Old Timer Sayings

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hoppybrewster

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Lets list some old sayings we've heard from our old timers whether we understood them or not.

My dad always told me "You're pi$$ing up a rope"!
 
Useless as tits on a boar hog

Or referring to having sex as "getting some mouse ear"??????

I used to work with an old guy who would say those two all the time.
 
Were you born in a barn
Walk up hill both ways to school
I brought you into this world, and I can take you out (my personal favorite)

Dave
 
my friends grandpa would say "i would sooner F*** then eat and always be hungry."

during the fall hunting season a friend would always say "smells like Sadie's rotten crotch" cuz of the dying leaves and stuff.

i have more crude lines but doubt HBT would want them since some are a little racist.
 
I'm not sure how common this is, but I like "Ehna", roughly translating to "isn't it"?
 
"Honest to Pete!" (when you might otherwise say sh*t! after spilling dinner on the floor, etc.)

My grandfather always said, when we finished a tile job when I was a kid: "Good enough for women we date."
 
"Goddamnittohell!"
"Ain't got a pot to piss in."
"Went to **** and the hogs got him."
"Buster crab"

Ain't got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out.
Can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
Bit the green weenie.
He'd f*** a bowling ball.
So lazy he married a pregnant girl.
 
My favorites:

Older lawnmower mechanic speaking about a mutual coworker, "That boy don't know s*%t from apple butter. Don't want to neither."

As a pain in the butt (& wallet) teenager, my exasperated father once told me.

"I'm gonna tell it to you like my dad told me. 'Son, I can't make you do anything, but I can sure as hell make you wish you woulda'."
 
"Just cause his mouth open and close don't make it a prayer book."
Don't believe everything someone says.

"He can sure put away some groceries."
"You must have a hollow leg."
Can eat a lot.

"Can't. Got a bone in my leg."
Bullcrap excuse.

"Yunt I'll carry ya over there."
Offer to drive you somewhere.

"Walking ain't crowded."
Not offering to drive you somewhere.

"You're about to find out."
About to learn something the hard way.

"Bet you didn't know that."
Just learned something the hard way.
 
If shoes were clues, you'd be shoe less.

That dog has the patience of job. Dog sitting at the base of a tree waiting for a squirrel.

You have s*** for brains
 
Paternal grandpa (We're of Scandanavian ancestry and live in Wisconsin.) (And I'm spelling this phonetically) "Aw, fer cry-yie!"

Old southern black co-worker - "She's uglier than homemade sin!"
 
Hotter than a June bride !

Colder than a well diggers belt buckle!

Lower than a snakes butt in a wagon rut !

So old he farts dust!
 
My grandpa would say (while patting his gut) that "If you have a good tool you better build a shed for it."

The other favorite was "It's like sticking a noodle up a wildcats ass".
 
Useless as tits on a bore hog.

It's got a broke motor. Referring to anything that doesn't work.

Sweating like a whore in church.

If your waiting on me you're backing up. Yea I don't get it either

All things my grandad said to me. RIP grandpa.
 
While eyeing a shiny show car ,
" Well, if it don't go, chrome it ".

and, in reply to a pissed off, sassing son,
"someday you might be bigger than me, but you'll never be meaner"
 
"Tighter than Dick's hat band" - as when referring to anything tight. No idea what the origins of this one are.

"Been around since Christ was corporal" - Anything or anyone old.
 
Prouder than a puppy with 2 peters

Fuller than a tick on a hounds ear.

Finer that frog hair split 4 ways

Slicker than a minnow's peter

Swoll up like a poisoned puppy

Slicker than greased owl sh*t
 
When I worked for a trucking company, Lester the old mechanic would call me an Ol' Pot Licker.

When you said something was hard, grandpa would say "Try taking a flying fu** at a rolling doughnut"
 
"It's raining like cow piss on a flat rock." It's raining very hard.

"Slicker than greased goose $hit on glass." Usually refers to icy roads, but could be anything slick or slippery.

"I'll mop the floor with you." A threat, not an idle one either.

"Mercy stars!" An expletive, on par with "Oh my goodness!"

"Sam hell;" as in: "What in the Sam Hell were you thinking!?!" I always wondered who this Sam was, but I knew better than to ask.

"Quicker than greased lightning." Very fast or nimble.

"Hide & watch." Wait and see.

"Tight as a frog's ass." Refers to anything tight.

"Clear as mud." Usually refers to complex instructions.

"Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without." Pretty much self explanitory, but it means you don't throw anything away if it can still be used for something. For example: The clock on your clock radio is broken, but the radio still works; don't throw it away, just use it as a radio & get a new clock.
 
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