Brewing After the Zombie Apocalypse

The year is 2012. Loggers in South America accidentally disturb a pile of guano from a species of bat harboring a hitherto-unknown virus. Six months later, the "Orinoco River Mammalian Reanimation Virus" has swept the world and left less than 1 percent of the human population of Earth alive and... unaltered.

By a bizarre combination of skill and luck, you have survived the onslaught of the zombie horde. The world is infested with over 6 billion ravenous undead, each able and willing to crack your skull like a walnut before slurping out the delicious brainy filling. You have managed to relocate to an island with an ample supply of food and water, but supply of homebrew is running low. Safe (for the moment) from the legions of undead and militias roaming the post-apocalyptic landscape, how will you resume brewing? Remember... your LHBS is miles away and crawling with zombies that prefer brains to barley.

 

heres a kinda similar thread I started a few months ago, theres a couple good techniques in there.

http://www.homebrewtalk.com/f14/hypothetical-homebrewing-question-162948/

 

Without actually following your thread, I find it unlikely that is is too much like the OP. I'm gonna go look now, but I really have my doubts...

[ok I'm back] OK, post apocalypse I'll give you. No zombies, no brain slurping, none of that, though.

 

Man, just the other day I was thinking that it's been a while since we've had a zombie apocalypse thread...

 

"A mind is a terrible thing to taste.........."

 

With potentially that little time left and open access to all the beer in all the beer stores I can make it to? To hell with brewing....

I mean, sure maybe a year or so down the road...once the zombie hoard has thinned out... but to begin with? I'm liberating my beer from warehouses...

 

Obviously a mission to secure homebrewing equipment and supplies is in order. There is no time to waste with improvisation here. The homebrews are dwindling!

First stop is the Sporting Goods store to pick up a black leather jacket, a couple of ammo belts to sling across the shoulders, an Auto-5, and a good supply of shells. Also a couple of handguns for emergency. Also a baseball bat for the truck.

A small backpack contains extra ammo, a small amount of food, some water, and a brain in a baggie in case I need to create a diversion.

Hopefully the sporting goods store has a chain saw. If so, grab it in case the road is blocked. Otherwise, skip it. It's too dangerous to go looking for one.

Next I'll grab the nearest 4X4 truck and find the closest gas station. Fill up and then set the place on fire as I head for the LHBS.

Once there, grab a crusher or two, a couple of kettles and fermenters, all the yeast, hops and bulk grain I can.

Through all of this blasting zombies.

 

Well the OP says we have some homebrew but it is dwindling? Sounds like I have at least one, and maybe a variety of yeasts. I would view myself as the keeper of the secrets of brewing for those who come after me (if we ever defeat the zombies), so therefore, I would try to keep the bottle sealed and buried for protection.

I would use one of course to get some yeast to get my new set up going. Barley might be a problem, but there will be something on that island worth fermenting, and I am sure there's a variety of plants there I can use for bittering, if no actual wild hops.

The only thing is, this scenario would make it tough to get actual brewing stuff besides the yeast. These zombies seem bad-*ss, and I don't think my main concern before getting on this island would have been homebrew equipment. I got a wife and kid to worry about now, and a lot of guns and ammo to get out of my house for obvious reasons. I think the homebrew would have to wait.

 

Replace the zombies with infertile women and you mostly have the premise for Galapogos by Kurt Vonnugut. That was pretty good, but weird.

I guess kegging with natural carbonation would be a must.

 

just start brewing what the populace demands, 22 ounce brain bombers. keep the zombies supplied and they'll leave you alone.

 

But how to I keep my brain sparge from getting stuck? Not to mention the bottle sediment...

 

obviously, you throw the hair into the mash tun. Bottle sediment is a must. zobies like to chew, you know.:rockin:

 

Do you really need to mash brains? They seem more like sort of ingredient you would steep. Or stick directly into the bottle, like the worm in tequila.

 

You've all missed the boat.

You better find some germinate-able grains, and some rhizomes, or the party will be over reeeeeeeeeally phucking fast.

Cool thread by the way.

 

+1 to cheezy demon. It is all about preparation. In 2011, I will take my hydroponics and brewing to the second floor. Then when the zombies arrive, I will destroy my stairs.

Anyone "in the know" know zombies can't do the rope ladder thing.

 

don't worry if you're not all brain just yet. you can still use some dme and make a killer brain in a bag recipe.

 

DME? Dried medulla extract?

 

well.....this went downhill fast, lol.

 

The trick to all-brain brewing is making sure you don't get an infection.

 

Yeah, but if you've got prions in your brew they won't show up for years, and you're not going to remove them in the boil.

 

And you're never going to get them out of your equipment...

 

Brew the closest clone to BMC you can... its what all the zombies are drinking now.

 

edit:Above post is F'ing hilarious! Zombies love BMC, it's like their Kryptonite.

I'm with you dude! Think of all that beer! I would arm myself, acquire survival gear (including beer) and head off to "My island, It's mine". Establish survival plan, kick back, get farschnikered, establish a new colony of humans:rockin: and when you get down to the last 30 cases or so, start thinking of brewing. Take a lesson from how our brew-brothers did it before there were pots (metal working). Find and sprout grains, fruit or whatever, bittering plants, construct wood vat, heat rocks in fire, drop em in, boil accomplished. Cover w/ palm or large leaves (or not), ferment, dip your coconut mug in, sipping in the sun! In time you could amass your own army, the zombies would run out of food (brains), then take over a vacant brewery, Bam! in business. This is sounding good. Bring on the zombies!

 

I think it was Northern Brewer that said trappist-ale repells zombies?Im with jughead bring on the hoard, I f##king love zombies.Are they fast moving "28 days" or slow hoard"N.O.T.L.D.1968 style" ???If fast screw brewing hit gun shop then packie;if slow here i come lhbs for all the crap i couldnt afford and had to improvise,forget the guns there slow runem over in my new hummvie with a plow!!!so like i said BRINGEM ON!

 

YA, I didn't think if they were "slow" or fast" zombies" but once you get to your island no worries, aside from the rogue swimming undead. I might induce a zombie epidemic just to start my own brewery someday.

 

Im not going to the island im gonna stay at the brewery & practice rule 3 the double tap!

 

Nice, I'll bring a shotgun and a baseball bat.:rockin:

 

Heres the deal you need a black and gold plan for the upcoming invasion ! I already have a UAV(urban assault vehicle) plenty of weapons and ammo in accordance with said calibers the best thing i can think of is overrunning and securing a brewery...that and bring back G.I. Joes but i digress

 

Might as well go in style:
EM-50 UAV

 

The existing beer will be gone over or destroyed in 1-2 years.

While you guys are wishing you were hung over, I will be kilning my malt, harvesting hops, making barrels, and hopefully procreating, and eating well.

 

Where will you get your barley or hops after the collapse of civilization? I know you'll grow them, but where do you get the seeds/rhizomes? Unless you already have a stockpile in your "doom bunker," you're going to need to brave the horde to get your startup supplies. So you'll need gasoline for your urban assault vehicle and chainsaw, shells for your shotgun, and polish for your cricket bat.

 

Hence preparation now along with a gathering of highly trained operative friends should be the answer. Were all gonna need security right how else will we harvest our crops

 

I thought the scenario involved gathering supplies and bouncing off to your own secluded fortress of solitude island? If so you should be able to get supplies in one swift kamakaze run: Sporting goods store, Beer Distributor, LHBS (maybe), grain store for seeds, local college campus (hey you need breeding stock). Oh and a hardware store for the cricket bat polish, haha. Ah screw it, I'm just gonna get all this together now, 2012 isn't too far away. I'm heading to PSU. FWIW, something is gonna happen dec. 2012, don't know if it will be zombie Aporkalypse, but might not be too far off. Or maybe instead of rain, we'll have beer fall from the sky....we can hope!:rockin:

 

Good questions.....

Great answer!

 

I'll just become a beer pirate and raid your little island brewery...

 

I have quite a bit of molasses at my place. If ye be pirtatin', ye best take with ye a few barrels o' rum.

 

Come get some..... Just bring something to trade.

Truth be told....I would be fermenting a ton of brown sugar and water at some point. Quasi rum.

If there is some room (what with all of the barley, wheat, and hops springing up)growing some sugar cane, and maybe some FOOD....might be wise.

 

What do zombies brew with?

GRRRRAAAAAAAAAIIIINNNNSSSS!

*badum-chissh*

 

Worst...Joke...Ever

I would just brew whatever I could get my hands on. Let's face it, making fermented pine needles would make you the coolest refugee around.

 

The joke wasn't that bad.

And yes, trash can rum or pine needle whiskey would be far better than eternity on the wagon, and all the irreparable harm that would cause.