Dear recently moved from clt to pgh,

I'd take 5 feet of snow over this cold, rainy, crappy weather and day of the week.

Sincerely,
It looks like the embodiment of depression outside my window.

PS I still giggle when I see Charlotte shortened to clt.

 

Dear Recently -
Defiantly rubbing it in.
Sincerely,
SS

 

Dear all those hash tags,

I lived in the Phoenix valley for 15 years and couldn't find much wrong with your post or tags.

Sincerely,

Phoenix can eat a fat bag of d!cks.

 

Dear Universe,

Remind me not to binge on Thai curry after a funeral.

Sincerely,
Curled up on the sofa sad and in pain.

 

Dear Curry,

I win again.

Sincerely,
Stomach

 

Dear Curry,

Please be nice to me when my employer sends me to India for 3 weeks...

Sincerely,
Don't want to experience the Curry Cleanse

 

Dear Curry Cleansed,
You had better start practicing now.
Sincerely,
I love curry

 

Dear I Love Curry,

Goddammit now I want Vindaloo.

Sincerely,
I also love curry, and I'm hungry.

 

Dear Grammar Police,
Report back to HQ. You are out of your jurisdiction.
Sincerely,
The Spelling Police

 

Dear assholes talking about curry,
Stop. It's late and I defiantly want some.

Sincerely,
I defy my stomach, gurgling already or not.

 

Dear @$$hole,
Sorry to tell you, curry burns twice. We had our fun, now you'll get yours.
Sincerely,
Mouth and stomach.

 

Deer gramer po po!
Gets a life, spel check oftin chages word wiftout peopo notising. Their ar far beter thangs too bitch aboot.
Sincerely
Didn't make it a week without being a d!k because someone with superior reading and writing skills and the time to proofread everything feels the need to bitch about spelling, again!

 

Dear Embodiment of Depression,

It's pouring here too...

Sincerely,
But it's supposed to be colder than a witches tit in less than 24 hrs...

 

Dear winter,

Thanks for the snow!

Sincerely,

I'm sure I'll change my tune before spring.

 

Dear curry freaks,

Please start a thread with recipes

Sincerely,

The hotter the better

 

Dear grammer police

View attachment 1420392228465.jpg

 

Dear Hotter the Better,

I would start a thread, but my kid thinks A1 is "spicy". Until I fix that, I only get to enjoy curry at restaurants.

In Curry Purgatory.


Dear Vindeloo,

Remember: only lager can kill a bad Vindeloo.

Sincerely,
Red Dwarf