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Old 07-03-2008, 06:50 AM   #1
slim chillingsworth
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Beer is truly one of man's most important and greatest accomplishments. It surpasses wine, coffee, tea, chocolate, and a good chunk of fine cuisine in complexity and artfulness. It is healthful, delicious, and at the core of some of the best parts of human society.

But I don't have to tell you that. If you're here, reading this, you know. So why do so many of you choose mates who don't agree?

I just spent a few hours drinking at a buddy's house, and his lady couldn't stop putting beer down. I happen to be a pretty argumentative person, and kept pushing her to give me any valid reason for her hatred of beer. She tried to tell me that it's unhealthy, and following her logic I forced her to admit that, under her definition, fiber can't be considered healthy. I waxed philosophically about the integral part beer has played in human history, and she merely brushed it off. She even went so far as to criticize people who would pursue brewing as a hobby, minutes after my proclamation that such was my intention. She was obviously provoking me, and yet got offended at my adherence to my own beliefs.

I understand that people don't like beer, but why do people who like beer choose to form such an intimate bond with people who don't? So many of you on this board adopt this "SWMBO" label for your significant others, and constantly portray them as being in opposition to your brewing and passion for beer. Why do you do this to yourselves? Why would someone who loves you hate something you love?

I jokingly refer to my lady as SWMOB, which is in my signature, as an opposition to the general attitudes your women seem to have toward your brewing, i.e. controlling, manipulative, and dissatisfied. My girlfriend loves beer, and I couldn't date anyone who didn't. She drains my kegs faster than I can brew them, porter to pale ale, stout to hefeweizen. We split all the beers that go into our cellar and drink them and converse about them when we pull them out. I know it is rare to find someone like this, but love isn't anything other than rare.

Mostly, I'm venting because of my interaction with someone who is sincerely hindering a person who has great potential in brewing. Someone who has criticized me because of her ignorance. However, I'm also posing this: why do so many of you choose to live with someone who hates something you love?
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Old 07-03-2008, 07:13 AM   #2
Tankard
 
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My wife simply does not like the taste of beer (other than a Bavarian hefeweizen). She does not disapprove of me brewing, in fact, she encourages me to do it because she knows how much I enjoy it.

I think beer is mainly "a guy's thing" and, of course, there are many exceptions. There are quite a few female brewers here at HBT and they are just as knowledgeable as the male brewers. I'm just saying, in general terms, guys like beer more than girls like beer.

 
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Old 07-03-2008, 07:18 AM   #3
slim chillingsworth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brew Dude View Post
in general terms, guys like beer more than girls like beer.
this has no basis in anything other than conforming to stereotypes. beer is a flavorful beverage and it's no more "a guy thing" than any other aspect of the culinary arts.
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"I don't understand why everybody is focusing only on details. It is impossible to produce a good beer with details."
Jean-Marie Rock, head brewer at Orval

SERIOUS BUSINESS BREWERY
---serious -mod edit- business---

my commercial beer notes garret oliver on beer and food josh oakes on beer and food

 
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Old 07-03-2008, 07:25 AM   #4
Kauai_Kahuna
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My math is bad, but it comes down to:
Beer:
Mate:
I'll take the mate, and play games to get the beer. But then I'm a single so my priorities show.

 
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Old 07-03-2008, 07:34 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slim chillingsworth View Post
..........However, I'm also posing this: why do so many of you choose to live with someone who hates something you love?
I wonder how you make this assumption? The use of SWMBO does not mean to me that the person hates beer or forbids the brewing of it.
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Old 07-03-2008, 07:40 AM   #6
slim chillingsworth
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blender View Post
I wonder how you make this assumption? The use of SWMBO does not mean to me that the person hates beer or forbids the brewing of it.
if she must be obeyed, then she is in opposition to something you're doing. you don't have to obey someone who is supportive of you. or even someone who will compromise with you. "obey" has a very harsh connotation.

i'll admit that i'm using the phrase as a banner for a specific type of relationship i'm talking about, but it seems to fit into the same idea.

Quote:
I'll take the mate, and play games to get the beer. But then I'm a single so my priorities show.
it's not about mate vs. beer, it's about supportive mate vs. non-supportive mate.
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"I don't understand why everybody is focusing only on details. It is impossible to produce a good beer with details."
Jean-Marie Rock, head brewer at Orval

SERIOUS BUSINESS BREWERY
---serious -mod edit- business---

my commercial beer notes garret oliver on beer and food josh oakes on beer and food

 
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Old 07-03-2008, 07:50 AM   #7
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I wouldn't take it literally. I see it as a give and take situation relating to family responsibilities or home issues. The brewer does something he loves but needs to balance it with home life.

I don't give much of a rats ass what color the walls are when I am asked to help paint them yet don't hassle me with the time spent doing brewing. It's a balance.
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Old 07-03-2008, 08:15 AM   #8
Tankard
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slim chillingsworth View Post
this has no basis in anything other than conforming to stereotypes. beer is a flavorful beverage and it's no more "a guy thing" than any other aspect of the culinary arts.
I find it ironic that you object to my opinion, considering you dedicated an entire thread to women who do not approve of their man's beer brewing...

 
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Old 07-03-2008, 08:29 AM   #9
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Slim, what makes you think that so many of us choose to live with someone who hates something you love? That implies that we already have this hobby we love, and go seek out someone who hates our hobby and choose them as a mate. It's not always the beer hobby came before the SWMBO, a lot of times it's the other way around.

Most of us use SWMBO in a tongue-in-cheek manner. It's a pet name and is one of our little in-jokes instead of saying "gf/wife/husband/monkey/DH/ball and chain" etc. So your implication that it means "she controls my life" is wrong. There's only been a very few posts that actually make it sound like the poor guy was ruled by a tyrant. There's been many more that consist of "SWMBO said she's sick of bottles cluttering the house and I am go for a kegging system" Now, at first this sounds like it means The WIfe controls the finances, but it really means she supports his hobby so much that spending hundreds of dollars on a luxury item that she may never even use means they have a supportive relationship.

I think what you've come up against in your OP really isn't a hatred of beer, but actually jealousy of a hobby. You'll run into the same thing with boat enthusiasts, golfers, during the playoffs, etc. Ever heard of football widows? It's the same kinda deal. The wimmins have lost their menfolk to a hobby and feel neglected.

And brewdude's right. You can say it's just a flavorful beverage all you want, but culturally in the US, beer is a guy's thing.
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Old 07-03-2008, 10:01 AM   #10
Melana
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Being both a SWMBO and a brewer I have found this thread amusing. I'll leave it at that.

 
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