Are Toddlers Like Drunk People???

My D-i-L sent this to me.. can't help but laugh...

Following are 20 more ways that taking care of a toddler is like dealing with a drunk person. What would you add to this list?

No personal boundaries
Falls over A LOT. Gets up, yells “I OK!” and keeps going
Poor decision making skills
Spontaneous vomiting
Speaks gibberish
Gets belligerent if you take away their beer [insert favorite toy here]
Cries for no apparent reason
Streaking (see #3)
Philosophical conversations with inanimate objects
Short attention span
Argumentative
Poor short term memory
Zero inhibitions
Loses everything
Will pass out anywhere
One track mind
Demanding
Getting them undressed (or redressed) is like wrestling an alligator
Runs into things that haven’t moved…ever
One volume setting – LOUD!

 

Heh... as a father of five, I approve this post.

 

My 6 month old will stare at his hand for several minutes and he looks exactly like some stoners I know. He's at the sitting up on his own stage and he wobbles around like me after too many beers.

 

That list sure looks familiar to me. Just last night I was saying how I can't believe that even at 2 my daughter can run around naked in front of people she just met and not care. My wife was trying to get her ready for a bath when my friends were there.

 

Spot on!! Have a 4 year old and a 8 month old. This is all very true, and very funny!

 

They haven't had that shame programmed in yet. My kids tend to be school age before this is an issue - which always makes it fun to have company over.

 

So stinking true, two and half year old and one and a half year old.

 

Both are known to urinate when/where they should not......

 

The funny thing is, there's actually a neurological basis for a lot of this. When you chuck drunks and three-year-olds into MRI machines, there are apparently many similarities. We should all remember that when trying to argue with toddlers.

 

Sooooo get drunk before I argue with my kid?

 

Once again, Malfet takes it to a level none of us can understand.

 

That is where we all start and eventually, the point to which we all return. I'm not THAT old and even sober, I can relate to a few things on that list. Kids are pure joy. So are drunks.

 

I have a three year old. Next time we need to argue, I'll get drunk.

 

Ha! You think I understand it? I'm just repeating things told to me by my much-smarter wife, who spends her days scanning brains and her nights convincing our three-year-old not to climb up the bookshelf naked.

 

Does she have any inside info on when Bellevue is reopening? We can't wait because it makes our nights much easier.

 

It certainly would but you would feel pretty guilty after a few nights without your daughter.

 

I'm confused.

 

you don't already? hell, I drink so me & my boys can understand each other.

 

that sounds a lot like my house, but I'm the one nekkid on the book shelf.:rockin:

 

Join the club. I collect the dues.

 

Bellevue is a hospital in Manhattan that takes in all of our crazies. It's been closed since the Hurricane which is screwing a lot of stuff up in regards to emergency care in that part of Manhattan. Malfet's wife might know a thing or two about that.

 

I'm sorry. I'm ignorant and did not realize that such crucial information was being relayed via HBT

 

How the hell do you get a three-year-old to sit still in an MRI?

 

They are usually the reason I drink.

Get them drunk???

 

Let's review the original post. The question posed was can you add to this list. I cant.

edit--no still cant.

 

Straight from the source: "They're saying 'next month', but they've been saying next month for a few months now".

So it goes, eh?

 

Originally Posted by ktblunden

"How the hell do you get a three-year-old to sit still in an MRI?
Get them drunk???"


and then they can act like drunk adults

 

Its weird but reminds me of the first things I thought when first times-being drunk, that its like a dream,and you can do what you want without really careing what anyone thinks.But you soon later realize that you still have limits because you face the consequences of tomarrow.

 

'Nuff said.

 

That is great! I almost peed. Everyone, go back and watch that video.

 

Hahahaha!!!