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Old 05-01-2013, 08:39 PM   #1
Nooga
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May 2013
Chattanooga, TN
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So I've been hearing buddies at work talk about brewing during lunch and decided to give it go.

Based on what I could figure from them, I went out and bought a bucket and a turkey fryer from Home Depot. Then I went to the beer making store and bought 5 pounds of grain, 5 little bags of hops, and 5 packets of yeast. I figured I was going to make 5 gallons of beer so that sounds about right.

Then I filled up the turkey fryer pot with 5 gallons of water. Threw the grain and hops in there and boiled it for about twenty minutes until it looked nice and golden brown and smelled like beer. Then I poured it through a clean t-shirt into the bucket to strain out all the mess. I threw in the yeast and sealed that baby up with the lid to the bucket.

So, my questions are, how long do I need to keep it sealed up in the bucket before I can drink it. Two: How do I get it from the bucket to the bottles Ive been saving. It seems to heavy to pour through a funnel. Three: Can I just screw the old caps back on the bottles or do I need to buy the new ones they sell at the beer making store.

 
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Old 05-01-2013, 08:44 PM   #2
Denny
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I SO hope this is a joke.....
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Old 05-01-2013, 08:47 PM   #3
hunter_la5
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Not to sound like a douche, but I hope this is a joke...

If not, I suggest you go back to the home brew shop and have the guy walk you through the process of making beer. Maybe start with kit recipes that include instructions. There's quite a bit about your method that needs to be corrected.
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Old 05-01-2013, 08:51 PM   #4
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Old 05-01-2013, 08:55 PM   #5
hunter_la5
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1) Beer is not just a random amount of grain, hops, and yeast. Follow a recipe.
2) Grain should not be boiled. It needs to mashed at proper temps, and then the liquid needs to be boiled separately.
3) You probably used WAY too much yeast.
4) I hope your bucket has an airlock to vent gas. A sealed fermentation container is going to get.... explosive.
5) It's vital that everything that touches the beer following the boil is SANITARY. That bit about the t-shirt makes me nervous...
6) I hope you chilled the beer to at least room temp before you pitched the yeast, otherwise you probably just killed all of it.
7) A *sanitized* siphon is the best way transfer beer to the bottles from a bucket, preferably with a bottling wand.
8) You need pry-off caps on non-twist-off bottles, and the caps need to be new.
9) I could keep going....

Seriously, it pays to do a bit of research before you dive right in. Your local homebrew shop is a great resource, as is this website, if you look in the stickies.
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Old 05-01-2013, 08:59 PM   #6
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good one....

 
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Old 05-01-2013, 09:02 PM   #7
Conman13
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Apr 2013
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This is hilarious. I truly hope this is a joke.

 
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Old 05-01-2013, 09:07 PM   #8
Clonefan94
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This is hilarious. I truly hope this is a joke.
But what if this ends up as the greatest beer ever made?

 
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Old 05-01-2013, 09:18 PM   #9
thejudge
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Feb 2013
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Lmfao, nice... But defiantly makes ya wonder what it'll taste like 😝 just not brave enough myself to try lol.

 
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Old 05-01-2013, 09:25 PM   #10
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Don't feed the trolls...

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