The big companies have ways of speed conditioning lagers, one of which is pumping the brew through a pipe packed with yeast. The days of 3-4 months of lagering are long gone.
Remember one unassailable statistic, as explained by the late, great George Carlin: "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!"
"I would like to die on Mars, just not on impact." Elon Musk