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Whatsgoodmiley

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I brewed midwest supplies' London Fog porter. I did all the steps:
- aerate wort
- hydrate the yeast
- dechlorinate water with Campden

Its gravity went from 1.045 to 1.011 to be around 4.20%. I fermented it for 2 weeks in primary, two in secondary, and it's been conditioning for 8 days.

Primed with the prescribed amount of corn sugar.

There wasn't really a yeast cake in this bottle and it was completely flat, save for a few bubbles. I haven't checked any other bottles because I'm not home, but I'm worried.

TL;DR: Why flat?
 
8 days is rather short for bottle conditioning even for a 40-something point brew. A couple of weeks at "room temperature", then at least a few days chilling down in the fridge, always worked for me when I was bottling, even for much beefier beers.

Otherwise...have you successfully used that capper before? Did you use the same crown caps this time?

Next batch, fill one 12 ounce soda bottle and cap it tight. Keep it with the glass, and give it a squeeze every few days. When it gets rock hard, you'll know the glass is carbed up and ready for chilling...

Cheers!
 
Holy crap that bottle thing is a fantastic idea. I've used the same equipment on a batch that ended up with half of them being flat, but I attributed the flatness to the fact it was an imperial saison that fermented to 9% (I was expecting 11%) and I scorched the wort. What confuses me is that this bottle didn't have any yeast cake at the bottom.

Also, if the rest are like this, how do I fix it?
 
I agree with the capper theory - I've had capper problems before. But 8 days is really too short to panic. I'd give them 3 weeks total and check again.
 
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