Funny things you've overheard about beer

Dear lord are we still on that mathematics pissing contest!
All I see is 1/200 blah blah blah
1/346 blah blah blah I'm right your wrong blah blah blah

 

Mary Ann all the way!!!

 

This past Easter, I was at a family gathering and someone's uncle was there and he found out that I homebrew also, and he had me try his stout. It was tasty, but my family, being the mexicans they (we) are only like bud light, bud light lime, corona, etc. One of my uncle tried that guys stout and said to him "Oh wow, that tastes just like Sam Adams" I started laughing because I knew he meant it as a compliment, because to him that's probably the top of the line beer, but the guy's face was that of a mortified man, which made me laugh even harder.

 

On vacation right now and my mother in law, while having her heart in the right place, stocked the fridge for me with "those fancy beers" I like. So, I had to slam a bunch of Becks Saphire and Harp (neither bad beers for what they are) before I could politely go to the store and buy Jai Alai and Dogfish Head 60 minute, etc.

 

Jeanie!

 

And I'm going to quit.... maybe... OCD can be a *bitch* sometimes. (Except when it's fun. Or !both! ... sigh ... Apologies in advance...)

Well, yes and no.

Probability of p occurring in n tries =
1 - probability of p not occurring in n tries =
1 - (1 - p)^n

That's the absolute and complete answer and pure answer.

For a small n that's easy to calculate. But for actual number crunching with large n, it is sometimes easier to use:

1 - (1 - p)^n = n*p - (n(n-1)/2)*p^2 + (n 3)*p^3 - ....


Those terms get exponentially smaller and can eventually be ignored. If p is small compared to n then you can assume the probability is n*p. ***BUT ONLY IF p IS SMALL COMPARED TO N***. Otherwise you have to do the second and maybe third term as well.

Example: If p = 1/6,523 and n = 27, then P = 1 - (6,522/6,523)^27. Well, that's a *bitch* for floating points. But if I look at the second term of the series, I see that 27*26/3 must be *really* small compared to (1/6,523)^2 so I can assume that

P ~= n*p = 27/6,523. (but its actually a *teeny* teeny *teeny* bit less. n*p is always a little too big.)

That's safe. And *very* easy.

If p = 1/100 and n = 27 then P = 1 - (99/100)^27 is still a bitch to calculate. In the second term n(n-1)/2 is 26*27/2 and p^2 is 1/100*100. This terms are no longer insignificant. We must include them. But in the third term (n 3) = 25*26*27/6 and p^3 is 1/100^3. Those are insignificant (almost; the fourth term 24*25*26*27/2*3*4*5 compared to 1/100^4 is definately insignificant) So

P ~= 27/100 - 13*27/10,000.

(or if you're picky P ~= 27/100 - 13*27/10,000 + 25*13*9/1,000,000)

That's safe. But not so easy. But easier than 1 - (99/100)^27.

But when p is 1/4 and n is 6. Well .... P = 1 - (3/4)^6 = 1 - 729/4,096 = 3,267/4,096 is *much* easy and much more accurate than any estimate of:

P ~= 6*1/4 = 1.5 WRONG!!!
P ~= 1.5 - (6*5/2)*(1/4)^2 = 1.5 - 15/16 = 9/16 56.25%. Still wrong!
P ~= 9/16 + (6*5*4/1*2*3)*(1/4)^3 = 9/16 + 20/64 = 56/64 = 87.5%. Not so wrong.
P ~= 56/64 - (6*5*4*3/1*2*3*4)*(1/4)^4 = 56/64 - 15/256 = 209/256 ~= 81.64% and as 15/256 *finally* is small enough to ignore so I won't do the final two terms.

 

A lot of folks get alcohol percentage mixed up with proof. They think that 80 proof vodka is 80% alcohol. Which would mean that Bacardi 151 is somehow 151% alcohol.

 

Hey, what are the odds of the professor successfully building a radio out of a coconut?

 

Well actually, the odds of something happening are really related to the demand for the product and the price you have to charge to make a profit. Or was it the other way around? Oh I remember now! You have to boil a bud light until it turns black and then you get a Guinness with a super high alcohol content that is equivalent to an entire loaf of bread!

 

So I was out with a group for pizza tonight and one of the more mature women was salting her can of Busch light...so I asked what she was doing...she said she was giving the beer some flavor! The women next to her said "that's why I brought you the Bud light"...I just walked away.

On another note...I got the kids the Gillian's island dvd's...maybe because I'm older now...but I might be into ginger more now!
What are the odds on that?

 

Oh christ. Open a new thread and talk about your math there man.

 

One time I was outside with a buddy at work and we literally saw a moth land on the side of the building and poop. A little drop of something definitely came out its backside. Anyway, I said to my buddy "wow, what are the odds of us seeing that happen?". He goes, "100%, we just saw it". Touchee...

 

He just needs to drink higher ABV beers until the brain cells responsible for this go away.

 

"90% of football is half mental"

John Madden

 

Madden may have said that, but it is really a Yogi Berra quote..

"Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical."

 

Are we talking one night stand or long term relationship?

 

If its only one night, why not both?

 

Never thought of it that way...definitely Mary Ann for long term, she can cook.

 

Obviously, I wasn't invited.

 

Me either. Sounds like he really needs a better class of friends... ;-)

 

So I convinced my dad to set up a keg system at our bar downstairs on the basis that he buys the equipment, and I'll buy the ingredients and do the brewing for it. He comes home with the goods after a trip to the states and is showing it to me and my mom. My mom seems confused as to why he got all that so we're explaining it's for beer.

Then she says this little gem: "So what do you do, open up a bunch of bottles and pour them in?" Ohhh we were howling!

 

If it's Gillian's Island, gingers makes sense... but if that Duchovny guy shows up, I'm out.

LOL. How rude and understandable! I think I'd have done the same thing... though at the big family party I brought mine to I kept my smile and nod face on. ("This stout is really... stouty")

 

That's awesome

 

It was yogi Berra who said that. Forgiveness please

 

From an Air Force pilot, "I like German beer more than American beer because American beer has more fat in it."

What?!?!

 

I feel a well actually coming...

 

http://chartsbin.com/view/1156

Since Americans have a higher fat intake, on average, than Germans... their beer must follow suit.

"We" have had a discussion on probability... how about logic?

 

My brother says hefes taste like ham

 

I went to a Belgian beer tasting the other day. The woman giving it worked for the importer/distributor, and didn't know a whole lot about brewing past her script. For starters, she was another offender of saying "Belgium" instead of Belgian ("Next we're going to try a Belgium tripel." "This has special Belgium yeast in it"). She also pronounced Fuggles "Foogle". Please tell me I haven't been saying it wrong all this time.

I didn't want to be "that guy", so I kept my mouth shut for the most part, until an older guy asked her a question:
Guy: "Why does this come in an 11.2 oz. bottle?"
Woman: "Well, Belgium uses the metric system."
Guy: "Yeah, but why 11.2 oz. when most bottles are 12 oz?"
Woman: "I don't know. That's just the way it works out."
Guy: "But ounces aren't metric, and 11.2 is a weird number. Stella comes in 12 oz. bottles."

I could tell that for whatever reason he was really feeling shortchanged on that extra 0.8 oz, so I finally turned around and told him, "it works out to 1/3 of a liter." She looked relieved that I got him off her case.

 

Yeah and because of that, my family found out I homebrew. I am afraid to give them anything I make now. I will never give them an imperial stout, ipa/dipa, strong ale, or barleywine. That's for sure.

I think I learned that lesson a long time ago when I brought some bombers of three Floyd's Dreadnaught to a Christmas gathering and everyone in the family wanted to taste and everyone hated it and went back to drinking they bud light limes. My mom even said "that's too skunky" as she proceeded to drink a corona. Never doing that again haha.

 

My neighbor saw me brewing yesterday
Neighbor: You making moonshine?
Me: Nope, making some beer.
Neighbor: Wow, sounds like some good ol' Duke's of Hazard. Don't get caught.

 

Well if we're going there i'd have to say either Batgirl or Catwoman (Julie Newmar).

 

This whole thread flies in the face of logic

 

That map is neat. You can almost gauge a country's prosperity based on its fat intake with a few exceptions like Germany and Japan. And we Americans are just fat lards. (As I suck down a strawberry malt...)

 

I hear kind of comment all the time when i brew outside

 

I brewed a hefe this Saturday and had one couple walk by and say I shouldn't be cooking meth on my driveway. A lady also drove by slowly and took a picture with her phone. I was fully expecting the cops to show up but they never did.

 

Wow, what kind of person tells a meth cook that he should not be doing that in his driveway... and then just walks off. Will no one think of the children!

 

I know that people cooking meth aren't the smartest of individuals but you would think that if you were cooking meth, you wouldn't do it in your driveway for all to see. Call me crazy, but if I was cooking meth it would be well away from the eyes of the public.

 

It seems as the most ignorant voice is always the loudest.