help me to clarify in a hurry - swmbo forcing me into stealth brewing mode

so...swmbo has cut me off from brewing due to the ever growing honey-do list...what is a homebrewer to do? marathon brew session while she was out of town for the weekend a few weeks ago, and hiding carboys in the basement/garage! now, my saison is down to 1.005, so I figure time to bottle. unfortunately the beer is warm, and muddy looking, and she is having a girls night out tomorrow night. perfect timing to bottle if I could clarify my beer a little. so, any hope for bottling tomorrow? I have polyclar and gelatin on hand, but it would likely mean less than 12 hours before bottling. should I
a) bottle as-is, and screw clarity...it is a Saison after all
b) try gelatin or polyclar in the AM, and just rack/bottle tomorrow night
c) leave it in the carboy and wait for the next opportunity to do some stealth homebrewing/bottling

 

If you have the ability to crash-cool the carboy to below 40F (closer to 32F is better), that should settle enough of the yeast to bottle in 12 hours.

 

inform her that she is not your mom and she doesnt run your life

 

It will clear fine in the bottle. About the same time your testicles fall.

 

Ask for your balls back?

 

As a fellow occasional (though I try to make it as occasional as possible) stealth brewer, I vote choice A.

 

Oh, can't let mom know about the stash... she would be soooooo mad.

Is time-out bad in your house?






After you've stuck your nose in the corner for 5 minutes (it's like a lifetime, I know) you should just crash cool.... followed by nap-time.

 

She has a 'honey-do' list for you and she is going out with the girls? I gotta agree with some of the comments above...... Don't rush your beer.

 

I would never have to say that to my wife. But if she "cut me off" from something this sounds like something that I would say with a " uh, I don't know if you remember but" to start.

 

Please refer to SWMBO says.... thread for the path you don't want to take, sack up man, get the honey-do list shuffled in with some brew days, and in my house when a honey-do is scratched off the list, mama must "pay the piper", she gets her stuff done, I get my "stuff" done too. its a good system, I don't mind the list...

 

+1

The folks saying "get your balls back" and such are either single or are married to a mouse. I like a woman with some attitude. I freely admit that if left to my own devices I would brew all day, drink beer all night, let the yard go to crap, let the house become a dump and probably end up with some formerly extinct disease due to lack of general sanitation (except for my brew equipment... gotta have SOME standards) in my life. I get to do what I want, but she makes sure I also have to do what I need as well.

Things like homebrewing can become an obsession as well all know. If his wife has a honey-do list and wants it done before his next brew, then it's probably stuff that needs to get done. Women are smart. Smarter than us sometimes. When my wife sets priorities, I listen because usually she's right!

If you're rather marry some ditz that'll let you do whatever you want and not say boo, that's your choice. I'd go nuts with a wife like that. I like a woman with a SPINE!

Sorry to go off on a rant with this, but it just starts pissing me off anytime someone posts anything about their wife and people come back with the "don't be a *****, just tell her how it's going to be" bull****.

 

I am unbelievably happily married to a woman with a spine and I am firmly in the grow a sack camp.
If you have to "stealth brew" or drink "one beer a night" you do not have a wife, you have a warden and that is utter bullshyt.
And while we are on the subject, if you have a honey-do list beyond the shared duties of the house you have already lost your masculinity.
Left to my own devices my house would be 5 minutes from company presentable at all times, my garden would be weeded, lawn mowed AND a batch would be brewing.
A marriage where one spouse controls another is doomed. I know, I USED to have one.
And... while I am ranting, how come she gets to tell him how its going to be? Isn't that bullshyt as well?

 

I don't see her as controlling him and calling all the shots. I see her as needing things done around the house. He never said she doesn't do her share as well. My wife does a lot around the house. She just expects me to do a lot too and I don't blame her a bit. And when I'm brewing more than helping, she calls me on it... as she should. That's all I see this as.

I'll freely admit that left to my own devices I'd have the garden full of weeds, the lawn overgrown and 30 batches brewing.
I love my wife. She keeps the house in order, the checkbook balanced, the bills paid and my ass in line when it needs to be.

A marriage where one spouse doesn't listen to the other is just as doomed as one where one controls the other.

 

Maybe sack up is too short a reply? I'm married to a dishwater blonde, but her personality is all redhead.

I've made it a point from the start to prevent my brewing from interfering with my household duties. I mow the lawn the day before or the morning of brewing. The 5 year old "helps" me brew, relieving the wife of those duties. I've made it a point from the start to have a brew on tap at all times that will appease her palate. I do my best to involve her in the hobby.

It doesn't hurt that I'm a pretty good bargain hunter and being a brewer has opened my eyes to lots of great deals which I've made a pretty penny on. Nor does it hurt that I do my best to support her expensive hobby: dogs.

In short: reevaluate your role in the household. Are household/ bread-winning duties fairly distributed? If so, are you slacking on yours? If you need to sneak around and "stealth brew" either you're not performing your duties or your nuts are in a vice. Either way, you need to man the **** up.

 

Let me clarify my statement before as well. Yeah, I think the one beer a week SWMBO was way too much. I just get annoyed that when anyone posts anything about their wife saying anything other than "yes sir, brew some more" the response from the first dozen replies is "man up, grow some balls and tell the b**** you'll do whatever you want" or something along those lines. Didn't mean to dump it all on you guys specifically. Just something that's bugging me. I don't like women who ride their men's back any more than the next one, but I don't like men who think that a guy that listens to his wife is gutless either, and I seem to see that pretty often here. Marriages go two ways.

In this case, I'd say that you take an afternoon, clear out the honey-do list of what really needs to get done, hand it back to her and let her know you'll be brewing a double-batch tomorrow.

And Curtis, I'll see your redheaded blonde and raise you a Latina!

 

wow. if nothing else, this has made me feel very lucky.

 

Seriously? He is hiding his brewing. If he has to have her permission to bottle a batch of beer and is wiling to jump through hoops to do it when she leaves the house he is under some control. And it is more his fault than hers.

 

Thanks for the armchair marriage counseling, but the post was meant as somewhat a joke to elicit quick and plentiful suggestions to my issue at hand...if/how can I speed-clarify my beer before bottling.

I'd like to see more beer suggestions, and less "grow a pair" suggestions!

 

My two cents: complete as many items off the honey-do list as you can while she is out on her girls night. She'll be surprised and happy that you took the initiative on your own while she was away and will not care if you bottle a batch or two. It's all about compromise.

 

This is how I interpreted the situation as well.

 

Option C. If you push this batch (it sounds like you don't think it's ready), you'll end up having to budget an extra stealth brew session you wouldn't otherwise have to.

And as for my SWMBO: For every batch I brew, I brew a half-batch clone of whatever her favorite is at the moment. Her only complaint is when she runs out of beer; she accuses me of not brewing enough...

 

+1 on doing a batch of her favorite, this hobby being an obsession, and on manning up and doing your share of the honey-do list. As my grandma always said : Can't go out and play until your work is done.

On to the beer stuff: Gelatin will work in warm beer, but it works a lot better when the beer is cold. I have never used the polycarb, so I don't have an opinion on that. Since it is a Saison and you don't seem to mind that it'll be a little cloudy, I'll leave you with another grandma quote: A man on a galloping horse won't notice.

 

A picture says 1000 words.

 

i'd say to just bottle it as is and store the bottles with the other fermenters. it'll clear up in the bottle given enough time, and since you're on brewstriction right now, fifty or so extra beers showing up in the fridge may set off some alarms. as for all the marriage advice, best to ignore it. the view from the outside looking in is never very clear. you know how your marriage is and how it should be.

brew on.

 

I know a guy that has to ask his wife if he can golf and she says no often. This is why I don't play golf with him anymore.

You should give up brewing and do housework instead!

 

I'd like to know whats on the honeydo list....?

 

I agree these threads get bum rushed with "MEN" who "run their house the way they want". Let's face it, we don't know if he's been neglecting his house hold responsibilities and let his end of the relationship duties go to hell and she's been putting up with it for years and finally put her foot down that he NEEDS to take 5 minutes replace the front door lock because it doesn't latch and there is crime in the area and the front door leads to a hall way where the first room on the right is there newborn baby. Is is an unlikely scenario, but it just demonstrates that we don't know the situation based on his first initial post and he isn't just asking for some clarity opinions for beer, not how to make his marriage last and be a man.

Now the other thread referenced, yes, he gave us plenty of inclination that he needs to stand up for him self once and a while.

 

Um, nooooo. It's called mutual agreement/understanding and compromise. You know, one of the most important aspects of a happy and healthy relationship.

This dude, and the guy in SWMBO says are not being met halfway. I mean, this OP has to hide his hobby and do a honey-do list while she's out with the girls. Yeah, sounds like a real healthy relationship to me

 

See, I agree with you on the first paragraph, but not the second. Maybe we have a different idea of the honey-do list. If she has a few things around the house she wants done, then I don't see the problem with doing them and then brewing instead of leaving the list undone and brewing behind her back. Sure, if the honey do list is "build a second floor on the house" before you get to brew, that's a bit nuts but if it's "mow the lawn and put up a shelf in the utility room" that's not such a big thing to ask. And you make it sound like he's locked up in the house while she parties and does all the work. I don't remember him saying anything like that. I just see it as you do your share of the chores and then go ahead and brew. That is mutual agreement and compromise in my book.

 

That is how it works in my house, my wife and I share the chores, cleaning the house goes way faster if we team up and split the work, I get to do what I want, when I want, just as long as the household work gets done in a reasonable time frame, on the big projects, I get a "bonus" from the wife, That's incentive to get them done!

 

I like the way you think...and you are exactly correct in splitting them up and getting them done faster...then free time for you both.

 

Morbo requires the weak human woman to make him a pot pie.

 

My suggestion, gelatin and if you don't have access to a refrigerator, a swamp cooler with a ton of salted icewater for 8 hours or more then bottle.

As for the grow a pair discussion, I fully saw the OP as tongue in cheek and humorous. But whatever...

 

And this is you assuming that she too isn't doing anything herself. For all you know the OP hasn't done **** for 6 months while she's done all the chores and raised the 13 children. POint being none of us know his situation enough to judge him on it.
He asked a brewing question. Not for marital counseling.

 

No he didn't. A brewing question would have been "I have 12 hours to bottle my saison, what can I do to clear it up?" That's a brewing question. Instead he went into detail about his home life that nobody needs/wants to know about.

That makes him open to a wide range of marital/brewing advice.

 

Incorrect punctuation nonwithstanding, I agree. What's on the list that can be done quickly to appease the wife?

It's not about sacking up and defying the woman. I say sack up and do some work around the house so you can claim your rights as a man.

 

What's a "honey do list"? thankfully my marriage doesn't include those, and everything still gets done (including tons of brewing).

 

That's where I was going with this. Admittedly, my first thought was "What's on this honey-do list that he hasn't been able to do while he's had time to brew and ferment batches of beer in secret?" but I don't know enough about the situation to make a judgment either way. Just bugs me when the knee-jerk reaction of so many guys is that SWMBO's a ballbreaker for daring to ask him to do something other than brew beer.

 

Thanks to those of you who offered BEER suggestions! I'm crash-chilliing now, but can only get it into the 50's...I'll bottle and let it settle out the rest of the way in the bottles.

I definitely think some of you should start a site homemarriagecouncelingtalk.com

I thought I'd be a little more entertaining than just asking "help me filter/clear my beer for bottling in 12 hours". I've found that the more entertaining posts usually get a better/faster response. I was right, but folks took it *way* off topic.

...honestly my wife is pretty good as far as putting up with / accepting my hobbies...even encouraging them. She buys me gift certificates to the LHBS for birthdays/fathers days and even went to the LHBS to have my copy of Radical Brewing signed by Randy Mosher when he came to town! I didn't even ask, or tell her this was happening...I was out of town on a business trip and she had read that he was coming in the LHBS newsletter and knew I had been reading his book.

I'd challenge ANY of your SWMBO's to a) name a homebrew book author b) know the name/location of your LHBS c) read the newsletter they send d) put all of that together and surprise you with your book signed when you got home from a business trip!

pretty great! now, she's not totally onboard...she doesn't drink (but is happy to be DD when we go out or even to beer fests!) and doesn't like the smell of beer at all, so I usually try to brew/bottle when she is not home. she REALLY doesn't like the smell, but as long as I clean up after myself, we're good to go...

As far as my need for current stealth brewing, I promised to finish a bathroom remodeling project before I brew any more batches. I've been really procrastinating this project. The weekend she was out of town I didn't feel like doing remodeling work, but did feel like brewing, so I did a stealth brewing session (two actually)... The bathroom is still not done, but the beer is...so it necessitates a stealth bottling session. of course, if I actually spent the time I spent brewing working on the bathroom, I'd be done by now, but that's besides the fact...

 

most women....speaking strictly for myself, don't really care what you do ( lets be reasonable here ) after the things are done that are on the honey do list...if you just do them as they come up, there won't be a HUGE list, it will just be a couple things that can usually get done quickly...then you pull the ole " I'm glad WE got these things done...why don't you go treat yourself to a night out on the town with your friends, and I'll finish my homebrew, then we can spend tomorrow together." ...see how evil we can be!! LOL