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Old 12-25-2008, 02:55 AM   #1
Cape Brewing
DOH!!! Stupid brewing...
Cape Brewing's Avatar
May 2008
Norton, MA
Posts: 13,795
Liked 912 Times on 723 Posts

I had some time today and wrote up a little something for my brew club... I thought it was applicable to all of the great folks I've talked to on HBT as well.

Happy Holidays!!!

`Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
My carboys were bubbling, so later we could be soused.

A large starter was pitched in the kitchen with care,
in great hope that fermentation would quite soon be there.

The grains were ground, "that's a good crush", it was said,
While visions of ales danced in my head.

With hops set aside and water in my pot,
I started my brewing, planning to make a whole lot.

When down in the basement arose such a clatter,
I bounded downstairs to see what was the matter.

I threw open the door in a frightful great rush,
Just in time to view a carboy continuing to gush.

I took the dripping ceiling, as a very clear sign,
that maybe I should start pounding a nice barleywine.

When, what to my face brought a big jolly smile?
I spied bottles of Belgians, of all different style!

With the mess cleaned up, I filled up my glass,
and got back to my pot so I could start up my mash

I read through the recipe and so I knew what next came,
and dumped in everything, calling out each by name.

Now Pale Malt, Now Carapils, Now Crystal and Two Row!
Now, Warrior, Now Tettnang, Now Centennial and Simcoe!!

Just as I emptied my glass, my brew started to bubble.
I figured a few more tripels would cause me no trouble.

I ripped open a bottle like a child with a new toy,
And just then remembered, "I need a clean carboy!"

B-Brite then Iodifore to turn my carboy light brown,
Another sip of my tripel and I almost fell down.

Getting equipment clean is a goal worth the toil.
But try to get it done before the end of your boil.

I danced around the stove, not a drop did I spill,
Until it was time, for my wort to be chilled.

The wort cooled down while I shook up my starter yeast cake,
I love my immersion chiller. I always get good cold break.

Once chilled down to temp, I began to aerate
Then poured another beer, what's that? Seven or eight?

I aerated thoroughly so no yeast would be lost,
And then I remembered, "DAMN, I forgot Irish Moss!"'

Mildly tipsy I cradled my carboy so dear
"Ah screw it, so my ale won't be clear"

I washed all my stuff and stored away all my gear
I thought of beers I've had and those I held dear.

I stored my glass jug in an area nice and cool
Then tried to sit down only to slide off my stool.

Before going to bed I tipped one more in the pub,
And then I sat thinking, "I should email the club!"

Before going to bed, deep slumber to be sought,
I thought I would leave you with this last cheery thought.

Now I want to exclaim, with cheer and delight
Happy holidays to all… and too all a perfect pint!
Why the eff not... everyone else is starting a nano!!! I wanna!!!

Originally Posted by paulthenurse View Post
I'm pretty much a douche in real life, too.

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