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Old 12-11-2008, 10:28 PM   #1
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I was in Walmart this afternoon. I wasn't buying beer, I was looking for a DVD for the missus. However, when I am in a place that sells beer, I always like to go and visit it. I put down a prayer mat and mumble a few incantinations to the brew Gods, then have a quick glance to see if there is anything interesting on the shelves.

I digress.... I had just got done with my homage to the beer gods when I heard a couple talking about the Bud "American Ale" in front of them. The male half was sounding tempted to try them, the female half was thinking about house decor.........Now, at this point I have to ask you....Have you seen that new Bud TV ad where the glass develops "bumps" and becomes an English style pint glass?.......Well... Female half says to male half, "Sure, buy some!...I wonder they sell those Budweiser glasses with the funny bubble thing on the side too?

WHAT!!?? WHAT did you say you stupid lardass f%cking witch!!??? F%CKING "BUDWEISER GLASS!!!?? It's just a frigging beer glass you brain dead moron!! You think Bud actually invented a new glass to go with their "just about acceptable at a pinch" excuse for an ale!! DAMMIT!!!!

I didn't spend the best part of my 52 or 53 years (I was born in '57, work it out for yourselves, ********, I'm too angry) drinking out of those things only to come over to the USA and have my sh!t re-invented for me!! Get a life, fat bitch! The world does not end Wally World!!!

After fuming a bit, I came to realise that she had no reason to know any better, it's not her fault, and she wasn't fat, she was just pleasantly cuddly........But the damage is being done! Evil Bud is eventually gonna pretend they invented the English pint!!! I know it!!! And their "American Ale" is soooo not awful, but not at all good either!! BEER IS GOING McDONALDS in America


 
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Old 12-11-2008, 10:30 PM   #2
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Wow, been awhile since the Gnome had a rant. Talley-ho, my good man.

What were you doing in Walmart? I thought you Brits were more refined than that.

 
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Old 12-11-2008, 10:32 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laughing_Gnome_Invisible View Post
BEER IS GOING McDONALDS in America
And yes, I do realise that BMC already took care of that.....It was a f*cking rant, was I supposed to THINK about it too?

 
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Old 12-11-2008, 10:34 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shecky View Post
Wow, been awhile since the Gnome had a rant. Talley-ho, my good man.

What were you doing in Walmart? I thought you Brits were more refined than that.
I hate Walmart, but not as much as I hate the people in them....That includes my good self. .......Are you safe? How can I be sure you are not obese trailer trash spying on me?

 
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Old 12-11-2008, 10:36 PM   #5
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Reading that is like a good fart. You know it's brewing in there and ready to explode at some moment and when you least expect it... WHAM! Sheck all over your monitor.

 
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Old 12-11-2008, 10:37 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laughing_Gnome_Invisible View Post
I hate Walmart, but not as much as I hate the people in them....That includes my good self.
Well, there you go..

So how WAS the shopping experience?

 
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Old 12-11-2008, 10:37 PM   #7
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Quote:
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Reading that is like a good fart. You know it's brewing in there and ready to explode at some moment and when you least expect it... WHAM! Sheck all over your monitor.
That makes three times today.

 
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Old 12-11-2008, 10:37 PM   #8
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In all fairness, Sam Adams did invent their own glass, so why can't Bud. And if the English pint is now to become a Bud Invention, what are the Brits going to do about it. Remember what happened the last time the redcoats got into a p!ssing contest with us.

Edit: Let's not overlook the link between Sam Adams and the little scrap I am talking about.
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Old 12-11-2008, 10:39 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laughing_Gnome_Invisible View Post
BEER IS GOING WALMART in America
Fixed that for ya.
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Old 12-11-2008, 10:39 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laughing_Gnome_Invisible View Post
Get off my lawn!

FTFY
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