Don't Do That.

Ray Ban Barleywine has a nice ring to it.

 

Eisbocktoberfest?

 

Cleaning out the Keezer, put the beer back in close the lid and wonder why it is getting so cold in there, but don't worry about it and leave for the night. Wake up to my Octoberfest that has been carbing for the big weekend party frozen solid. I left the temp prob outside in 90+ degrees set for 40. The Keezer never turned off. Yea, don't do that.

 

Done this. Thaw and serve!

 

Don't assume the weight of the grains in the crusher hopper will offset the weight of the drill on the side. Normally I dump the grains in and mill right away, but today I realized I left my coffee inside. I figured that 8 lbs of grains would be heavy enough to keep the crusher from tipping over.

Turns out I was wrong.

Can I call the grains floor malted now? Haha. Good thing it was only 2-row and I've got plenty of that in bulk. Not the biggest deal, but man those little buggers really do spread out across the garage floor

 

Been there. Done that.

Different action but same result...I walked in from the LHBS and had all my specialty grains in a plastic baggie. My daughter was over with her dog and she (dog, not daughter) jumped up and ripped the bag. About a pound or two of specialty grains all over the hardwood floor!

 

Oh no! That sucks! Last brew day I did something similar. I repurposed as much as the spent grains as I could (dog treats, granola bars, etc) but for a 10 gal batch I had a ton left over. So I loaded them into a trash bag and as I was lifting them into the garbage can they caught a scratch in the plastic and split the bag. Not the end of the world cuz 95% of the grains ended up in the can, but 4 days later after trash day they had fermented/soured/biodegraded and the trash can reeked. Simple green ftw

 

Don't leave kegs full of water in an unheated garage.

 

Ouch!!

 

Just curious, never been to one, where are you that has one? cant seem to recall hearing of one.. though i havent ever looked.

 

Broomfield, CO has a big festival with about a 100+ or so tents, all kinds of cigars and accessories, live music, food, booze...a good time!

 

Thar she blows, mate. At least you can salvage the lid, posts and dip tubes for spare parts. This artic front has impacted us way down here in SC.

 

I'm in northern Indiana and we've had single digit temps for a few weeks now. I put all my homebrew in the fermentation chamber to keep it from freezing but I forgot about this.

 

A little Gorilla Glue will fix that.

 

Nah, that is a job for duct tape!!!

 

TL;DR Throwing your dry hop bag in the keg BEFORE you force carb by shaking. Don't do that.

Oh man, I did a doozie the other day. Let me preface this with the facts that I hadn't brewed in over a year and was anxious to taste my new beer, and that I was kegging for my first time (again, super anxious and excited here).

I decided to keg my beer a bit green, but that bit never bothered me---it was a session ipa, and I like those fresh/young. However, in my excitement to try it, I decided to go with one of the thousands of quick force carb methods we've all seen around the internet. I crashed it, kegged it, and went to force carb. As I did so, I remembered I had planned on dry hopping in the keg. I hurriedly weighed and bagged my hops, sealed up the bag, and tossed it in. THEN I FORCE CARBED WITH THE GOOD OL' SHAKING METHOD.

In short, my first attempt to pour my first beer in a year was thwarted by a massive hop clog. I quickly got very familiar with my new keg. The entire keg had to be poured and allowed to settle until the last pint. Oops.

 

I have never shaken after adding hops but I have often dropped 1 gallon paint strainer bags into the keg, never had any clogs. I don't understand how force carbonation with shaking made it clog.

Now I have one of the cylinder hop tubes. But alas, I have moved and most of my kegging equipment is in storage.....n

 

When I shook the hell out of the keg, I also shook the hops out of the bag (significantly moreso than if I'd just set them in there)

 

Went to pull a gravity sample from my CF5 last night, sample port was clogged. Which with 6lbs of blackberry slush floating around I wonder how that happened... My brilliant idea, open the sample port more and more until it clears, did I mention this was under 5psi in the conical? It certainly unclogged, but Yea....don't do that.

 

Been there. I know it's a lot of work...but if you remove the poppet in the keg and remove the pin in the liquid out coupler you can have a direct line of beer that never clogs. Downside is that if you for some reason remove the coupler...you will have a stream of beer erupting out of the keg until the pressure is equalized....not that I ever did that.

 

Cool your wort out in the dark, get your brand new phone out to use the light to read the temp, drop your brand new phone into wort.... don't do that

 

Most recent lesson on the "autopilot theory" He is only as smart as the DUMBASS who pressed the button!

 

Utilize Cascade hops in a brew that you bought in bulk Feb 2015 (brewday Dec 25 2017)... Don't do that!

 

How did you store the hops?

 

In a 1lb resealable bag that came from the supplier... over the last couple years everytime we used them just unzipped the bag, re-zipped and put back in the freezer. Sometimes the breaker to the freezer tripped so they were warm for a good chunk of time. They still added bitterness but the aroma/flavour completely gone.

 

You need a vacuum sealer my friend!

 

I have one but get lazy in repacking sometimes. I am sure that would have saved the hops somewhat but Feb 1015? those are getting old no matter what!

 

It actually makes a big difference and while you will lose SOME hop character, 2-3 year old properly stored hops still make great beer. There are differences by variety and some store better than others. I'm sure I've read more extensive experience articles on the subject but a quick search produced this
https://byo.com/mr-wizard/how-should-you-store-hop-pellets-to-extend-their-freshness/

 

I certainly hope that my vacuum sealed bags retain the hop potency, at least mostly, since all of my hops are over a year old now and many might be 3 years old. Some might be older than that. They smell great when I open a package.

 

OK OK... you guys can stop yelling at me. I got off my lazy arse
LOL

 

If you need to use them faster than you can brew, just PM me...

 

LMAO

 

Yep, I'll take one for the team!

 

Well I think I probably owe both of you at least a few ounces each for being motivational

 

Brew good beer, share with friends. If you find yourself on the Western Slope of CO, PM me!

 

Buy a tap-wrench-thingy a few months after you installed your tap by hand tightening, forget the collar nut is reverse threaded, and turn it the wrong way, letting beer shoot out all around the collar.

Don't do that.

 

Running your wort cooler, and grab the outflow tube to reposition it in the kettle.

Don't do that.

 

Don’t put your full, hot boil kettle on your glass kitchen table. It will EXPLODE. Do not rush in to try and save it, you will get glass in your feet. You will get stitches, have to use crutches and your girl will have to clean up the mess. Yea, don’t do that!!!

 

Sparge with a bucket with a hole in the bottom... My kitchen got very wet today