Most annoying response when you tell someone you're a homebrewer?

I started brewing after my step dad passed. He loved beer and I’d give anything to sit down and share one of my home brews with him now!!

 

"Will you marry my daughter?"

 

This is one of my biggest pet-peeves when I share beer. I always say to pour it out and when they ask why, I simply say, "it's just the chemistry." Have had to explain this so many times that I just avoid the long-winded rant.

Trust is, most people don't care about drinking something properly or if it tastes wrong due to that fact. They just want to drink the damn beer.

 

I have gotten to point that drinking a 1 - 2oz, isn't enough to pass judgement. (Unless it's got a really bad flaw.) Having it in the right glass and at least 6 to 8 ounces. The head needs to die down, the gases bubble out, and the beer to warm slightly. Not to mention ponder several tastes that you get as you drink the beer casually over the next 10-20 minutes.

 

To me, this is just another notch for good reasons to keg. People have to come drink your beer and you get to supervise the experience. I only give bottles to people I trust will respect the beer/experience.

 

I'm so glad to hear someone say this. To me, I need to have a whole big swallow for me to get a sense of how a beer is. Is it satisfying to take a big good drink? Do I want to do it again?

This sip and swish around the mouth stuff has never worked for me. For others, maybe it does.

 

This depends a lot on the beer for me. There have been many brewfests where I was glad to only have a 2oz pour...

 

I've poured 2oz samples out.

 

I'm also particular to having the beer in the right glass. I was at the Map Room in Chicago and ordered three Schlenkerla Urbocks (Rauchbier). The bartender got three bottles and three glasses. They were typical pint glasses. I asked him to grab goblets or snifters for the beer. He told me its not the style since it a lager. (Odd that he knew this.) I'm like yeah I know. I told him this is a very aromatic smoked beer I want my buddies to get a good sense of aroma in this beer. He obliged and grabbed some St Bernardus goblets. I told him we all love to smoke food and this was real treat. He got a 20% tip. I think each beer was $9. He also handed me a pint glass of pretzel rods to boot.

 

For me, I can’t stand it when the conversation goes like this:
“I brewed this weekend.”
“Nice! Did you get drunk off your brew?”

First of all, it’s days or weeks before it’s ready (citing several earlier comments about a perceived “Instant Beer” miracle)

Secondly, and much more importantly, I have hundreds of pounds of stainless steel equipment, two propane burners, open flames, fittings that pinch, sh*t that can cut you, sh*t that can burn you, chemicals that will melt off your skin, and heavy keggles that you need to move with care, not beer muscles.

I rarely, if ever, drink anything while I brew (and if I do, it’s at the end long after flames are out and I’m just hosing stuff down). That’s all anyone needs is to explain to a spouse, an ER doc, or coworkers about how an accident happened.

 

One of my favorite brew fests is the Southern California Homebrew Festival. 35-40 brew clubs each with an EZ-UP tent and their bar, typically serving at least 10 and often more unique beers throughout the course of the day. So 500+ unique beers on tap. It's about an 8 hour fest, unlimited pours, so you need to moderate.

I've had some amazing beers at the homebrew fest. But it's homebrew, and there are certainly quite a few poured out during the course of the day. After all, it's a full day of drinking, and I'll usually ask for short pours anyway just to keep myself from getting too drunk. I'm certainly not going to choke down substandard beer when I can be spending my waning sobriety on things that actually taste good.

 

truer words are rarely spoken

 

I get the usual "instant beer" comments. My favorite however, and one that for some reason I get quite a bit, is:

"Oh, you homebrew? Do you let it age real long and get nice and alcoholic?" <Insert some story about someone they knew who homebrewed and you could get drunk on one bottle of that stuff>

 

I'm to the point that I don't even tell them. I've heard every annoying idiotic comment and don't want to hear it anymore. I hang at a local micro-brewery that has either beer geeks or home brewers so this is rarely an issue now.

 

When interviewing, one of the questions that I was asked was the normal "tell me about your hobbies" and I mentioned that I homebrew. The response by the interviewer was along the lines of "a few years ago we had someone who we terminated for an alcohol problem, how do we know you don't have a similar problem if you brew beer?" I did not end up working at that place.

 

Problem is that it’s typically family members or coworkers who tend to be myopic; both groups require respectful responses—best thing IMHO is to encourage them to change their thinking about beer and/or homebrew, that mastering it is an art to be respecting like cooking or baking. And that craft beer in general supports hundreds of thousands of local, small businesses. What’s better than manufacturing a foodstuff people love with your hands?

 

In explaining things, I also stress the fact that brewing is pretty much exactly like cooking. I usually get to that after a few questions to which my answer is either "it depends", or begins with "well, SOME people think so...", or "I don't know why that matters."

Example:
"So why do you have to cool the wort down rather than just let it sit overnight?" "Well, first, it depends on the beer you're making. If you had significant late hop additions, their effect will be very different if the wort remains hot for a long time. If you didn't, then it might be OK. But some people think you should never do this. Why not? Well, I know there are good reasons for this, but I'm not sure what they are."
Makes it sound like none of us really knows what we're doing. But, to my point, you could have an exactly equivalent conversation about virtually anything *cooking*-related.

"Why do you cut up whole garlic bulbs rather than use the pre-cut ones from the jar?"......

 

Next time this question pops up during an interview, ask them if they would also automatically be suspicious if you got an eating disorder when you told them you like to cook.

 

Wow. I think you dodged a bullet by not working there.

 

“Well, let’s see...I spent 100’s (if not 1000’s) on equipment, a brew day is 6 hours, and it takes 10 days to a few weeks, or maybe several months even before I can drink my beer...”

Seems like a lot of work to get drunk!

 

I can't tell you how many times I try to explain things to folks just to have them walk away scratching their heads or worse, shaking it. The problem for me is that it seems like I can't explain this without first explaining that but to understand that you have to first understand something else...

So I tend to tell most folks it's like advanced canning. You have to process what you are about to can (ferment), carefully package so there's no infection (bottle, keg), and then wait for the "flavors to meld" (conditioning). And no, I no longer try to explain bottle conditioning in any other way than "Well, chow chow tastes a lot better after it's been in the jar for a while." Most seem satisfied with that. If I try to explain carbonation I have to get into the whole yeast eat sugar and fart thing or force carbing a keg and that's when the head shaking often begins, so yeah, to them, it's Magic!

 

This annoys me. I often prefer some beer directly from the bottle. To my palate, the flavors are brighter, and the carbonation is better preserved.

The differences in flavor between what I perceive directly from the glass versus what is perceived in the palate is negligible to me.

 

That would irritate me, too. Its an ignorant assumption of overindulgence.
If I like to cook should I be fat? Dumb question from someone who doesn't understand the creative process and only sees one side of the issue.

 

I've gotten away from drinking beer in a bottle. I love my 1L Paulaner mug so much, I got two of them.
There are beer styles that have to be appreciated for their special qualities at different serving temperatures. Some are better with certain types of food. Others fill you up and another leaves you wanting more. If it's good, two ounces is never enough.

 

My patience tires of people not understanding, or being judgemental. If somebody was really interested I'd take the time to explain this to them.

Most of time its asked out of curiosity rather than true interest in the hobby. For this reason I don't waste my time. You often get facial expressions and body language that tell you I don't care what you're saying, but they are being polite and letting you talk. Behind your back they are thinking "I'd just buy the beer and not waste all that time. That's stupid. I have better things to do."

I'm like screw it. I'd rather not have the aggravation.

 

I can't imagine the comments to me saying that I smoke my own grains to make rauchbier. I imagine they'd say, "You what? Smoke grains.... you get high on grains or something? - What's rauchbier?" It's comically stupid.

 

"Sire, I brought you a rauchbier."

"Thank you. Nice. You brought me a rauchbier... What's a rauchbier?"

"Well Sire its a smokey beer made with Beechwood Smoked Barley."

"Take him to the pit of misery.... Dilly, dilly"

"Yeah, dilly dilly"

"Dilly dilly"

 

Exactly the reason I F'n hate those commercials. As if I didn't already have a sour taste when it comes to Bud (pun intended ) in all its iterations, let's market directly to people who think that this thing someone spent a great deal of time, passion, and energy on is worthy of torture while we drink our swill. Dilly motherf%@kin Dilly a$$hole.

 

My bad, thought this was in 'Drunken Ramblings and Mindless Mumbling'...maybe it should be!
Rabble rabble rabble

 

What, like in the bathtub? It always reminds me of "Water? Like from the Toilet?"
Or,
You must really like to get drunk since you make hooch?

 

That.... ^ is why don't tell people I home brew.

Not thats it true, I like to drink and never run out of beer. Those effers are just jealous. lol

 

I only find it funny because of all the lemmings in the kings court. Its kind of true to how people think, its becoming less of the case though. I drink at a micro brewery for this reason. At some time Bud/Miller/Coors Brewers will be on the receiving end when its appropriate to show somebody pissing in the kings royal brew. I'd like to see that done by Sam Adam as the Boston Piss Party where all the colonists piss in his vat of beer. Then shake their dick and say here's to the king, dilly-dilly. HA - THAT WOULD BE FUNNY!!!

 

I have that mug too. And an elaborate collection of beer glassware alongside of it. The glassware is mostly just the result of numerous glass packs. I just find it counter-intuitive of some claiming to appreciate/enjoy beer when they have this long list of pre-requisites on how they consume it. "Correctly matched to style glass to be cleaned by polynesian virgins on the third day of the summer equinox, heated/chilled to 37.268 degrees farenheight. Beer to poured from exactly 4.674" above rim, rested by turning in a circle three times. First sip prohibited before complete spectroscopy color analysis is completed. Discussion of flavor must include descriptors of things like dark fruit and artisinal breads before second sip may be partaken." Meanwhile, while that one is still analyzing things 40 minutes later, I'm on my second or third glass.

I mean, I get it. If that is what it takes for YOU to enjoy a beer then by all means, you do you. Just don't insist that I have to also before I can understand what I am drinking.

Only thing that confuses me more than some of this beer-geekery is the wine tasters who have to make the water whistle noise while taking their sip.

 

I mock those kinds of people

I catch their attention, then put my glass up to my EAR and LISTEN to my beer and with a raised eyebrow of approval, I take a sip,

look down my nose at them, give a snort of arrogance and tell them they don't know sh!t about craft beer

 

HaHa. I just smile and nod and order another.

I did once mock a good friend of mine who loved to throw around his BJCP certification. He ordered some obscure craft concoction and dove in on his analytic dissertation of it. I mocked him by doing the same to a Budweiser when he thought I had ordered a Craft Pilsner.

 

That's not nearly as bad as having to listen to a BMC drinker shame you about your choice of beer.

 

Been there too. Blissful ignorance was easier to excuse than pompous dramatacism.

 

I'm sure it's been said umpteen times in the previous pages but I always tire of being asked how much money it saves me.
UGH! I don't do it to save money, I do it to be able to make whatever I want and have the proud feeling of having made it myself. It's the same reason I grow my own veggies and flowers and cure meats. I'm certainly not saving money but I have a smile on my face.

 

YES! EXACTLY!

My biggest pet peeve is when people say to me "You're just looking for a cheap, quick and easy way to get drunk". Um, there is nothing "Cheap", "Quick" or "Easy" for that matter about any of this. My reply is most generally, "Nope, that's what the vodka bottle is for!"

Now that I have turned it into a business, other than getting to try samples, I very rarely get to drink anything we produce... unless I order one at a bar where we are on tap.