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Old 01-01-2009, 05:22 PM   #1
JoeMama
 
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Even though I am posting this *post* ****edupedness its still appropriate that it go here. I will be not the first, but one of the many to say that Apfelwein is the DEVIL!!

Now before you ask, OF COURSE I DIDNT HEED EDWORTS ADVISE! (And boy do I wish I would have!)

'Mass consumption of Apfelwein will get you drunk at warp speed' - "No! Warp speed is too slow! We need Ludicrous speed!" Needless to say, I went plaid last night.

I decided to siphon off a gallon and a pitcher from my 5gal jug that has been fermenting for over a month. (Nice and clear) Took it over to the wifes friends house and basically I was the only one drinking there. So, I proceeded to put the pitcher down and start on the gallon of Apfelwein. I managed to suck down half of that before the wife got embarrassed and took me home. (I was rather tanked at this point)

From there, I remember walking into the bathroom to pee, then make an about face to hug the porcelain. After that, I woke up on the floor (still halfway in the bathroom) with a blanket over me. (Thank you fams)

I can sit and laugh about this now, but damn If I didnt scare my daughter in the process. Daddy doesnt make it a habit to get so smashed that he wakes up halfway in the bathroom cause its too much effort to crawl 10 feet to the bed. Wow... The worst part of it is I didnt see it coming. It goes down so smooth and wonderful then *POOF* (Youre POOF)

Apfelwein wears Prada... Be warned newcomers! As it was stated before - Apfelwein doesnt play nice with others. In fact Apfelwein runs around the house with scisors screaming obscenities.
Time to go back to my beers that I drink to ENJOY (Not get goofy at Ludicrous speed)
-Me
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Old 01-01-2009, 05:35 PM   #2
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I think you're one of a million with this thread. It's happened to all of us at some point. Relax and have a tylenol.
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Old 01-01-2009, 05:39 PM   #3
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Dude...come on. You HAD to know that was going to happen. After a pitcher you started into a GALLON JUG? You are familiar with what ABV means, right?! Gotta treat this stuff like it's a Tripel or something.

Dontcha just f***in hate it when you're the only one drinking? Social gatherings so often have so much unrealized potential.
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Old 01-01-2009, 06:25 PM   #4
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I have been wanting to make this stuff but I am scared for myself. I have a habit of sleepwalking and doing some pretty crazy ass **** when I get blackout drunk. This stuff (like drinking Bill Murrays all night - equal parts of OJ, tripelsec,UV blue, and Midori for those interested in having a **** you up drink that tastes like those Ecto-Cooler juice boxes from the 80's and 90's when ghostbusters was popular) honestly scares the **** out of me.
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Old 01-01-2009, 06:48 PM   #5
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Mmm Apfelwein




 
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Old 01-01-2009, 06:49 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coastarine View Post
Dude...come on. You HAD to know that was going to happen. After a pitcher you started into a GALLON JUG? You are familiar with what ABV means, right?! Gotta treat this stuff like it's a Tripel or something.

Dontcha just f***in hate it when you're the only one drinking? Social gatherings so often have so much unrealized potential.
Well, yes I guess I DID know that something like this was going to happen... I guess I just didnt expect it to happen like *that*.

Warp speed is to slow...
I now have a newfound respect for Apfelwein. Oh do I ever!
-Me
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Old 01-01-2009, 09:06 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeMama View Post
Well, yes I guess I DID know that something like this was going to happen... I guess I just didnt expect it to happen like *that*.

Warp speed is to slow...
I now have a newfound respect for Apfelwein. Oh do I ever!
-Me
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Old 01-02-2009, 12:09 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedIrocZ-28 View Post
I have been wanting to make this stuff but I am scared for myself.....This stuff honestly scares the **** out of me.
Be afraid.... VERY AFRAID....


(While I am sure running in socks down the hardwood stairs may have had something to do with this, I WAS on my way to get my 2nd apfelwein... I'm just sayin....)

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Old 01-02-2009, 02:45 AM   #9
eschatz
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duckfoot View Post
Be afraid.... VERY AFRAID....


(While I am sure running in socks down the hardwood stairs may have had something to do with this, I WAS on my way to get my 2nd apfelwein... I'm just sayin....)

WOW! Brutal. Does Ed know about this? haha
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Old 01-02-2009, 06:03 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duckfoot View Post
Be afraid.... VERY AFRAID....


(While I am sure running in socks down the hardwood stairs may have had something to do with this, I WAS on my way to get my 2nd apfelwein... I'm just sayin....)

Tell me about it! the below required 6 stitches and is remarkably similar in shape to the jagged edge of a broken pint glass.

I was on the way to pint # 3 of Apfelwein.... lightning flashed in the sky... I went "ooh shiny stuff!!!" completely missed the stairs on the patio and found myself kissing the driveway with my pint glass stuck in my hand. I was VERY lucky... no tendons cut.

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