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Old 12-23-2008, 05:36 AM   #1
Kungpaodog
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Sep 2008
Lafayette, CO
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I bought a magazine package subscription a long time ago for a ridiculously low price, and I've been receiving a bunch of magazines for what seems like forever, one of them being Maxim.

I've thought it's been going downhill for a while now. It used to be a bunch of dumb humor with pictures of scantily clad women. Perfect. A bit sophomoric, but entertaining nonetheless. Now it is like a bad GQ rip-off that features jokes I was telling years ago, and "fashion" spreads of clothing either too hideous of hideously expensive to ever own.

But now they have crossed the line.

I just opened the latest issue and went straight to page 58 that was advertised on the cover as "The 99 best beers on earth."

On the first page of the article is "The Big Boys." OK, get a little bit of sucking up to your advertisers out of the way; I admit that MGD can have a place in the summer heat, and I won't turn one down at a BBQ at a friends house. What's on the next page?

"Canned Heat," featuring Gordon's Ale from Oscar Blues!! Great beer! Wait, in the same category as Busch light? And Coors Light!?!?? And Old Milwaukee!?!?!?!?!? WHAT THE ****?!?!


It goes on like that! A bunch of categories with cheap, crappy BMC and worse that I might drink if it is given to me for free. There are about five beers on the list I, and most of you, might consider buying for myself.

This whole damn list reads like "99 cheapest beers you can buy" with a few exceptions. I know this damn magazine is supposed to target the frat demographic, but GODDAMMIT (<--really, that's in the spell checker?) WHO THE **** THINKS THESE ARE 99 OF THE BEST BEERS?!?!?! THAT BASTARD NEEDS TO BE LYNCHED!!!!!!

At this point I have calmed down a bit and considered that I need a word to hurl at the people at Maxim. A word better than "****."

MEECROB YOU MAXIM!!!!!!! A THOUSAND MEECROBS ON YOU, YOUR FAMILIES, YOUR PETS, AND THE COUSINS OF YOUR PETS!!!!!!!!!! GO TAKE A FLYING **** AT A ROLLING DOUGHNUT, PISS ON YOUR MOTHERS, GO MASTURBATE WITH A CHEESE GRATER, AND DIE!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!! !!!
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Old 12-23-2008, 05:41 AM   #2
Sheep_Dog
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Oct 2008
Blowing Rock, North Carolina
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Feel better?
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Old 12-23-2008, 05:43 AM   #3
Kungpaodog
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Sep 2008
Lafayette, CO
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A bit, yes, thank you.
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:48 AM   #4
Pi Kapp Beer Guy
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May 2008
Lexington, SC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kungpaodog View Post
I know this damn magazine is supposed to target the frat demographic, but GODDAMMIT
YOu know as a Fraternity guy and an older one at that i take offense to that!

Nah ok but truth is i have done more keg stands off of nati light than i care to say. I held a record of 60 second off of a picnic tap but thats of little relevance. Sure i have gone 10 games or more back to back of Beer Pong drinking Bud light. Dare i say i have even shot gunned two Milwaki beast Ice at the same time. And for you that are real savy I have even performed a strike out with a pint glass of Old E. But nun the less i love good beer. In fact most of my brothers would too if they could afford it. Truth is they are getting drunk and if they new they could afford better beer with higher alcohol I'm sure they would.

Anyway i take some of my beer to parties.

Thats right I'm changing the Tastebuds of our american animal house brothren into appreciative little beer bastards at every party

 
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:49 AM   #5
DeathBrewer
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lol, meecrob...
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Old 12-23-2008, 07:58 PM   #6
delarob
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Jan 2007
Newark, DE
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Ahh yes. I was reading that article whilst in the study last evening. Should have used it to wipe my ass when I was done. They actually listed Crudweiser as an "essential" beer.

It was at that moment I took nothing the rest of the article said with any seriousness.
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:01 PM   #7
DeathBrewer
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don't take anything from that MAGAZINE seriously. it's a big crock. i hate mags.
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:24 PM   #8
monty73741
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Jan 2008
baltimore, md (dundalk)
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maxim used to be awsome but since it got bought out, it is thin & sucks
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Old 12-24-2008, 02:05 AM   #9
mev
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Oct 2008
NJ
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Maxim flat out sucks. Mens Health is much better.

 
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Old 12-24-2008, 02:10 AM   #10
Boerderij_Kabouter
 
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Dec 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mev View Post
Maxim flat out sucks. Brew Your Own is much better.
There, fixed that for ya.

 
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