Funny things you've overheard about beer

Can I quote this as a funny thing I heard about beer?

 

No, but you can quote it as something that's true.

 

I once heard a guy stereotype all American beer as hop forward, sour, bitter, nasty. Then he said he liked shocktop.

 

Then he admitted to drinking blue moon

 

I once heard a bunch of people on a beer forum say that they're not beer snobs or judgmental. Good one

Cheers fellas!

 

I once violated Wheaton's Law by pointing out that criticizing people and following it with a wink is also a violation of Wheaton's Law. Crap.

 

Or was he talking about American WHEAT beers, and did he say "often" or "all?"

 

I have a semi regular customer who used to drink a lot of DIPA's. One day he carries a 6 pack of some BMC up to the register instead.

"What's with the beer?" Says I.

"Someone told me that hoppy beer raises your estrogen levels, so I can't drink it any more."



I choked down a laugh and informed him that I've never heard of anything like that before and that I think he must be mistaken.

He went a good span before he comes back one day and carries a 4 pack of Victory Dirt Wolf up to the counter.

"I thought you weren't drinking DIPA's anymore?"

He alludes to the fact that he was rethinking what he was told and he cant stand having to drink a whole 6 pack to catch a buzz.

At this moment the devil on my shoulder whispered "Dirt Wolf is a fantastic brew, made with only the finest dirt."

Customer responds "They put dirt in this?"

"Yeah, Victory is an innovative brewery, I think they're on to something"

He walked the 4 pack back to the walk in and grabbed a different DIPA.

I didn't have the heart to tell him I was just ****ing with him because he was just that gullible.

 

Everyone else was being a dick, so I just figured it was my turn! There's a reason I come here instead of places like beeradvocate, but this kind of thread action makes me think twice.

I'll offer this to get on track (hopefully) from a friend of mine the other night. "No way, Coors light is better than Bud! It's crisper!"

 

Sure, I can do a brew with you, what are some styles you like. "Pilsner, Lager, Saison, Tripel etc."

 

Perhaps your statement should be worded differently then. As it stands, it sure as hell sounds like you are implying that American beers are all hop forward, sour bitter, and nasty.

 

My bad. What I meant was that the reason people dislike American wheat beers is because they fall into the American style of wheat beers, rather than European styles. American *style* ales are more hop forward, with more complex flavors that can come across as sour, astringent, and/or bitter. European styles of wheat beers are generally more malt-forward and often yeast-driven. (This does not include saisons, of course, which are not necessarily wheat beers.)

So, because of the mix of flavors that are often found in American *style* wheat beers, those beers tend to be nasty. The bottom line, though, is that beers that are hop forward and overly bitter (i.e. quintessential "craft" beer in America) are nasty.

Is that better?

 

This thread is the worst for dick behavior! Someone offers up something "funny," and someone else shoots it down. (Guilty as charged.)

 

Fair enough... more for me.

 

Guy I work with, big beer geek, has a friend who is a beer poser. This friend fancies himself as some sort of foodie/hipster but won't eat a bunch of stuff (meat with bones in it, seafood) and doesn't like beer.

However, that doesn't stop him from pretending that he does.

He'll do things like say he's on a list at the local bottle shop for the KBS release (bullsh!t, I know the buyer for the store, would never happen), or bring a six pack of Enjoy By, fill a glass, and let it die untouched on the table next to him. This "beer is cool" thing is getting annoying, I can't deal with people like that, battling obnoxious hipsters at the bar who actually drink it is bad enough!

 

Struck me as very odd and funny.

 

Not about beer, but about rum........

A friend and two of our co-workers were sitting around at this restaurant talking about different beers. I was drinking a Dogfish Head 60 IPA, and one of the ladies was asking me more about the episode of Brewmasters where they were making the Chichna, or "spit" beer.

They found the story somewhat gross but interesting after I (to the best of my ability) explained why they did this, but then my friend had to up the ante and tell them rum makers in the Caribbean back in the 1700s-1800s also did the same thing with sugar cane.

I just looked at him in disbelief..........

 

I just wasted ten minutes of my life watching your gif avatar

 

I pulled this from another thread....

"I drink Busch Light because I drink 5-6 a night and it doesn't wreck my budget.

And it's delicious."

This struck me as funny, not because it's Busch Light but because my buddy said the same thing about my spent grain dog treats!

 

Chicha.

 

I think I just died a little inside.

Had a new hire come through, they do this intro thing in the company newsletter where you list who you are/your hobbies etc.

Well, this guy has an apple orchard and specializes in making apple wine. I decided, "Awesome! Send this guy an email, hello fellow fermentor, what up?"

I told him I brew beer, this is word for word the first line of his email back:

"I do not care for dark beer so I have never tried to make beer."

/face

 

Did your reply have " and the horse you road in on." at the end of it?

 

He's just lucky I wasn't standing there in front of him when he said that.

My face wrinkled up three sizes that day.

 

Oh god, it is happening right this minute!!! I wish I could record this conversation. Two ladies at work talking and a sales guy joins in...

Lady 1: My husband wants me to start having a glass of wine with him at dinner. (derp?)

Lady 2: **glurrrrgggh** I love wine! I have this one, its like a zunfandell but its white. (wait, what?)

Lady 1: I just don't want the calories but if I did, I would drink white.

Lady 2: Yeah, thats why I drink Mich Ultra when I'm not drinking wine because its like no calories, but beer gets me so drunk. Like two of those mich ultra and I'm like woooo. But my friend drinks Sam Adams and she gave me one this one time and it tasted like apples. Girl I thought I was drunk just after one it was so crazy.

Lady 1: Why? Is it higher alcohol content?

Lady 2: Err..uh.

Guy: Yeah it is. Sam Adams is like a stout lager like guiness not an ale so it gets you drunk quicker.

 

Wow thats one hell of a reply...Perhaps tell him you make apfelwein and its better when you make it from store bought juice not that fresh squeezed stuff?

 

Lawdy, that gif tho.

 

I just spent like an hour mesmerized by this!
So much for being productive today!

 

Uh, yeah...slurp, gulp...we better have a meeting about that @ 11.

 

That reminds me of a time back in my server days....(reminisce with me)

I had a table of some very interesting individuals come in. The males all ordered Coors Lights, but one lady was insistent that she have some wine. The guys were giving her a hard time about it calling her fancy pants and all that. She got a little flustered at the ribbing and turned to me for help.

"I want a glass of red wine," she says.

"Sure, we have a very nice Cabernet, as well as..."

"No," she interrupts, "that stuff gets you too drunk. I want a light red, like a Pinot Grigio." (I'm translating from her native Backass South Carolina accent)

I'm trying not to laugh so the guys won't start up on her again, but I really couldn't come up with anything other than, "Well, that's a white, but I'll be happy to get you a glass."

She looked at me embarrassed turning to true anger and just kept repeating in her backass SC accent 'I want a Peanut Gree chee oh, bring me a red Peanut Gree chee OH!' She was actually banging her fists on the table. I brought her a glass of Cab, and she goes 'See? Was that so hard?' and glared at me the rest of the meal. Fun times.

 

Way to trick me into staring at my own gif for 10 minutes...

Yeah heard that @Snakeridge people are horrible. The restaurant I cooked at for a few years asked me to cook and wait on tables one time when it was slow for ****s and giggles. I wanted to stab people. Never again.

 

Maybe this goes in the 'Things about your coworkers thread' but after waiting tables, washing dishes, and cooking in restaurants for 10 years I really want to stab people at work now that think everything is a hassle. I just think to myself, "Well, a pre-diabetic mouth breathing land walrus didn't try to stab you with a fork, so no, work does not suck today. Sorry you had to put paper in the printer cause I was at lunch, but you managed"

 

It might be time to admit to ourselves that democracy is a terrible idea...

 

That one's beyond " You might be a redneck". Pinot is a white, sheez. I'm city & country, even I know that much as a beer guzzling, bourbon shlorking...part-time redneck.

 

I would much prefer everything being decided by a bunch of backass idiots and not by some elitist pinheads who think they should be the ones who decide what's best for everyone

And why is it always those who think things should be decided by a few are always the ones who think they should be among those few?

 

Everybody is equal. Some people are just more equal than others.

 

Ok Ok I'll concede you that... but in a perfect world that chick wouldnt be voting. Her and the guy who called the cops because he thought his neighbors tomato plants were an elaborate marijuana operation would be banned from the polls and compelled to wear protective headwear for their own safety and in preservation of American insurance premiums.

 

At least the Econ derail didn't get us banished to the debate forum...

 

Peanut greeze, ain't that the brown stuff you spread on bread with jelly?

 

Uh oh, sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays.

 

Was at a restaurant in Virginia & ordered a glass of zinfandel; they brought me a white. I asked the waitress why she didn't bring me a zin she said she did, white zin, apparently unaware there was any other kind. I asked her to check, which she did, and they had none. I sent it back, they didn't charge, no real harm done.