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Old 02-13-2008, 12:22 PM   #21
capcrnch
 
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We do these alot..

Don't let your meat loaf...
Don't let your side walk...
Don't let your sizzle lean...
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Old 02-13-2008, 12:52 PM   #22
HighPlainsDrifter
 
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I tell SWMBO every once in a while....

Women!!!, can't live with 'em,
shoot 'em and you go to jail.

Of course she knows I'm only joking....I hope
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Old 02-13-2008, 01:39 PM   #23
JustDave
 
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One of my roommates in college would always say "don't get none on ya" when he would leave.

 
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Old 02-13-2008, 01:49 PM   #24
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One of my staple quotes is "don't fall in". The intended context is when someone announces (unnecessarily) that they're going to the bathroom, particularly girls... But I often use it WAY out of context as well.

 
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Old 02-13-2008, 02:06 PM   #25
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Not funny, just amusing: an old boss of mine, around quitting time:

'The time has come, the walrus said..."
... and he would pick up his jacket and leave!

It was a nice way to say, just go home, no point saying late at work...
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Old 02-13-2008, 02:06 PM   #26
Brentk14
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If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger....
Or weak as a kitten cause it almost killed you!
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Old 02-13-2008, 03:51 PM   #27
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I got a ton of them ... my father is collects sayings/phrases like they're precious coins. Most of them are tossed around at hunting camp. just a few of them ...

When someone announces they have to use the outhouse (literally):
"Why don't you just break off a finger and throw it out in the yard" - meaning they're full of crap already

"Shi!!in' in tall cotton" - meaning everying this going good.

"You know what Hugo (an old one-armed drunken indian my father was friends with) says ... if you don't use your head for thinkin' you might as well have two a$$holes" - when someone does something stupid

"crazier than a $hithouse rat" - usually used in reference to women.

One of these days I'm going to publish a book of these.

 
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Old 02-13-2008, 04:04 PM   #28
TexLaw
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Humpsalot
One thing I say, whenever someone is leaving is, "Well, you behave yourself, ya hear?" Of course, this is especially funny since I am only 30 years old. I picked it up from my now deceased grandfather.
My late grandfather's farewell always was "Don't get get into trouble, unless you get a chance!" I adopted that one early on, myself.

Whenever someone was in his way and he thought they should get out (usually on the road), he would say "What's he waiting on? Courage?" I like that one, too.

Just about my favorite, though, is how my late Aunt Jewel would handle taking photos. Most folks, when they are about to take a posed photograph, just say "smile" to signal that the shutter is about to click. Aunt Jewel would shout out, "Everybody say 'sex!'" That would get some real smiles, and it still does whenever I use it.


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Old 02-13-2008, 04:25 PM   #29
Lil' Sparky
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I tend to do stupid things sometimes. When someone makes a joke about it, I'll say "But I'm feeling much better now". - one of those strange things I picked up off the old sitcom Night Court.

I'm sure there's a lot of those goofy, where'd he get that, kind of things I say often.
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Old 02-13-2008, 05:14 PM   #30
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A couple weeks ago I was driving back after a weekend in the mountains and I felt pretty tierd a couple hours into the drive so I asked if anyone else could drive but noone semed to bother switching until I said (as drowsy as I could sound):

"I want to die a calm death... In my sleep... Like my grandfather... Not screaming in panic like the passengers in his car..."

H

 
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