Funny things you've overheard about beer

On a road trip with my two youngest sons a couple of years back we had our first experience with dry counties. It took awhile of searching the convenience store for the beer that was not there before it dawned on me. I know, I don't get out much.

We stayed at a cheap motel in BFE, TX. That night I bumped the mirror in the bathroom & a syringe fell down from behind it. There was no TP so I went to the office to get some and explained how I found the syringe. The manager explained that good housekeeping staff were hard to find. Maybe management should just train them to hide their paraphernalia better.

Next morning as we were packing one of those palmetto bugs galloped across the floor. That really helped speed things up.

 

Hey hey hey!!

We love our roaches AND our trees.

Lol

 

Toothpaste for dinner is a daily read for me.

 

For a while there I was reading @drewtoothpaste, TFD and TheWorstThingsForSale... not sure how I got anything done between all of his sites.

 

It helps that TFD and MTTS are single panel.

 

I think MTTS got me Loling more than anything though, haha. Love those.

 

I like Wondermark.com too, for more "cut & paste from old books with hilarious jokes" fun times.

 

Hahaha. Not like I bought a case of Smirnoff ice or something.

 

I live in one of those stupid counties. One town now has beer at a Mexican restaurant, so I guess the county is technically "moist" now. Luckily the next county is only 10 minutes from my house.

 

Speaking of TFD:

 

Beat me to it! I was waiting til I got home.

 

4.5 kg 2-row
0.5 kg Crystal 60
0.25 kg Melanoiden
0.25 kg Munich

Mash at 152 for 45 minutes.

60 minute boil.

30g Millennium @ 60
7g Centennial @ 20
7g Columbus @ 20
9g Centennial @ 10
9g Centennial @ 10
20g Cascade @ 0
10g Citra @ 0

45g Cascade Dryhop - 7 Days
30g Citra Dryhop - 7 Days

WLP001 (I used US-05)

 

What you've got to watch out for is these Tennesee Barking Spiders. We had a bad infestation in the kitchen earlier. I got sent to the porch.

 

I lived in Tampa back in the 80's. One night I had a few friends over. I was talking to them and, as I opened the fridge to grab a beer, one of those bastards flew out of the fridge and halfway into my mouth. DAMN!!!

 

From an article about the Bud Superbowl commercial

http://freebeacon.com/blog/garbage-beer-producer-mocks-people-with-taste/

The point is, Budweiser is a garbage beer, even by garbage beer standards. It’s not “beer for people who like beer.” It’s beer for people who hate beer, a beer for people who are looking to slowly get buzzed as a means of numbing the pain while their life slips away and death creeps up behind them. It’s sadness in a bottle, regret in a can. Drinking Budweiser isn’t a lifestyle choice; it’s a plea for help.​

 

My wife told me that the latest Budweiser ad made her cry. I told her their product brings a tear to my eye too.

 

I just saw it. F them now more than ever.

 

Yesterday for Super Bowl, I opened an amber ale that was my first brew, about a year ago. Buddy's wife, bud/Busch light drinker, wants to give it a try. I tell her she will not like it and will make the bad beer face she has made before when she took a sip of others. I tell her to take a good chug and taste the flavor. She takes a sip, makes said face and runs to the chili on the stove to get rid of the taste. Goes on to say,"if I had to drink that beer, I would quit drinking beer!" I tried to explain flavor profiles of different beers, but she just got back into her bud light. She did like my spiced apple cider though.

 

Hmm...that ad seems to reveal their fear of the fact that the market share is being taken more and more by craft breweries. And the ad is pretty insulting to their own product.

 

BMC beer producers have done a remarkably good job of redefining "good beer" as the product they can mass-produce cheaply.

My father, a WW2 vet, told me that beer in the U.S.A. began to take on the light and bland character it has today as a result of WW2. According to him, after WW2 a large number of their customers didn't return from the war. The BMC breweries wanted to get women buying and consuming more beer. They found that by making it lighter and less flavorful they could have more success marketing to women.

This may not be true at all. My father had a way of connecting the wrong dots and coming up with his own ideas, but that is what he told me.

However it occurred, it is true that American style lager is bland and boring. I'm glad to see the dark-ages of beer in the U.S.A coming to a close with the explosion of craft brewing in both micro-breweries and peoples homes.

I sometimes wonder what would happen if suddenly it became a mega-trend for everyone to start home brewing? Would politicians start taxing it? Would the cost of base malt skyrocket? Would hops become so scarce that making an IPA be considered wasteful? Would laws suddenly become more restrictive on what you can brew? -shudder
Is this the best time in the history of our lives to be home brewing and we don't even realized it?

 

Are you high? Some pretty deep philosophical Homebrewing questions.

 

Yeah. They say drink our watery **** because we make it, even though they own part or all of a dozen craft breweries that they are bashing.

 

Drunk?

 

Please tell us you will never again give that _____ the opportunity to be so rude and disrespectful to one of our own.

Sorry if this was an overreaction.

 

...that BWMBO (Buddy's Wife Must Be Ostracized)

 

No but i was when i read it..lmao!!!

 

I think prohibition also played a part here. before it, there were many breweries, but only the larger ones lasted through prohibition by selling malt to the food industry. The few that were left went for as much market share as possible by making beer more universally appealing, ie the flavourless stuff that they churn out.

 

Grain rationing during the war also led to brewing lighter-bodied beers, and using adjuncts that were cheaper and more prevalent.

So, thanks a lot, Hitler. Light beer was your fault.

 

Just one more reason my niece was correct when she came home from school one day and announced, "That Hitler's a butt!".

 

Superbowl Sunday I was making my way through a SN IPA Sampler pack.

I let SWMBO try a Golden IPA. Kind of like american lager-ish,
Kind of like what Bud would be like it were an IPA and good!
SWMBO liked the Golden IPA, "not bad" she said.
an hour late I let her try a SN Torpedo Pale Ale.
SWMBO made the sour, crunched face and declared she no like.
I taunted her with "that is flavor" and ran out of the room before she could throw something at me!

 

In her defense, torpedo is a little much for someone not used to IBUs

 

The only beer my wife has ever not made a face at was one I brewed myself. I'm pretty proud of that.

 

I've read a very similar account in Drink: A Social History of America. The book states that the shift started during the war, when the men were out fighting, and the women were home. A very good book if you are into the history of alcohol in the US.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0786707437/?tag=skimlinks_replacement-20

 

Yeah, pop told me stories too. Even had pics of when he was a Seabee in the Philippians. They had those dull khaki colored cone-top cans. Beer was still better compared to now when I was a kid in the late 50's. True stories about beer slowly turning into what we have now. Even the advertising of the day slowly switched from the wife serving her man a beer to joining him with one.

 

All of the beer brewed here in Medford went over seas to the troops during WW2. The brewery folded soon after the war ended, mainly because they had lost their network of buyers.
My Dad was assistant brew master at the time, besides running a farm. Do you know how many times the title of assistant brew master involved wielding a shovel?

 

I highly doubt she will seek out another sip from one of my vintage brews. I will never cut her off as she is the cook who works at a specialty meat shop and generously shares her bounty.

 

A guy at work just told me Guinness extra stout tastes like a chunk of wood soaked in a little blood with sugar poured on top

 

is that how "dark" tastes?

good to know

 

Those evil, heavy dark beers!