Dwarf varieties are easier to train horizontally. First Gold and Summit come to mind. Very hard to obtain rhizomes though, as First Gold isn't grown much in the USA and Summit is new and in limited distribution.
Remember one unassailable statistic, as explained by the late, great George Carlin: "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!"
"I would like to die on Mars, just not on impact." Elon Musk