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Old 07-25-2010, 04:32 AM   #131
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MeatyPortion's Avatar
May 2009
Madison, WI
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Originally Posted by shortyjacobs View Post
Who are you, the drunk asian guy? If so, you sir, are awesome. If not, he, sir, is awesome.

My favorite, "Look at him, he's asian, he can't walk!" and the asian guy charges the white guy in green and completely misses him. It was like a ballet.
Nah, it was this guy named To. I haven't seen him for awhile but I assume he's still getting sh1tfaced downtown.
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Old 07-28-2010, 09:20 AM   #132
Scooterkdavis's Avatar
Jul 2008
Northern California
Posts: 185
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most recent dumb thing, was at a bachelor party in Chico this weekend and my phone died at the end of the night, went to a gas station across street from hotel to use a pay phone to call my special lady friend and met up with some guys who let me use thier cell. ended up going back to these guys friends house and did at least 4 or 5 PBR beer bongs.... wait see the 30 Keystone post for the outcome, apparently my training did not pay off
The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.

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Old 07-31-2010, 12:04 AM   #133
Aug 2009
Posts: 102

Originally Posted by thomasrj View Post
One morning while I was on summer break from college, I woke up surrounded by vomit in a lawn chair in a friend's yard. Odd thing about it, though, I had fallen over so that my back, and the chair back, were against the ground, and my feet were sticking up in the air.
vomit moat anyone?
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Old 05-27-2012, 06:11 AM   #134
Jan 2012
Prompton, pa
Posts: 3,182
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About 7 years ago a roommate of mine was moving out and moving south to pursue his golfing career (hes a terrific golfer and got a gig as a golf pro at a golfing resort in hilton head) I knew him since grammer school, roomed with him in college and after college we worked together and with 2 other guys rented a house... so were quite close... It was his last night home and we were sending him off in style. Golfed a full 18 and in the process killed 2 cases of beer a bottle of jeager and firewater.... had dinner a few more drinks and then decided to do a bar crawl of all the local dives in the area... wound up several hours later at a bar close to our house... we closed the bar and then headed back to a after hours party at our house.... his cousin was up from NJ and decided to wrestle with me.... he sprung this drunken decision upon me and i went along with it... for a bit... he started choking me and i punched him in the face... fast forward to the morning i woke up and saw his face... "wow dude what happened to ur face" i said... he said i punched him... i needed to leave fast so i could go to my nephews birthday party which i was already late for... so i got in my car quick and headed out... along the way i decided it was a good idea to take a nap... in the process i ran my car thru a lawn and persons fense off a tree and into a creek.... i wasnt far from my sister house so i got out and booked it to her house... when i got there i told everyone someone dropped me off down the street... 2 hours later 2 state trooper cars show up (while i was inside takin a dump) i came outside and they asked me for a field sobriety... i passed... next the breath alayzer.... i blew a .19 i dont know what time i went to bed but it was 3 pm at this point.... i didnt get a DUI or leaving the scene of an accident cause they couldnt prove i was driving but in court i was ordered to pay for the residents damages if i couldnt tell them who was driving my car the worst part was getting arressted in front of my whole familt at my nephes birthday party... i lost a car... had to pay 2 grand in damages to the persons property and oh yea i broke the kids orbital bone and had to pay 2500 in his medical bills....... they always say there is a silver lining in every situation and i found one in that story... it def taught me a life lesson and has better me as a person... funny how some things happen

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Old 06-05-2012, 12:31 AM   #135
Nov 2008
Slatington, PA
Posts: 329
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I ran over the neighbor's trash cans...

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Old 06-05-2012, 03:42 PM   #136
Jul 2011
Livonia, MI
Posts: 325
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Well this one didn't happen to me, but I got to play witness to a series of outrageous drunken events that my roommate had when first starting to drink.

Back when I was in college, I worked at the local frat bar when I was 18 so I had a place that I could go for a drink. My roommate (who I had known since 7th grade) had never drank before his 19th birthday. Since we were in the Metro-Detroit area, when someone turns 19, you go across the border to Windsor for a celebration and can go to a bar legally.

Mind you, this is before 9/11, so the borders were a little more relaxed than they are today.

So by roomie and his girlfriend go to Windsor one weekend while I'm working and when they come back, tell me that I have to go next week. No problem. The following Saturday, I make dinner (spaghetti - gotta have some carbs as a base for the booze), and we all pile into my buddy's 1989 Cadillac Coup de Ville and trek across the border. This weekend, there are six of us, and we end up at the Hofbrauhaus for some drinks.

They're all shooting Jager and Goldschlager and whatever else they can get their hands on. I've been to bars before, I know what I like and what I don't like. I order a Hacker Pschorr and enjoy my 1L beer for the same price as each of their shots.

Somehow I knew this would turn ugly, so I am taking it easy, and even though we have a DD, I am making sure we don't end up in Canadian jail. At one point, my roommate disappears for a while, but eventually returns. This bar was small, so he had to have taken a walk outside. Near closing time, we head out to our car, which is parked three blocks away at the casino. My roommate is blind drunk, and starting to act a little like an animal. The Hofbrauhaus is on the corner, and when we walk out, he sees a car parked in the opposite intersection. He bolts at it, takes a flying leap and lands on the hood (impressive to watch, actually) and begins to pound on this guys windshield. After a moment of shock, I run over and haul him off of the car before he can do serious damage. He's gone feral by now. I yell to the DD to run and get the car so we can stuff him in and get home.

I now had to play the waiting game with this angry bear and drunk people walking down the street. I literally have my arms wrapped around his waist, trying to keep him from lunging at passersby. One such lunge drags us both off our feet, and he proceeds to drag himself toward a couple, giving me some road rash on my arm that is pinned underneath him.

About this time, two bicycle cops arrive and begin to harass us. Apparently when he took a walk earlier, the cops stopped him and carded him. They're trying to antagonize him into throwing a punch while I am attempting to placate him.

When pressure is rising to a head, and I am not going to be able to hold him back any longer, his girlfriend and the DD miraculously show up with his car and we cram him in and motor back to the US.

Thank God we didn't all get tossed, but this story isn't quite over. When we got back to our parking garage, my roommate didn't have his parking pass, so I had to run and get mine from my car to swipe him into the structure. When I got back, the car was running in Park, all four doors were open, and the car was empty. I freaked out mildly and get the car parked. Upon further searching, I found a trail of spaghetti leading to the science building, around the corner, and up a hill. Apparently one lost his dinner, followed by another, followed by another.

This all culminates with finding the drunken group trying to convince my roommate to not throw himself in the river. Finally, we coerce him to go to bed.

The rest of the night, the DD and I kept vigil over him to make sure he didn't choke on his own vomit. He was breathing really heavy and sounded like he was dying, but he pulled through. I think he learned his lesson. He started drinking beer, and more moderately, after that.
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Old 06-05-2012, 03:43 PM   #137
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Jan 2012
Hartford, CT
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Originally Posted by sean View Post
i spent the night in an oak tree!!


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Old 06-05-2012, 08:06 PM   #138
Dec 2011
Redding, CA
Posts: 89
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These are dumb things we have done ? Okay, while in college (sound familiar???) I got in a fight with a garbage can in front of a Jimmy Johns in an attempt to impress a couple players from our basketball team ( so I am told). Later that night I decided to get into a rap battle with a homeless guy.... It was the best idea I have ever had at the time.

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Old 06-05-2012, 08:14 PM   #139
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Aug 2010
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Buddy and I are at a girl's place. Buddy has a major crush in the girl. Buddy has one or two too many and falls asleep on the couch. The girl and I stay up and have a few more drinks and, well, you know the rest. Complete d**k move by me.
Who is this Rorschach guy? And why did he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?

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Old 06-05-2012, 09:04 PM   #140
Feb 2012
Van, BC
Posts: 273
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at a remote lake beach campground in the middle of nowhere.around october so no other campers. tons of driftwood everywhere. so we took it upon our selves to light 5 bon fires along the beach.. they were so nice and cozy i passed out beside one. come time to leave i'm in my macho mountain man drunken state, i think sleeping on the beach was a GREAT idea.. my friends didn't but i was willing to fight to stay.. so they left back to the cabin.. i wake up at 3am no more fire.. very cold and my favorite vest is melted.. im lucky i didn't catch on fire. also lucky i wasn't a snack to a bear or pack of wolves lol.. 30 min walk back in pitch black. then proceeded to wake everybody up and tell them they are ******** for leaving me.. even tho i was the only *******..

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