I'm gone for two weeks, and everybody goes nuts on me. It's not like we weren't all nuts before, so I guess it's all the same. Even so, plenty of new names.
Dude has become the Very Un-Dude. It's the anti-dude. Repent, squares, for the anti-dude is among us! We've gone from moshing to pocket protectors. In our hearts, you're still our nihilist. I think this is one of those witness protection things, right? We're still mudding and thinking of dana 45's, right?
Walker has ditched his incredible afro and turned to the dark side of the force. I believe he has become a mechanical war machine. What does the old walker have to say about this?
Hey yo, you turn yo back on da fro dat made you who you waz! You waz a cool dog, now you just a jive-turkey robot thingie! You got no soul, you just got chewbacca inside!
Uh, yeah, thanks man. You've made a valid point - now get into the forgotten file. We loved you before you were reduced to a smilie with attitude.
Our very own Cheyco has become the chairman of the Iron Brewer TV show. He appears at the beginning of each episode to take a great big chug and belch at the camera. I want that image on my computer when I turn it off, and I want the first season on DVD.
Pumbaa has become the emporer of Rome. I love the hat, but it makes me think Egypt. (I think he's banging Cleopatra, lucky bastard!)
BeeGee has become a Baron. Baron von Beegee. Now that's a name that demands respect. We used to be able to talk with him on the same level, but now we must drop our heads to our better. BeeGee's still one of us, but we can't meet him eye to eye.
Kai has become the Kaiser. Now we're talking. I love kaiser rolls. They're great for steak'umm - what? Oh, that kaiser. Yes. Everybody around me is moving up in the world, but I stand still.
I'll show you all, I will. I'll become (dun dun da dun!) The Happy Pitcher. Yes, now that I am the Happy Pitcher, what will you do? No, don't tip me on the - no, that's my head full of beer, don't pour it out - no, please stop, I'm getting empty, no, not another 16 oz glass, no not the last bit - I'm empty! Please, fill me with something good? What? You guys are done? I get washed and then filled with Coors light? Noooooooo!!!
Okay, I guess this belonged in the drunken ramblings.